Mini bio thread

[Total Biscuit]

I don't know if this has been done before here, but I was wondering how people here feel about and/or deal with their shy situations. While it is possible to sort of get to know about a lot of people through their various posts, I thought about making one place where members can post a mini summary about their issues.

Note: This is not for whole life stories, just the shy parts.

I'll start.

My main problem is in finding things to talk about. I can work up the courage to approach people, but after a "hello", I pretty much blank out. Even with my close friends, I let them carry the conversation and I occasionally make a comment. Once they run out of things to say, the interaction stalls. I smile nervously a lot and project a shy image so that people don't feel that I'm just being unfriendly. I don't think I have had an uninteresting life - I have travelled quite a bit and I'm always game for a random activity. I just don't know how to tell stories about what I've done. My inability to actually talk to people is the reason I've never had a girlfriend. I found out the hard way that you can't just spend weeks working up the courage and then ask someone out. You have to actually let them get to know you first.
I also don't like people - I don't really know how to put this - seeing what I'm doing. Like exercise, although sport is okay; writing or fixing something, I stop until they go away; reading, they can see me reading but if they read over my shoulder or something I get freaked out.

Anyway, there is a synopsis of my anxieties.
What are yours?

[annaa]

This is a good idea.

I can relate to what you mean about not wanting people watching you do stuff. When I know somebody is watching something i'm doing, I tend to mess it up. That of course, just makes me more anxious next time.

Here's mine;

From as far back as I can remember, I was very shy around adults, including extended family members.
However when I was with kids my own age, I was really outgoing and popular (with boys and girls). I was chosen by my classmates to be the class representative three years in a row.
Things changed when I moved to a different school at the age of 10. For a few reasons I was bullied and had some rough experiences.
When I went to Secondary School things went from bad to worse. I was bullied worse than ever, and intimidated by people my own age. I've always been very sensitive and easily hurt by other people (cared too much) so the name-calling/bitching/rumours eventually led to me getting diagnosed with depression at about 13 years old.
For the rest of my compulsory education I had home tuition. The situation reversed and I found myself very able to talk to "adults", but absolutely terrified of other teens.
That situation pretty much is where I am now. Though now I have additional anxieties about talking to people of the opposite sex and that general "getting to know someone" stage.

So yeah, that's my shy bio.

[theinfiniteabyss84]

My story is almost the opposite of your story Anna. I was always comfortable around adults (usually teachers, not relatives) and very uncomfortable around people my own age. I never felt like I could relate to people my own age. Even around my cousins I would feel odd because they would act outgoingly and, well, kid like I didn't. I was like that all during grade school. I never wanted to be in a clique which meant I was unpopular and people let you know that. That is when I started hearing "why are you so quiet?" "are you always this quiet?" "do you ever talk?" and it made me feel like there is was something wrong with me.

In high school I kept to myself the first two years. Junior year I got a little better and Senior year was abnormally amazing. This is when I learned that I might be an interesting and funny person if I break out of my shell. This one guy that was in most of my classes started talking to me, he talked to everyone and since we had almost every class together including lunch he talked to me and then I started to talking to other people then I had friends then people actually knew who I was.

Then I graduated and saw none of them again.

In college I felt the overwhelming feeling of nervousness and anxiety and shyness around people my own age. I think if I saw those people more often I would have been better.

The "getting to know you" stage is so awkward. I think it takes a while to get to know me and a lot of people don't want to take the time and find out. And there is the whole "talking to the opposite sex" thing too...does this ever go away?!?!?!?!