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Post by AnonYGirL on Jan 24, 2005 4:26:06 GMT -5
Okay, I was always a quiet baby. Not shy with people though. I don't remember not having friends when I was 5 and 6. But then, one day I remember chattering with someone about something and asserting my position, and I was the only one talking, and then in a loud angry voice, my teacher scared the crap out of me by yelling with a bad look on her face: "WHO'S TALKING!? Wow I was scared. Do you guys think that mentally damaged me or something? I wish it was probably fate to be quiet. But somehow, after that point, it was never the same.
I quickly lost a friend to a bully who wanted to be my friend's friend and wanted me to stay away. She abused me in secret and told me never to take away her friend. And told me not to tell my mom and dad that she hit me. So I lost that friend. I had relationships with classmates. . . some playground ones, but those weren't life lasting.
For some reason in 4th grade I went over to someone and I took the initiative. I think it was after I lost the good friends I played with on the playground. She was a very good friend to me and she had just gotten into a fight with her good nonshy friends. She had no idea I was quiet, I think. I was one of her only good friends for a while Then she realized there were "better people" than me, though she didn't say, and we grew apart and finally never spoke anymore. I was the passive, and she was the aggressive. Guess she needed both to be on the same wavelength. And I lost her. But all through this, I had one constant friend. One friend who enjoyed coming up with the things to say, the ways to get me involved, have fun with me, and I could always get out of my shell with her after she initiated. But come on, that could only go on for so long, right? I mean you grow and realize there is more to life. Luckily, she was younger than me and I would grow faster than her. But that is another story.
I'm wondering what would have happened if that teacher would not have yelled at 'me'.
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Post by Toltec on Jan 24, 2005 5:12:50 GMT -5
That's possible. When we're young, teachers are pretty powerful authority figures. They're the all-knowing authority figure for 8 hours a day.
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DJ
New Member
Posts: 5
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Post by DJ on Jan 25, 2005 2:36:19 GMT -5
AnonYGirL, unfortunately, there are many teachers and school administrators who shouldn't be near children. The teacher you mentioned, is a prime example. I certainly recall teachers, an assistant principal, and a guidance counselor who made my life more difficult than it should have been.
There's no way of knowing for sure how much this teacher adversely affected you. Yet believe me, there are people who are reading what you wrote, including myself, who truly wish you the best in the future.
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Post by AnonYGirL on Jan 26, 2005 1:33:30 GMT -5
The ironic thing: out of all my teachers, she was my parent's favorite teacher. Out of all my years of public schooling  She was so nice besides that one incident. Thnks |
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Post by wakeryder on Jan 28, 2005 14:36:15 GMT -5
i had a teacher like that to. was hard .
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Post by Cassava on Jan 29, 2005 5:16:32 GMT -5
I dunno. If that one incident affected you so much it's possible that something else in life would have happened later in life that would have affected you anyway. Even if that teacher busniess hadn't happened something else could have happened and given the same result.
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NickH
Full Member
Posts: 160
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Post by NickH on Jan 29, 2005 9:18:15 GMT -5
I'm not sure if thats necessarily true. At that age people are still developing mentally and finding out about the world, and as such will be more influenced by there environment, i'm not saying that that incident was necessarily what caused you to become shy, but if something had happened to you like that a bit later in life i think it is possible you would be more resilliant to it and as a result wouldn't have affected you in the same way. Of course this is only a theory as i'm no expert on the subject.
Nick
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Post by Medici on Jan 29, 2005 14:59:34 GMT -5
You know one time my 6th grade teacher, the old hag, screamed at me like that. I will never forget it. Not sure what effect it had on me if any, but I have always wanted my revenge on her. In fact one time the kids in the class were misbehaving on a field trip. It got so bad that the teacher was in tears. When I saw she was crying, I just smiled a little, to myself.  (That's how I'd like to remember it) |
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Post by shypsychologyguy on Mar 21, 2005 23:11:09 GMT -5
the fact that you remember the incident in great detail today shows that it was significant. For me thoughts and feelings i had in 4th and 5th grade mirror some feelings i have today. I work at an after school day care and when im around the smart alleky 5th graders who hate me, I feel unwanted ,rejected and powerless once again. I have to remind myself that they are just kids.
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Post by wagnerr on Mar 23, 2005 16:41:11 GMT -5
everybody seems to have been tortured by somebody as a grade school kid,lol. you know what would be really funny? to meet those same kids who tormented us back then again today - still as the little kids they were. then maybe we could truly see how insignificant they are and were. I have actually met a few of these such people that made my life miserable. One guy was very open to me and seemed to think we were friends because we had gone to the same high school together. I frowned at him and told him to F-off. He looked at me real puzzled like, and it just made me angrier. I hate people like this. They act like they're completely innocent of things that happened in the past, and maybe i shouldn't have reacted to him like that, but he didn't even care to think about my feelings then, so why should i like him now? |
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Post by urbanspaceman on Mar 24, 2005 7:27:58 GMT -5
I have actually met a few of these such people that made my life miserable. One guy was very open to me and seemed to think we were friends because we had gone to the same high school together. I frowned at him and told him to F-off. He looked at me real puzzled like, and it just made me angrier. I hate people like this. They act like they're completely innocent of things that happened in the past, and maybe i shouldn't have reacted to him like that, but he didn't even care to think about my feelings then, so why should i like him now? I can completely relate to this Wagnerr. One particular person who made my life hell at school once came up to me and greeted me like we were long-lost buddies, when all he ever did when we were kids was attempt to humiliate me, among other people, in front of the class. Unlike you, I just wear a mask in these kinds of situation. I just acknowledge him, and swiftly move away or start a conversation with friends I am with. The adolescent in me would love to tell him to F**k off but this kind of thing that happened to me a long time ago is just that really: in the past, nothing that figures on my conscious thoughts that much these days. I agree with SweetPea to a degree. It's all a matter of letting stuff like this go. You're not the person you were then, and this other person is not who they were in the past most probably. This still doesn't mean I want to be friends with this person. When I think back to those times in school, I remember how hurt and humiliated I felt at times, and how long this stayed with me until I got out of school. I've probably contradicted myself somewhere in that babbling post, but ho-hum.... |
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She was so nice besides that one incident. Thnks
