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Post by seabreeze on Dec 24, 2004 6:45:54 GMT -5
u know what when i first started uni i dropped out after the first semester aswell!. i hated it. i think that was probably the most depressing period of my life. i started uni hoping that id somehow make freinds and my shyness would go away. in fact it got so worse and i found myself alone in my room everyday, feeling very lonley depressed. going into lectures was also depressing aswell. id sit all by myself, and often imagined thay ppl were talkin about me or that theyd notice i was a loner. even walkin down the streets was really hard aswell. always felt like ppl were lookin at me.
they say that university is spposed to to be one of the best times in your life, but for ppl like us its the complete opposite.
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Post by seabreeze on Dec 24, 2004 6:49:33 GMT -5
Hey Cassava,
are from the UK? if y wherebouts??
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Post by Cassava on Dec 24, 2004 8:21:13 GMT -5
Hey Cassava, are from the UK? if y wherebouts?? Gibraltar (a British colony in the south of Spain.) For more info check out.... www.gibraltar.giHaven't been to the UK in a while. I used to go every year on holidays or for shopping. I have many relatives in Ipswich (who are top of the Championship wohooo.)
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Post by marsnmars on Dec 24, 2004 8:44:09 GMT -5
Nice to know I am not the only one having problems with lectures, it does feel at times like I am the only idiot in the room who failed to make friends at lectures. It is painful seeing everyone have fun and chatting with their mates while I am hoping for the professor to hurry up and get it over and done with. I am halfway through uni and what I have done so far is just stop going to the lectures, which has probably affected my grades, but I just don't have the motivation to turn up, all it does it remind me of my problems.
Even in tutorials the only way I have made acquantices is when the tutor would put us into groups and people find out I am not the snob I probably appear due to my shyness.
I expected things to change in uni, I actually hoped to make lots of friends, maybe meet a girlfriend and really have a great time (like everyone else seems to). When I discovered what uni is really like it was a massive disapointment and it sent me into depression and horrible marks in my first year.
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Post by seabreeze on Dec 26, 2004 14:57:59 GMT -5
yeah, thats the worst part. everyone around you seems to be having the time of their life, while your alone, miserable and depressed.
in lectures i tend to sit at the front so that ppl will think im alone because im really studious and concentrating on the lecture.
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NickH
Full Member
Posts: 160
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Post by NickH on Dec 30, 2004 9:37:28 GMT -5
Been pretty much the same for me and i'm now half-way through my last year. Like Seabrease says, for shy people like us, being at uni and away from home can be a very lonely time, and not really what people make out uni is like. What annoys me the most is that what most other people there take for granted, i.e being social and making friends, i find very hard and it tends to play on my mind a lot of the time, sometimes to the point where i can't concentrate on the lecture.
With regards to sitting on your own in lectures, i wouldn't worry about it too much, when i'm in a lecture i usually sit in a small group with a couple of other guys, but i do notice that some people come in and sit on there own (we probably notice these things more than others!) and i don't automatically make assumptions about there personality or point them out and make comments. I just think i can't tell anything about the person just by the fact they are sitting on there own, and i think most of the more outgoing, social people in the room wouldn't have even noticed that the person was even there, let alone sitting on there own. Basically what i'm trying to say is don't sweat it too much as people are usually preoccupied with there own group to worry about what other people are doing, and also that i guarantee your not the only one sitting on there own.
Nick
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Post by Tal on Jan 28, 2005 16:29:43 GMT -5
I'm in my third (and final) year at uni in the UK.
Yep, it's been three lonely years. Talked to people in some clases or when i see them, but not made any friendships.
Thankfully I've been able to rent a place outside uni for the last two years, so I've not had to suffer living on campus.
Drinking in smokey bars is the main pass-time there and since I hate both, I realised pretty quickly I wasn't going to make any friends there.
I guess I'd rather be on my own than stuck with people I didn't like doing something I hated.
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fd100
New Member
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Post by fd100 on Jan 28, 2005 20:59:08 GMT -5
hi, i'm supposed to be going to uni this year (UK) i have applied and stuff got open days etc....... Basically i am ok with the good friends i have, and ok with people i don't know well as long as theres still a friend or two there with me. But i do get uncomfortable around people i dont know well, especially when its just 1 to 1. I do still go out but a lot of times at parties i feel either uncomfortable or use alcohol to calm myself. Some of the stuff you guys have said is making me have second thoughts about going to university but i was hoping to build my confidence over the rest of this year through doing stuff i feel uncomfortable with more often (practice makes perfect etc). Was just wondering how you guys were before Uni - In 6th form or college and stuff.
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Post by Tal on Jan 29, 2005 6:29:40 GMT -5
Don't have second thoughts about university just because your shy or nervous around people. It's not worth throwing away the chance to get a good education just for those reasons. If your lucky you might meet friendly people in your halls of residence or in your classes. You sound like your willing to go out to bars/parties etc, so that means if people invite you with them, you'll at least be willing to go.
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fd100
New Member
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Post by fd100 on Jan 30, 2005 7:08:36 GMT -5
oh ok thx for reply. Main reason i go to parties and stuf now is cos i know i have good friends there ...and still a little nervous before. Maybe it'll be different at uni but i'll have to try harder i guess
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Post by seabreeze on Jan 31, 2005 9:00:29 GMT -5
definatley try and get out there cos wen u start uni ur problems wont just disappear over night. if ur really shy ull encounter same problems that plagued u bfore u started. do u start this year? wat u uni are u thinkin of going 2?
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Post by seabreeze on Jan 31, 2005 9:04:59 GMT -5
. Maybe it'll be different at uni but i'll have to try harder i guess See thats were ur wrong. i dont wanna scare u but going to university doesnt mean that things will be different . it will be good if ur realistic about things. i remember wen i first started i thought that things would be differnt , id make lots of friends, live on campus, live the studfent life. this didnt happen an i got really depressed bout it
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fd100
New Member
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Post by fd100 on Feb 1, 2005 4:46:46 GMT -5
i don't know, loughborough or east anglia or something, these open days will suck tho
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Post by seabreeze on Feb 1, 2005 14:39:04 GMT -5
loughbourough is a good uni. i remember when i was applying to my universities i didnt go to any open days cos i was too frightend to go by myself
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Post by Tal on Feb 1, 2005 14:39:43 GMT -5
That's the Norwich one right? I went to an open day there 3 years ago when I was looking. It never made it into my two final choices, but I guess it was okay. Random thought: It seemed to me some universities attracted tall people, whilst others had shorter people. I can't imagine why. Norwich was one where everyone seemed taller than me...lol ...weird
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