Post by VictorH on Feb 4, 2005 21:32:24 GMT -5
I'm new to this site and my name is Victor, I'm a 15 year old teen. My original post crashed on me while I was about to put it on. Sorry if this one doesn't make up for it because my last one was 10x better (I had alot more to say back there when my mind was fresh, ugh. It made alot more sense too *sigh*). But... I decided that it was still important to retype everything significant because I still feel strongly about expressing myself. I'm sure people have been through alot worse isolation but here are one the stories.
I was a disturbed child when I was younger. I was always getting into trouble being loud, noisy, and wanting attention. My mom and dad were always busy at work, putting their best effort into fitting payment for the bills and buying food. They had little left to spend for themselves. My sister was left in charge of me and we often got into fights (usually she was the one to get blamed by my parents though). But, I don't blame her because she was young like me and she carried the burden of responsibility for both me and her school work. At school I caused alot of trouble (and was often made fun of) and at home I played around the house... by myself.
By the time I was 7 I had realised all the bad things I've done. I had seriously considered my faults and I felt so guilty. So I disciplined, isolated myself from the world and thought about my life every single day. That is one of the reasons why I still remember these events so well. By the time I was 13 I had barried myself in computer games and only aquainted myself with "net friends" for 5 years. My marks were horrible and was near failing. I had ignored my mom, dad, friends(if any), family, and didn't even bother to speak with my sister. I was depressed. My heart was filled with bitter-hate and frustration for the world.
But, one day I met this girl. She often tried to get me to talk(I ignored most people at school by instict). Until one day I finally mentioned how shy I was, she thought I didn't speak english lol. But, she decided to help me and since then I had never been so determined on battling my social insecurities and up until now I still am.
Sometimes I really wish I could go back in time and fix up all my mistakes (don't we all). But, then again I never would have learned so much about life if I did. Being shy has its ups and downs. You may not always be sure about yourself and, you question yourself many times. But, then you realise that you know yourself alot more better then you think you do. Personally, what I've learned from life is you can't place value on your life, that you have to "live your life to the fullest" and that your only given one. You have to be sure about the choices you make; whether its the things you say or the things you do. If you choose to be afraid of what people think of you, you do nothing, you go nowhere. And if you go nowhere you will never learn to get over these things. Mistakes and embarassment are just phases. Whatever is beyond that point is your decision to make.
I can sit here all day trying to figure out what I typed for hours but I'll never find out originally the things I really meant. (and it meant alot to me because I was deeply in the mood argggg!$!!@$! all the really important things were lost.) Anyhow I hope you've enjoyed my post
.
(*next time its copy and paste* sheesh damn comp why me...)
I was a disturbed child when I was younger. I was always getting into trouble being loud, noisy, and wanting attention. My mom and dad were always busy at work, putting their best effort into fitting payment for the bills and buying food. They had little left to spend for themselves. My sister was left in charge of me and we often got into fights (usually she was the one to get blamed by my parents though). But, I don't blame her because she was young like me and she carried the burden of responsibility for both me and her school work. At school I caused alot of trouble (and was often made fun of) and at home I played around the house... by myself.
By the time I was 7 I had realised all the bad things I've done. I had seriously considered my faults and I felt so guilty. So I disciplined, isolated myself from the world and thought about my life every single day. That is one of the reasons why I still remember these events so well. By the time I was 13 I had barried myself in computer games and only aquainted myself with "net friends" for 5 years. My marks were horrible and was near failing. I had ignored my mom, dad, friends(if any), family, and didn't even bother to speak with my sister. I was depressed. My heart was filled with bitter-hate and frustration for the world.
But, one day I met this girl. She often tried to get me to talk(I ignored most people at school by instict). Until one day I finally mentioned how shy I was, she thought I didn't speak english lol. But, she decided to help me and since then I had never been so determined on battling my social insecurities and up until now I still am.
Sometimes I really wish I could go back in time and fix up all my mistakes (don't we all). But, then again I never would have learned so much about life if I did. Being shy has its ups and downs. You may not always be sure about yourself and, you question yourself many times. But, then you realise that you know yourself alot more better then you think you do. Personally, what I've learned from life is you can't place value on your life, that you have to "live your life to the fullest" and that your only given one. You have to be sure about the choices you make; whether its the things you say or the things you do. If you choose to be afraid of what people think of you, you do nothing, you go nowhere. And if you go nowhere you will never learn to get over these things. Mistakes and embarassment are just phases. Whatever is beyond that point is your decision to make.
I can sit here all day trying to figure out what I typed for hours but I'll never find out originally the things I really meant. (and it meant alot to me because I was deeply in the mood argggg!$!!@$! all the really important things were lost.) Anyhow I hope you've enjoyed my post
. (*next time its copy and paste* sheesh damn comp why me...)
