Post by NickH on Dec 19, 2004 9:02:35 GMT -5
I've been a member of another forum for a few months, www.learningattic.com/forum/phpBB2/ but it seems to be pretty dead now so i thought i'd come on here as its a lot more active. When joined up there i made this post:
"OK so this is my first post on this forum, i did actually come across it a few days ago but have been too busy reading through and connecting with a lot of the post. I'd first just like to say how glad i am to have found it, like a lot of people here i have been battling with my shyness for most of my life and its finally a relief to have found a place where i can connect with others and not feel so alone in my disposition.
I'm 20 years old, male, and will be starting my last year of Uni (what we call collage in the uk ) in September, i've never had a girlfrend or even kissed a girl before (how hard was it to just right that...) and i only have a couple of friends, good friends at that though, even if i don't see them that often. I didn't really have much hope when i started uni that my situation would improve, and indeed it didn't as i've found myself avoiding pretty much every social event i've had the chance to go to or been invited to, which is depressing. I've only really made one proper friend since i've been there, and a few aquaintances. The thing is under certain circumstances i can actually get talking to people and hold conversations with them without getting to wound up, and i don't experience the sweaty palms, blushing, fainting, nausia that i've heard a few people on here mention. The worst situations are where i'm in a large group of people at a social gathering, i find it impossible to make my presence felt and usually just stand there smiling nervously and saying nothing the whole time, which just makes me really selfconcious and get no enjoyment out of it. Every time i've tried this its been such a disaster that i just don't put myself in that position anymore, which was an issue quite recently as my sister (whos a year and a half older than me and very outgoing) invited me to her birthday dinner with a large group of her friends, naturally i didn't go and i explained to her why i couldn't which she understood (even though i do this everytime she will still ask me, which is nice, i just wanna be able to say yes!). I think it disappointmented me more than her that i couldn't go, but i've just kind of resided myself to the fact that i'm always gonna say no to these situations.
I think for the past few years i've just been in denial about my shyness, i tell myself i'm happy and i don't wanna be around outgoing and lively people beacause their idiots or whatever, when really its me that has the problem that i need to address. Anyway i've decided i don't wanna go on like this anymore as at times it gets me quite depressed, so i've decided i'm gonna do somit about it (in a positive way, i'm not gonna kill myself or anything ), i've got 2 months left before i start my final year of uni, and i don't want it to be a repeat of the first 2 years. "
Well i made that post over three months ago during my summer of from uni, and now i'm back home for xmas and basically my situation is no different. I thought that by finally waking up to my problem and deciding i wanted to do something about it i could make some steps in the right direction but it hasn't really worked out. Its annoying cos i keep hearing people say that lifes too short and you have to take advantage of it while you can, and while i fully believe that centiment i just can't seem to make it sink in so that i feel compelled to sort my life out.
Anyway sorry to ramble on but just wanted to bring everyone up to speed on my situation. BTW i noticed over at that forum most people are from the states whereas i'm from the uk, are there anymore uk peeps on here?
Nick
"OK so this is my first post on this forum, i did actually come across it a few days ago but have been too busy reading through and connecting with a lot of the post. I'd first just like to say how glad i am to have found it, like a lot of people here i have been battling with my shyness for most of my life and its finally a relief to have found a place where i can connect with others and not feel so alone in my disposition.
I'm 20 years old, male, and will be starting my last year of Uni (what we call collage in the uk ) in September, i've never had a girlfrend or even kissed a girl before (how hard was it to just right that...) and i only have a couple of friends, good friends at that though, even if i don't see them that often. I didn't really have much hope when i started uni that my situation would improve, and indeed it didn't as i've found myself avoiding pretty much every social event i've had the chance to go to or been invited to, which is depressing. I've only really made one proper friend since i've been there, and a few aquaintances. The thing is under certain circumstances i can actually get talking to people and hold conversations with them without getting to wound up, and i don't experience the sweaty palms, blushing, fainting, nausia that i've heard a few people on here mention. The worst situations are where i'm in a large group of people at a social gathering, i find it impossible to make my presence felt and usually just stand there smiling nervously and saying nothing the whole time, which just makes me really selfconcious and get no enjoyment out of it. Every time i've tried this its been such a disaster that i just don't put myself in that position anymore, which was an issue quite recently as my sister (whos a year and a half older than me and very outgoing) invited me to her birthday dinner with a large group of her friends, naturally i didn't go and i explained to her why i couldn't which she understood (even though i do this everytime she will still ask me, which is nice, i just wanna be able to say yes!). I think it disappointmented me more than her that i couldn't go, but i've just kind of resided myself to the fact that i'm always gonna say no to these situations.
I think for the past few years i've just been in denial about my shyness, i tell myself i'm happy and i don't wanna be around outgoing and lively people beacause their idiots or whatever, when really its me that has the problem that i need to address. Anyway i've decided i don't wanna go on like this anymore as at times it gets me quite depressed, so i've decided i'm gonna do somit about it (in a positive way, i'm not gonna kill myself or anything ), i've got 2 months left before i start my final year of uni, and i don't want it to be a repeat of the first 2 years. "
Well i made that post over three months ago during my summer of from uni, and now i'm back home for xmas and basically my situation is no different. I thought that by finally waking up to my problem and deciding i wanted to do something about it i could make some steps in the right direction but it hasn't really worked out. Its annoying cos i keep hearing people say that lifes too short and you have to take advantage of it while you can, and while i fully believe that centiment i just can't seem to make it sink in so that i feel compelled to sort my life out.
Anyway sorry to ramble on but just wanted to bring everyone up to speed on my situation. BTW i noticed over at that forum most people are from the states whereas i'm from the uk, are there anymore uk peeps on here?
Nick