Totally Random

[pnoopiepnats]

She probably put it on a credit card.

[frillow]

^ yes, she did. haha.

Anyhow, heeey again, ppl!!
I haven't been on here for a couple months, but I have returned... I've been kinda bored lately since I just finished working this summer.. I worked as a cashier/csr... it was ok, I guess. And despite how little I talked at work, I actually made some friends -- ones I actually hung out with!!! AMAZING!!! ;D

Anyway, I'll give you guys a better update later.... maybe.

[annaa]

frillow said:

...Anyway, I'll give you guys a better update later.... maybe.

Yeah, please do!

[frillow]

annaa said:

frillow said:

...Anyway, I'll give you guys a better update later.... maybe.

Yeah, please do!

Haha, alright, here is the update... will probably be kinda long.. sorry!!!

This is summer was actually one of the better summers I've had. I worked as a cashier for about two months... I actually did fine - I was SOOOO nervous in the beginning - especially about paging people... but I eventually got over that after the first two weeks.

But I'm still as shy as ever... maybe slightly less... but not by much This summer, my dad has been constantly bugging me to go see a therapist, saying that if I have SA, I need to go see someone about it now.

Anyway, so recently, I've been hanging out with the guys from work... only recently, though. The first month and few weeks, I didn't really hang out or talk much with them. Just all of a sudden, one of the guys from work was bored at home so he called the store. He told me to get another guy at work on the phone (He wanted to see if he was doing anything that weekend).. he was busy.. so... this guy asks me if I was doing anything... and I say no, of course... so then he asks me to hang out with him.

So we eventually hang out.. because I didn't want to regret not saying yes to something that could possibly be fun. The first time we hung out, we ended up playing mini-golf and seeing Harry Potter. It was fun, and surprisingly, I found myself able to talk to him quite easily.

After that, he kept inviting me to do everything with our other coworkers, too... and I must say, I've been having a great time with them. ;D My dad wasn't too excited about that, though.... this is what he said to me a few days ago... "I like that you're making friends and everything... but... these guys? You need to hang out with some girls!"

So... anyway, we (the guy that originally asked me to hang out and I) were at the mall two days ago.. not shopping or anything.. just randomly walking around because we couldn't think of anything else to do.

And then he asks me, "So what's up with us?"
My response, "What do you mean.. us?"
He says, "You know.. this hanging out... girlfriend.. boyfriend.. or just friends..."
So I get really nervous and respond with an "Oh... I don't know..."
Then he says, "You know, you're pretty... you're nice... you're funny... you're the coolest girl I've ever met. I really like you, and I'd like to be more than just friends."
I just reply with an "Umm... ok".

He told me to give him a response when he calls later.... eeeek.

Ok.. so that's... that. haha.


OH, and I have a random story about going to the grocery store with my dad yesterday:

My dad and I went to the grocery store at around 10:00 pm (so there weren't many employees or customers around). Anyway, we were passing the cookie/donut area, and we see this really tall/skinny guy taking a cookie and eating it right there.

Next, I see the guy a few minutes later drinking a can of coke (he did not have this can before).

Lastly, we are walking past the frozen food section... and we see the guy opening a box... and eating that frozen food right there!!! Yuck!!!

I really wanted to tell one of the employees, but I felt bad for the guy, as well.

Anyway, that's the story.

So... now, I am leaving for my cousin's wedding in San Francisco August 1.. then I go back to college August 10... and classes start Aug 20. Ugh.. I dont want to go back to college.... that's a scary thought... especially since I'm transferring schools and will probably be like a freshman again...

Anyway, I think I am done typing now... if you read all of that.... wow... err.. yay...

[annaa]

Yes, I did read it all Frillow lol.

That's fantastic that you have been hanging out with people from work. I personally would find it more difficult to hang out with guys than I would other girls (a lot of people on SU would agree; the opposite sex causes us a lot of anxiety).
And it's safe to assume you and that guy are an item now..?

The story about people eating stuff in the shop was random, but hey, that's what the thread's about.

Enjoy your cousin's wedding, and good luck with (the new) college.

[frillow]

annaa said:

Yes, I did read it all Frillow lol.

That's fantastic that you have been hanging out with people from work. I personally would find it more difficult to hang out with guys than I would other girls (a lot of people on SU would agree; the opposite sex causes us a lot of anxiety).
And it's safe to assume you and that guy are an item now..?

The story about people eating stuff in the shop was random, but hey, that's what the thread's about.

Enjoy your cousin's wedding, and good luck with (the new) college.

I agree, it is harder to hang out with people of the opposite sex... in fact, hanging out with the guys from work is the FIRST time I have ever really hung out with guys... and it wasn't easy or anything, I was REALLY nervous at the beginning with all of them.. most of that nervousness just went away after a while... but I still feel awkward with them at times.

Oh, and the other guy and I are not an item.. I gave him an "I dont know" answer when he asked again. I dont think I will say yes.. he's nice and all.... but he's just too different than I am... at first, I thought I'd give it a chance, but when I REALLY thought about it, I've realized he is really not the type of guy I'd want to go out with at all.

And thanks for the luck at college! I will definitely need it!

[annaa]

Frillow - Stop beating yourself up over making a bad decision. You were not "dumb" and it wasn't a "stupid decision". You had no idea that it would work out the way it has, did you?
It sounds like you were pressured in to going there (by your family). If I were you i'd see how things go for a little while longer and if it still isn't right, then go somewhere you want to go. It's all very well people telling you you're "crazy", but they're not the ones who are living your life or dealing with the consequences of the decisions being made.
*As for your stomach, that doesn't sound like much fun. Maybe it's stress related?

[frillllow]

I finally went to see some psychologists... two different ones ... one on Monday, one on Tuesday.
(But the first one actually turned out to be a social worker, not a psychologist...)

So, this is a random post about how that was.
The first person I went to was.... not very good, at least for my problem, it seemed.

She didn't seem to understand much about what I was trying to say, and I left feeling REALLY frustrated and angry.

One thing that really annoyed me was that she said I should tell people I am shy when I meet them, and she seemed to think that it would solve everything. I've done that before.. it doesn't help. Sure, other people might try to be more sensitive or nicer... but in my experiences, it just does not do much, as a lot of people aren't very understanding and simply don't care. If I tell people I'm shy, they will still tell me to talk more and ask the "Why are you so quiet" questions. It doesn't help being really nervous, either.

Another thing that really annoyed me was that when she asked me if I felt or thought a certain way, sometimes when I said no, she would respond with a lot of "REALLY?! You NEVER felt that way??" as if it was really surprising and as if she didn't believe what I was saying.

She also cut me off once when I was trying to explain something.
I did not like it at all.

However, the 2nd person I went to was great, since he specializes in social anxiety and all that. I actually wrote out a few pages of what life is like for me and what I felt and thought because I realized after going to the first person, it was kind of hard to address what I wanted to. After reading what I wrote, inputting his own stories of having social anxiety, and asking me a few questions, he told me that he was positive that I have Social Anxiety Disorder. He said every single thing I wrote was purely social anxiety.

He said group therapy for people that only have social anxiety is the most effective. He said he tries to make his sessions as comfortable as possible, does things very gradually, and never forces anyone to say something, etc. So, I think I'm going to start group therapy stuff in September. I really like the idea of meeting people who are all afraid of doing the same things and people that understand each other.. and hey, I'll probably make some friends (since I don't really have any in my area).. and since cbt seems to work, why not?

Also, he told me to call him back with my decision to do it or not, or if I wanted to ask him any other questions and then asked, "Or is email easier for you?" That made me smile, haha.

Anyway, I shall see how that goes...

Overall, I felt the 2nd person I went to was A LOT better. I left feeling feeling a lot more hopeful.

[annaa]

That first person doesn't sound helpful at all. It's like she has a percieved idea of what your problem is before she's even talked to you.. and anything you say that goes against her idea is disreguarded.

Aaanyway.. glad you found the second person helpful. The asking if e-mail is preferred it spot-on what you need, I think.

[Sweet Pea]

this is the reason i've always been more interested in psychology than social work. psychology is interested in the individual. social work is more about fitting you into society. generally speaking, of course.