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Post by phoenixferret on Jun 22, 2006 18:15:51 GMT -5
Yeek, I’ve been fighting the urge to post here and there for the past, hmm, couple of weeks? I didn’t want to post again until I’d gotten my new account, and I didn’t want to get my new account till I’d written this. I made it to 1,001 posts! ;D ...Even though almost 200 of them were deleted in one manner or another.... I don’t think I expected to stick around that long. I usually get bored with internet stuff after a short while and move along, though I’d never really tried posting on a forum before this. I still remember when I was eagerly awaiting my 500th post so I could finally be a “Super Member.” A little while ago at like 800-something posts I decided I wanted to get a new account at 1,000 posts. As much as I like to think I’ve come a ways since my first posts, and as horrifyingly, embarrassingly stupid as most of them now seem to me, I’d like to keep them in easy reach, for a few of reasons. First, I don’t like it that you can’t search for more than 1,000 posts at a time under an individual account, and I don’t want to lose that easy accessibility. I guess in a way that’s a good thing… you don’t have people going back to dredge up all your earliest blah blah blahing. But I kinda feel like it’s a good thing to show your crappy roots. I’ve always liked looking back at things I’ve done and thinking “crap! That’s so stupid…” Because I figure it means I’ve made some headway. ;D Since my first posts at SU, my life has changed drastically—much thanks to the site itself. I met my best-friend-slash-BF here, as well as a close online friend and a lot of very fun-to-talk-to people I’d like to get to know better—and probably would have already, if not for the fact that despite everything, I’m still pretty shy and an introvert. I like being the latter, but I’m working on the former. I’ve also amazed myself by actually getting a job and learning to work a cash register, which I never thought I’d be able to manage. And sure my co-workers seem to think I’m a little weird; and yeah, they practically hired me on sight; and ok, it’s only minimum wage; but it’s a job, and I’m mighty proud I managed to get that far. This site is definitely my favorite of the shyness sites I’ve seen so far; friendlier than ASS, less touchy-feely than SAS… I think we’ve got a nice balance of all types of people, and plenty of healthy disagreement. I hope that’s something this place never gives up, even in the name of cushioning our sensitive egos. So here’s my question to anyone who feels like answering it, but specifically anyone who’s been here for a while and/or made a lot of posts: how has this site affected your life? Let’s hear the story of how you found this place, whether coming here has helped you or hindered you, and how things have changed in your life since then.And I've got sort of a "present" for SUers in the works, which is also a present to me, heehee. I won't say anything other than that if you've been debating about posting a pic, now might be the time to do it.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jun 22, 2006 19:00:11 GMT -5
Cool and I like your new avatar.
I think the first time I heard of this place was several years ago when someone posted a link to it on ass and I went for a short chat.
I didn't return until maybe late 2004?
SAS is the group that really helped my SA in a profound way. I went from being nearly housebound to being able to survive at work, leaving my husband, and traveling around the world.
a.s.s. was just a place to hang out and post some fun and nonsense but back when it used to be fun, I felt I belonged. It is also where I met my best friend, the man I love.
SU is sort of an addiction now for when I am bored and lonely and have nothing to do. There are some pretty cool people on here.
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Post by Paulinus on Jun 23, 2006 5:56:31 GMT -5
I found SU just by googling shy just over a year ago when I was feeling depressed. It really did feel like I was the only person in world with this problem so it helped to know I wasn't alone. I like this place more any other shyness/social anxiety places I've found. Also through this place I've found the chatroom where I've managed to have random weird convos with lots of nice people ;D I've tried other similar chatrooms and not felt able to speak, this seems to have more people who think at my level (I'll leave it for others to decide what level that is ) Through this site I got my first(and only) experience of a girl seemingly being interested in me, which was nice at the time. Although it didn't last too long and I'm still embarrassed about how I behaved then, I suppose it was something to learn from. As for my life, it hasn't really changed while I was here, arguably its got worse as I had a job when I joined and now I don't. But I have done things I may have thought as impossible once. One that sticks out in my mind is flying to Ireland on my own and helping with a work demonstration while I was there. Like Ferret I've come across some nice people here who I'd like to get to know better if I wasn't so shy. This place kinda shows me nice people are out there as sometimes I'm guilty of feeling the world is just full of arseholes. In summary, SU Rules! ;D
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Post by Bodhi on Jun 24, 2006 14:06:29 GMT -5
Wow, nice idea for a post Ferret. I joined SU over a year ago I guess, around March 2005. I think it has helped me improve greatly in my life because its given me a place to talk to other people about my problems with many things dealing with shyness. If it wasn't for SU I'd have no where to get some things out because I wouldn't be talking about these things with the few friends I have or my family. I think its also helped motivate me to do things that I'd always been afraid to before. I know that if I do something scary socially, I have a place to post about the experience and not let it fester in my mind. Since I've joined I've done so much I hadn't done before. I got a job, am going back to school in the fall, and my weakest area with romantic relationships I've made tremendous progress. I'm still learning new things everyday and trying to continue improving myself. Its a difficult journey through life when you are shy and almost any social situation causes stress and anxiety. Its a good feeling to know there are many others going through the same things and who will be sympathetic to you and help you out. There are many people here I truly respect for their kind posts and advice. I wish I could know most of the people here in person. Thanks fellow SUers.
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lillypop
New Member
La vie est belle!
Posts: 24
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Post by lillypop on Jul 2, 2006 4:29:17 GMT -5
Great topic! This forum showed me that I am not alone. That there are many other people who are shy as well. I think it is good to know, that you are not alone. When I was in school, which was a long time ago, Yippppiiiee!, I thought I was the only shy person on earth. I like it here. There are a lot of cool people in this forum. I have great plans for my life and I need to get rid of my shyness to be able to achieve them. So that is why from time to time I have a look at this forum. Maybe I can learn from others or they can learn from me. I guess, this is what SU is about. Have a great day! LillyPop
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Post by Buzzz on Jul 5, 2006 23:16:24 GMT -5
I can't remember how I found this site, probably Google or something...I do remember I lurked for a few months before registering and it was a couple of months after that before I started posting. My life has gotten quite a bit worse in the year or so I've been here, although obviously not because of the site. I rarely post about my problems with shyness or stuff like that, because that's not what I use this site for. I just want to learn to interact with people the way I would like, and this could be a small first step. I almost never post to boards such as this; SU is only the third one that I've gotten to 1000 posts on. If I could get the damn software to load correctly I'd be in the chat room. I really think I'm missing a lot there. I kind of feel like I'm just peeking through the windows at the party going on inside, like I do in most groups I'm involved in.
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Post by theinfiniteabyss84 on Jul 5, 2006 23:40:50 GMT -5
I used to post on another shy site, forgot what it was called, when someone pm-ed me on there telling me about Shy United...1040+ posts later, I am still here ;D It has definately helped me a lot. I used to think I was the only one who felt this certain way, but this place made me realize I wasnt the only one. I have gained some friends on here, even though we havent met I still consider them really good friends which is so much more I have in real life. If I didnt have S.U., I would be so alone and lost, which I am now in my real life, but my online life is good, hehe. I am not sure if this helps me to interact with people in my everyday life, I hope it has some influence in it. Sometimes I feel weird about posting about how I feel, shyness and depression and loneliness and everything. But it feels good to get it out of my mind and I am very thankful that the people I somehow managed to befriend on here understand and listen to me. A lot of bad things have happened in my life during a span of 3 months (Dec-Feb) and I was so glad that I had this forum to turn to people for helpful words and everything. I think you are very much a part of this forum, I dont think you not being in the chat makes you an outsider at all, if thats what you were trying to say If not, totally disregard my comment, heh. So, yeah, I am definately very thankful I am here on SU ~i.a.
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Post by Knox on Sept 20, 2006 13:11:28 GMT -5
i think i first heard of this site on a shy forum on bolt.com,, now this is the only forum i ever go to... i dont think the forum has changed me too much,, mabye im a bit wiser and more aware of my shyness..also it has helped me realize that im not the only shy one out there..
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Post by skyhint on Sept 21, 2006 1:21:40 GMT -5
I don't know how much the site has helped but I'm less shy now and have more esteem. I found this site at a pretty low point. Thanks for the comfort.
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Post by Naptaq on Jan 25, 2008 10:27:37 GMT -5
So here’s my question to anyone who feels like answering it, but specifically anyone who’s been here for a while and/or made a lot of posts: how has this site affected your life? While this site is not all peaches and roses, as you well know, this site definitely helped me a lot. Not so much through discussion, but through some of the things I found while reading other people's posts.
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Post by annaa on Jan 25, 2008 15:57:24 GMT -5
What do you think of this thread then, Ferret? How've you changed?
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Jan 25, 2008 19:33:35 GMT -5
First, I don’t like it that you can’t search for more than 1,000 posts at a time under an individual account, and I don’t want to lose that easy accessibility. ahh....so that's why you made a new account. This is a pretty old post now, and was when I was away from SU for awhile. I understand what you mean, though. I don't see why there should be a limit as to how far you can search back. Perhaps that is something that should be changed... i think i first heard of this site on a shy forum on bolt.com,, now this is the only forum i ever go to... That's kind of funny, 'cause that may have very well been me. I was a member of bolt.com at one point and remember visiting a shy forum on there. As I recall, that one wasn't very active. So here’s my question to anyone who feels like answering it, but specifically anyone who’s been here for a while and/or made a lot of posts: how has this site affected your life? Let’s hear the story of how you found this place, whether coming here has helped you or hindered you, and how things have changed in your life since then. Even though this is old now, I think this is interesting. So better late than never to post a response. Apparently I joined in July 2004...which means I would have been 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. I found this site just by doing a websearch on shyness/social anxiety. I was really trying to figure myself out at the time. I think by this time, I was out of my most depressive phase ever (which began in Fall '02 I believe) and was starting to become hopeful again...so I started to try and really figure out what was "wrong" with me. I think that this site has affected me positively over the years, particularly in the sense of understanding myself more....and I now definitely realize that I'm not the only one out there, which is helpful. I've learned a lot both about myself and about others through posting here and exchanging ideas. I especially feel I have grown more accepting of myself since then (even though I do still have lot more to work on). I love SU because the vast majority of all who post are very supportive. I can come here and say what's on my mind knowing that I won't be *rejected.* And if it wasn't for this site, I'd be feeling so very alone, especially now. Sometimes, I do wonder, though, if the capability of going online and the capacity of technology is too much of a distraction and an easier avoidance tactic from the *real world*. I've often wondered if I would have taken more social chances had I been born in another time. But, the digital/technology age is what it is...and there's no changing that. Anyway (mushy)...there is a spot in my heart reserved for SU. lol. I'm a fan of any kind of supportive community (online or offline). **By the way...this is now my 1,010th post.
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Post by phoenixferret on Jan 27, 2008 3:04:59 GMT -5
While this site is not all peaches and roses, as you well know, this site definitely helped me a lot. Well, life is not all peaches and roses, lol. If it were, we probably wouldn't be here on a support site. What do you think of this thread then, Ferret? How've you changed? Ah geeze! Things have changed for me at least enough that I came this > < close to deleting chunks of the first post on this thread when I reread it, lol. In general I think what I said in that post is still pretty descriptive of my overall experience, though. Finding this site made me realize that severe shyness does happen to other people, and that it wasn't a matter of being less of a person that caused me to act the way I did (and to some extent still do). That in itself helped me enormously, and it inspired me to start trying to understand what was going on in my head, which was a major step toward really starting to improve. There are still issues I'm still hacking away at, but at this point I think I'm leaning more toward introversion than shyness. One recent incident that made me realize how far I've come was the last time I went to get my hair cut. I've always hated how awkward it is when the hairdresser tries to make conversation and I just sit there giving terse answers and hoping she'll quit trying, lol. I was starting to get tense when I noticed she had a picture of a dog propped up against the mirror. Almost without thinking about it, I asked if it was hers, and we talked about dogs the rest of the time as she chopped away at my head. ;D It felt like a rite of passage or something. Most of the people here are awesome or at the very least interesting to talk to, lol, and I met a close female friend, my first boyfriend, and my now-boyfriend through SU (yes yes, I'm such a skank, lol ). So this site has, as you put it, Strawberry, a very soft place in my heart indeed. Sometimes, I do wonder, though, if the capability of going online and the capacity of technology is too much of a distraction and an easier avoidance tactic from the *real world*. Anytime I start to consider how much time I spend online, I think about the fact that I still kept to myself before I had easy access to the internet--only I read books instead of posting on message boards and browsing Wikipedia and StumbleUpon. In spite of the interaction being "only" virtual, I think the online world has had a more significant positive impact on my life than most of the other things I've found to occupy myself. Thanks to anyone who's replied to this thread! I like hearing all the stories, especially since (whether SU deserves credit or not) it seems like most of us have improved at least somewhat since coming here. That's encouraging!
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Post by annaa on Jan 27, 2008 15:43:31 GMT -5
Ah geeze! Things have changed for me at least enough that I came this > < close to deleting chunks of the first post on this thread when I reread it, lol. In general I think what I said in that post is still pretty descriptive of my overall experience, though. Finding this site made me realize that severe shyness does happen to other people, and that it wasn't a matter of being less of a person that caused me to act the way I did (and to some extent still do). That in itself helped me enormously, and it inspired me to start trying to understand what was going on in my head, which was a major step toward really starting to improve. There are still issues I'm still hacking away at, but at this point I think I'm leaning more toward introversion than shyness. One recent incident that made me realize how far I've come was the last time I went to get my hair cut. I've always hated how awkward it is when the hairdresser tries to make conversation and I just sit there giving terse answers and hoping she'll quit trying, lol. I was starting to get tense when I noticed she had a picture of a dog propped up against the mirror. Almost without thinking about it, I asked if it was hers, and we talked about dogs the rest of the time as she chopped away at my head. ;D It felt like a rite of passage or something. Most of the people here are awesome or at the very least interesting to talk to, lol, and I met a close female friend, my first boyfriend, and my now-boyfriend through SU (yes yes, I'm such a skank, lol ). So this site has, as you put it, Strawberry, a very soft place in my heart indeed. I think it's cool you didn't edit it at all. It's nice to see where you were a while back. I know what you mean about the hairdressers - always a nightmare with me, so I don't usually bother Yeah this site is a good one. I spend a lot of my time online here and I was quite (pleasantly) surprised when I joined at how easy it is to become 'one of you lot'. Some forums are quite clickly and you feel totally unwelcome, but this one isn't like that.
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Post by theinfiniteabyss84 on Jan 27, 2008 22:14:25 GMT -5
Hmmm...I wonder who that could beeeeee....? ;D
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