shy student

[Seabreeze]

Hi

im currently in my second year of university, and house sharing with 3 other girls. ive always been shy, cant remember wen i havnt been.....starting university i found extremly difficult especially living on campus. And going to lectures alone, wen theres inexcess of 500 ppl. sitting in the front by urself in a lecture centre is very frightening,

i would love to hear from other students who have the same problem, as university can be very depressing experience for us shy ppl!!

thanks u guys

[wshonastr]

Guest-Seabreeze said:

Hi

im currently in my second year of university, and house sharing with 3 other girls. ive always been shy, cant remember wen i havnt been.....starting university i found extremly difficult especially living on campus. And going to lectures alone, wen theres inexcess of 500 ppl. sitting in the front by urself in a lecture centre is very frightening,

I can totally relate. I am also a second year college student and have experienced many of the same things you wrote about (see my diary post "this is my first post..) It's really frusterating sometimes, but at least you can take comfort in the fact that you aren't the only one going through this. You know what they say "misery loves company" lol. hang in there

[Seabreeze]

i hate going into lectures, especially wen there are so many ppl. i get really nervous. this year has been totally shit. i was really down wen i moved to uni. found it difficult makin friends, really ate me up...

[Seabreeze]

i got to the point where i decided to see a therapist, which i am doing no. she is very helpfull and we try and talk about my feelings and past experiences, especially my childhood and up brining. very helpfull

[wshonastr]

Guest-Seabreeze said:

i hate going into lectures, especially wen there are so many ppl. i get really nervous. this year has been totally shit. i was really down wen i moved to uni. found it difficult makin friends, really ate me up...

I dont like going into lectures either. The school I transferred to this semester is so much bigger! At my old school classes had like 35 ppl in them now its more like 350 which is intimidating. I usually just sit in the back by myself and I feel so akward when see everyone else laughing and talking with thier friends while waiting for class to start. This year hasn't been the greatest for me either. New years resolution: be more outgoing and actually make friends. ha! we shall see how that works out for me

[seabreeze]

thats a good idea.
however in my case its abit more serious. sometimes i think im actually afraid to speak to ppl. i dont know. thats why im seeing a therapist i guess, to make sense of my feelings and anxietys about socialising with ppl.

since seeing someone i think i am more confident, definatley, old habits die hard though and getting rid of ur shyness will take time

[seabreeze]

i did make a few friends but...i think if ur very shy and quiet sometimes ppl mis interpret that as snobbery or rudness. there was someone who i thought was my friend but they kinda turned turned on me. became really nasty. i think he thought i was a snob or bitchy, i dont know

[wshonastr]

wshonastr said:

New years resolution: be more outgoing and actually make friends. ha! we shall see how that works out for me

I actually do have friends. I am just in wierd depressed/sarcastic mood rite now. I really do want to be more outgoing though

Guest-seabreeze said:

if ur very shy and quiet sometimes ppl mis interpret that as snobbery or rudness.

Although I have never been told I am snobby or anything to my face, I do think u might be right about this. I probably don't give off a very friendly or approachable vibe, which would stop ppl from coming up to me, and of course I'm usually to scared to go up tp them all, of which makes it that much harder to make friends.

Guest-seabreeze said:

. thats why im seeing a therapist i guess, to make sense of my feelings and anxietys about socialising with ppl.

since seeing someone i think i am more confident, definatley, old habits die hard though and getting rid of ur shyness will take time

Glad to hear the therapy is working for ya. good luck

[broncofan2222]

I will be in college next year. I am trying to get over it, before I go. I am not shy around people I know well, but around people I dont know very well, or have just met, I am scared sometimes to talk to them. I need to go back to my church group I was in. I have been in homeschool all of high school. One thing I have observed, and know is the right way, but cannot get my self to do it yet is, you have to go up to people and talk to them yourself most of the time. Don't wait for people to come to you. Hopefully, I will be over this problem by next year.

[Seabreeze]

i have ppl that i speak to aswell, but i wouldnt call them my friends.

its very funny because even with friends that ive known for a long time, i sometimes still find it very difficult makin small talk,

its probably just me thinking too much instead of being spontaneous and natural i guess.

with the comment i made earlier, i know it is definately true that us shysters are open to alot of misinterpretation. ive even had work collegues and acquaintances tell me that im snobby! and selective in the ppl i hang around with! . ive also been told that im proud,

i can really understand what ur talkimg about wen u say ur in a weird kinda mode at the moment. wen i was living on campus, id gat ppl who ask me to go out, sure, but i would never go. i was in this weird dilemma where, even though i wanted to go out, id stay in cos socialisng with ppl so uncomfortable.

So u stay in, everyday, and u get really miserable.

its very hard for ppl like us cos u think gees i should be enjoyinf my life, not be stuck in my room doin shit.

from my own experiemce right now the best advice id give ppl is, u have to patieents with urself cos it does take time

[seabreeze]

p.s......... im from London by the way where is everyone else from?

[wshonastr]

im from california

[wshonastr]

Guest-Seabreeze said:

i have ppl that i speak to aswell, but i wouldnt call them my friends.

its very funny because even with friends that ive known for a long time, i sometimes still find it very difficult makin small talk,

I wouldnt call the people i talk to in my classes at school friends either...they were more like aquaintances and now that the semester is over i will probably never even see any of those ppl again. luckily i still keep in touch with some of my high school friends, and they are the ones i am closest to, although i dont see them as much as used to.

i know what you mean about making small talk. its so hard sometimes. i did have a good moment though the other day. i was at the mall and a saw a girl who i went to high school with. i didnt really know her, but she recognized me and stopped to say hi. i felt all nervous and shy but somehow i was able to think of things to say, and i think i pulled off the small talk thing pretty well. i dont know if i am gaining confidence or if that was just a good day but either way i felt pretty good afterwards. maybe this experience will help me for the next time.

[Cassava]

I went to university, but dropped out after a semmester. I got good grades and kinda regret leaving, but I am one of those people that finds it hard to meet new people. Moving to another country was hard.

I got on well with the people in my class, but I wouldn't see them when the day was over and had to share halls with a bunch of idiots.

If you have managed to stick with it for two years despite some hardships you have my respect.

[glenn miller]

cassava
same here. i went to to years of college. it was 1 of the hardest times for me. since it is real hard for me to make friends. and to get to know people. i did not really have any friends through college. just went to school to get a degree. i understand u.