Post by gaia on Apr 12, 2008 21:08:35 GMT -5
I'm Anna.
After some persuasion from some good SU people, i'm back and i'd really like to clarify a few things.
The unkind thing I said before I left wasn't directed specifically at a Moderator, but I definately can see it might have looked like that. It was a general comment 'to whom it may concern'.
Not that that makes it alright... it was a harsh thing to say. I was incredibly wound up but that's no excuse - i'm sorry.
People don't want a bad atmosphere on the forum and I can appriciate that.
My beliefs are something that I will defend at all costs.
It might appear that i'm rigid. That i'm trying to persuade people to my way of thinking - but i'm not.
All i'm saying is "That is my opinion. Don't undermine it and don't tell me that deep down, my intentions probably aren't even true.. I know my own mind.".
What upset me particularly was being told i'm "screwing people up"... Please, don't ever tell me that again.
Just because one person may find what I say totally useless/destructive, it doesn't mean that another won't find it helpful.
Different people respond better to different methods of advice.
I like to embrace a "softly does it" approach and my main sentiment is that people should never be made to feel as though the way there are will never be good enough.
However I can see how the harsher approach can be quite helpful to some people too.
By telling someone they're going to have to change themselves dramatically in order to get what they want, I can see how it could potentially lead them onto a path of self-improvement.
It could give them that 'kick up the ass' they need to become a stronger, better person.
However it could also potentially break them. It could potentially make them lose all faith in themselves completely - i've seen it happen. It's a risk that I don't think is ever worth taking (personally speaking).
Still, doesn't mean it's any less valid to some.
So anyway... how to stop the arguements?
The individual concerned (MrNice) who is always at the centre of the drama, along with me, needs to acknowledge we have very different ideas.. That's the easy part.
The next step I believe is to have some mutual respect. We just have to agree to disagree.
That means that if you see something I say that you think is BS (and vice versa) don't comment on it.
Just ignore it. Rather than rip apart the post, make your own - and make it "better", if you will.
As a (bad) analogy - rival stores don't go and ruin eachothers stock... they bring in new items in order to persuade people to come to them...
Indeed... "leave Anna alone".
I apologise to anyone i've upset and if you've actually read all of this (long) post - thank you.
After some persuasion from some good SU people, i'm back and i'd really like to clarify a few things.
The unkind thing I said before I left wasn't directed specifically at a Moderator, but I definately can see it might have looked like that. It was a general comment 'to whom it may concern'.
Not that that makes it alright... it was a harsh thing to say. I was incredibly wound up but that's no excuse - i'm sorry.
People don't want a bad atmosphere on the forum and I can appriciate that.
My beliefs are something that I will defend at all costs.
It might appear that i'm rigid. That i'm trying to persuade people to my way of thinking - but i'm not.
All i'm saying is "That is my opinion. Don't undermine it and don't tell me that deep down, my intentions probably aren't even true.. I know my own mind.".
What upset me particularly was being told i'm "screwing people up"... Please, don't ever tell me that again.
Just because one person may find what I say totally useless/destructive, it doesn't mean that another won't find it helpful.
Different people respond better to different methods of advice.
I like to embrace a "softly does it" approach and my main sentiment is that people should never be made to feel as though the way there are will never be good enough.
However I can see how the harsher approach can be quite helpful to some people too.
By telling someone they're going to have to change themselves dramatically in order to get what they want, I can see how it could potentially lead them onto a path of self-improvement.
It could give them that 'kick up the ass' they need to become a stronger, better person.
However it could also potentially break them. It could potentially make them lose all faith in themselves completely - i've seen it happen. It's a risk that I don't think is ever worth taking (personally speaking).
Still, doesn't mean it's any less valid to some.
So anyway... how to stop the arguements?
The individual concerned (MrNice) who is always at the centre of the drama, along with me, needs to acknowledge we have very different ideas.. That's the easy part.
The next step I believe is to have some mutual respect. We just have to agree to disagree.
That means that if you see something I say that you think is BS (and vice versa) don't comment on it.
Just ignore it. Rather than rip apart the post, make your own - and make it "better", if you will.
As a (bad) analogy - rival stores don't go and ruin eachothers stock... they bring in new items in order to persuade people to come to them...
Indeed... "leave Anna alone".
I apologise to anyone i've upset and if you've actually read all of this (long) post - thank you.
....and he also never seems to be able to admit when he is wrong. 
