My One Year Story

[feyish]

I've been "lurking" around here for awhile now and I guess I keep doing this because I have a story to tell that really starts about a year ago. it's really hard to describe everything about the past year all at once, so I'll have to post it in several parts.

Part one: Last December, I discovered internet forums. I live in a rural area, so the internet is basically my window into the rest of the world. On a whim, I typed "shy forums" into Yahoo!. So i found SU and joined.

For so long, I had felt like an outsider. No friends, very quiet, etc. Now I had found a place where I was not an outsider. It was great. I spent hours on the computer. But now I suddenly had something to hide. My parents didn't approve of posting stuff on forums. I had to be very careful. At the same time, I was being rather self-defeating by spending so much time on-line rather than cultivating healthy relationships with the people around me.

[shygirl28]

I'm glad you feel welcomed here. Everybody is really nice.

[feyish]

thanks for the reply.

part two: during the months of january-march (approximatly) i was enjoying SU but not much else. i got paraniod about germs. i hated being around people. i just wanted to stay home all the time.

Now i realize that winter/less sunlight affects my mood. I was mildly depressed and that caused me to get paranoid about stuff.

on the upside, the new semester had allowed me to start a job working for the neighbor. this gave me a little bit of confidence that by having a job, i could be a little more "normal".

[feyish]

here i am again: around May of last year i got some very good advice: don't go to chat rooms and stuff like that. i didn't. i got a lot happier. i got friends. i got off of the computer and got a life.

so here i am again posting this story. but now i strictly limit my SU visits. if i were to give anyone here advice i would say that first, you have to get off of the computer. it may be tempting to shrink away from reality and just "talk" to people on-line, but really, the sun outside is beautiful.

[Sweet Pea]

good for you. ;D

[missfreeme]

its nice to know that you found that out! uve been missing out all of that time ;D

[hoping2overcome]

i've tried to get online less, unfortunately it gets addictive to me because it's easier to talk to people online than in person, and i'm not a fan of the phone at all...

i know for a fact though that if i got online less often that it would help my relationships with people

[feyish]

Winter isn't so Bad: So last fall I got a job at a drugstore. I was really nervous, because I know I don't have the greatest people skills. But it has since worked out great. It has helped me gain confidence and learn to at least act like I'm outgoing and helpful to customers. My co-workers still label me "the quiet one". But I've accepted that it really isn't a bad thing to be quiet. When people ask me why I'm so quiet, I tell them that I'm a listener and they usually understand that some people are talkers and some people are listeners. I'm a listener. I'm okay with that.

[dog]

feyish said:

Winter isn't so Bad: So last fall I got a job at a drugstore. I was really nervous, because I know I don't have the greatest people skills. But it has since worked out great. It has helped me gain confidence and learn to at least act like I'm outgoing and helpful to customers. My co-workers still label me "the quiet one". But I've accepted that it really isn't a bad thing to be quiet. When people ask me why I'm so quiet, I tell them that I'm a listener and they usually understand that some people are talkers and some people are listeners. I'm a listener. I'm okay with that.

Excellent work! Getting a job and interacting with customers in the public can go a long way towards eliminating, or at least putting a dent in, shyness.

Thing about it is you don't have to be an outgoing person to get along well with other people at work. In a business setting, it matters not if you are most well liked person there, only that you can communicate with others.

Too many times people interpret being communicative with people as being friendly and outgoing with them. It does not. It means providing the necessary information on demand. So as long as you can do the job adequately, and show some improvement in the process over time, then few care about your own personal shortcomings, whataver they might be.

Frankly though, i'd be intimidated by working around a lot of medicine all the time, with those long complicated words. I think you're brave for even attempting it, Feyish. And you'll definitely learn a hell of a lot by working there.


And about the internet, well, your parents are right. You definitely need to exercise caution when online, and not step into places that may cause you harm. For some time my parents were nervous about me and my brother being on the internet all the time, being exposed to whatever might come along. They used to check on what i was getting into all the time, when i was a teenager. Mom was worried that i'd be getting into porn or other such sites. And honestly, hehehe, sometimes i did. ;D But mostly i just like read up on things.

And by the way Feyish, i also enjoy being out in the sun. The sun is so filled with warm, life giving rays! I highly recommend being in sunshine as a pleasant activity for everyone here.

[feyish]

Today and Last Week: I quit. i hate driving to the city, 50 minutes away. it makes me feel lonely and lost in a big city. College isn't worth it. what i'm majoring in really doesn't seem to be for me. fine, i'll finish out the semester, but then i'm done.

WOW, that feels good to say. now that i have the beginnings of a social life, i want make time to spend with friends. i can do just fine without college. i like working at the drugstore and i'm going to see if i can sell the crafts that i make and maybe start a small business.

[feyish]

dog said:

And by the way Feyish, i also enjoy being out in the sun. The sun is so filled with warm, life giving rays! I highly recommend being in sunshine as a pleasant activity for everyone here.

early morning is the best! especially after it rains! ;D

[pnoopiepnats]

feyish said:

Today and Last Week: I quit. i hate driving to the city, 50 minutes away. it makes me feel lonely and lost in a big city. College isn't worth it. what i'm majoring in really doesn't seem to be for me. fine, i'll finish out the semester, but then i'm done.

WOW, that feels good to say. now that i have the beginnings of a social life, i want make time to spend with friends. i can do just fine without college. i like working at the drugstore and i'm going to see if i can sell the crafts that i make and maybe start a small business.

I don't know what your major was but I would definitely finish school. A minimum wage job may be fine right now for a kid with very few responsibilities in life but think about 5-10 years from now if you wanted to buy a home or have enough to raise a kid on without your parents footing the bill.

[Midlife Bookworm]

I remember a statistic that compared average incomes over the lifetime for high school graduates versus college graduates ... it worked out that you earned $1,000 for every day you spent in college, I kid you not. OK that is distorted by the megabucks earners but I hope you eventually return to college someday and finish what you started .... even 13 years after completing college when I have forgotten what I learned there almost entirely (haven't read over my textbooks ever since!) I still see jobs that require a graduate. I can appreciate you may just hate college right now but please plan to go back when you feel better.

[feyish]

income has little to do with happieness.

i had just figured out that what i was going to school wasn't for me. if later on i decide i need to go back to school, i'll have a reason for being there. also i've noticed that older (re-entry) students are much more focused and know exactly why they need the degree that they are striving for. there's nothing wrong with going back to school when i NEED to, its just that right now i don't need to.