MY journey To be Free

[missfreeme]

This is a place i want to beable to write down somethings about my day...and keep track of progress that i have made!..
so here goes...
LAst night i hung with this guy sober for the 1st time..so i wasnt all outgoing like i was the other 2 times.
he asked me to tell me about myself..we were sitting face to face and i prettymuch choked!when i did answer it wasnt how i wanted to ..he could see my nervousness and told me i can be relaxed around him!! its not that im scared of him!! its that im scared of him thinking bad things about me. anyways things were going good untill that happend..once he said i can be relaxed i pretty much felt hurt and embarrassed.. amazingly he said that today he wanted to hangout with me..but never called. i just hope its not because he thinks i have no personality and that im shy!

2m im going to try some of the things i learned about how to overcome shyness.. i have class and the teacher freaks me out.. she looks at me like im hinding something. i just hope i can do something to make me proud .atleast talk to someone new and feel relaxed and myself..or just beable to not choke

[missfreeme]

so today i did okay....i walked down the hall from my classroom with my head up and smiled at a stanger and said hello back..although my hello wasnt too loud! i also talked to this guy that i knew ..kinda....um that other guy i was talking about last night sent me a message on myspace saying he wants to see me so i guess me choking up last nite wasnt too bad..i didnt go to see him tho cause i have to study. i still felt today that the ppl i talked to can see through me..!! well thats what happend with my shyness today. i hope 2m is good!

[missfreeme]

today the guy told me on myspace to call him so i did then all he said on the phone was that he has to go to work and he'd talk to me later when he got off...well he sent me message asking what i was doing tonite and i said"there isnt much going on tonite" then he said "well how about me and u 2m" and i said "okay but if im over there at 8 i gota watch my show! AKA greys anatomy...hmmm welll i didnt make a fool out of myself today or anything but when i talked to my teacher i felt like he thought i was weird but i dont know if thats just my thinking or if it is really how i acted. who knows! Im just happy that i didnt choke up today or get all shaky !!
thats alll for 2day

[missfreeme]

im supposed to hang with him but who knows..
i didnt do anything that would make me loook like a shy loser so...lets hope it stays that way!!

[missfreeme]

so i hung out with him fo 30mins on friday..it was nice..
as for shyness i did pretty good.. im hoping to start talking more when there are conversations in class. im gona try i think!..sooner or later ;D

[missfreeme]

ok so ive had some shy slip ups here and there but..for the most part i have been pretty outgoing! my slip ups have mostly been in class....although today i tlked to someppl for a little while! im workin on it and im proud of what how far i have gotten! i can now usually smile at ppl 1st....walk with my head up...not care what alot of ppl think..sometimes...but i really think i have made progress since last journal entry!!! yay to me!