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Post by respectful on Mar 1, 2006 1:39:55 GMT -5
This question has helped me a lot............ (considering how much you have been left with)
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Post by respectful on Mar 1, 2006 6:25:06 GMT -5
vital
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Post by MrNice on Mar 1, 2006 14:59:15 GMT -5
i am learning to say no more often I just turned down two job offers and I am very happy about it in the past I would have probably accepted one of them
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Post by respectful on Mar 1, 2006 19:24:30 GMT -5
That reminds me of what my doctor said to me........ " do things on your terms"
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Post by angrycroc on Mar 6, 2006 22:44:48 GMT -5
I have made tremendous progress. Just a year ago I was afraid to leave the house and would stay home for almost weeks at a time. Now I have a job where I have to deal with lots of people everyday(probably my biggest help). Also try to hang out with my friends when I can and try to talk to strangers. Even managed to get the guts to call up a girl I used to know
I'm still not happy though. I still feel a little bit below normal. Still am not close to getting a girlfriend. I feel like I've reached a plateau
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Post by respectful on Mar 7, 2006 17:03:49 GMT -5
Quote from "Mutiny on the Bounty" "Don't think of how far you have to go, think how far you have come" (Cpt Bligh said this to his men when they were rowing/sailing to land after being mutineered) I think it's great to think of how far one has come, even if you can list three things say that you have achieved already. I also think people need challenges, but so many people/books and advice focus on doing better and better. "You have to change your life, or you just have to do more and more."I have hardly read or heard of anyone mentioning this vital consideration of realizing how far you have come already. Even if one was to achieve all their goals but didn't value what they have "now" , they will not magically somehow achieve this sense of satisfaction, in fact they will just continue to want more and more. (I have met many who are high achievers - and they are never really content with anything - if fact they are always deluding themselves with that rainbow over the horizon. I think that there is much to be gained in being content with a few things that you have achieved even if they are "small" and also having realistic challenges which mean a lot to you. I have a saying: " How to halve your success - Don't appreciate what you have achieved already" . .
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Post by angrycroc on Mar 7, 2006 22:19:03 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice respectful
It just seems like my progress is getting more and more difficult. I guess at the same time though things that i once thought were hard now seem easy(like saying "hi, hows it going?" to strangers)
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Post by respectful on Mar 8, 2006 1:27:12 GMT -5
" ...I guess at the same time though things that i once thought were hard now seem easy..." This seemingly insignificance is really quite important. I sometimes miss these things, and I forget the subtleties of improvements/gains - which as you say - you once thought were hard It's often the little things that are the most potent and satisfying which are missed in the haste of this life. Even a wave or a nod can be a comfort to someone.......... I can't always do this after what I have been through, but I don't chide myself for it as much as I used to - I am more likely to despatch such a thought by saying to myself ....... "Well what do they expect after the way I have been treated" All interesting
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Post by nats on Mar 8, 2006 6:18:37 GMT -5
I think i've come pretty far recently. This time last year I was not long in uni, i had few friends within uni, and only really one other friend. I went out rarely and only with that friend and her college friends, which was usually quite akward and not that much fun cause i didn't know them and they were all loud dancer types. Last year i had had two not proper boyfriends in my life, on who i didn't like much and one when i was 10 which doesn't really count. I had only kissed one boy. This year i have quite a few friends, have had a sort of boyfriend, plenty of kisses The only thing that hasn't improved in my life is that i get really depressed now and i never used to, plus my dedication to uni seems to be slipping.
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Post by respectful on Mar 9, 2006 18:31:41 GMT -5
. ..."The only thing that hasn't improved in my life is that i get really depressed now and i never used to..." My Father took out his very deep hurts on me, and the rest of the family, except my mother. I wasn't even allowed to look depressed or sorrowful, so with all this my upbringing and later years has been a nightmare - really horrid. I think differently about depression now, sometimes I question myself, - do I feel down or is it sorrowful? I've learnt later in my life that I had to go through times of grief and sorrow - this has been very supportive to me. It has really helped me to come to terms with many things - I am stronger for it now. As far as depression goes it's some little thing that helps me get out of it, but often after having to ride through it first. Being conscientious I always tried to please my Father but to no avail.............. I always thought highly of him, but he did a lot of damage to me without knowing it. ( I was determined to bring up a family who would always have my respect - and it has worked ) Hope that helps - even expressing things here has helped me. .
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Post by Happy_Happy_Joy_Joy on Mar 10, 2006 7:22:16 GMT -5
I think I've made pretty good progress, I try to talk more to my friends and don't have much problems talking to teachers, but i'm hopeless at class discussions......i'm not good at talking on the spot.
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Post by respectful on Mar 12, 2006 0:22:16 GMT -5
I have found my level, and I operate from there. (That can be pretty humbling)
I guess discussing a particular area in a subject which you have researched well would give you added confidence...
Just a thought - but it doesn't mean you would need to expect to be involved in class discussions.
What's that saying "to be forearmed is to be well prepared" - something like that.
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Post by annaa on Mar 27, 2006 17:26:14 GMT -5
Well I did stop caring, and was doing really well not caring. But I had a relapse.
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Post by respectful on Mar 28, 2006 2:01:58 GMT -5
Does that mean your kindness was being exploited?
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Post by Stranger on Mar 28, 2006 9:30:04 GMT -5
This question has helped me a lot............ (considering how much you have been left with) I've come a long way. Backwards. I started a new job a week ago. I quite like it there. I used to work for a huge, money-obsessed behemoth - totally not my thing - and joined this small friendly group of battlers. Fun, interesting people. All good. And having identified and thought about my shyness problems for a month before this, I was eager to get out there and confront them. I even went alone to a small meetup and to an old friend's party on Friday night. But that whole week I was more shy and awkward than I've ever been before. And now that I think about it, it's really been a lifelong trend. As a preteen I was reasonably outgoing. In fact, I think I was an obnoxious brat. Then I was struck by a bolt of self-consciousness (thank God!). Over time, I grew progressively and steadily more quiet, introverted, and distant. Now at 24, I feel so far away from the world I can't ever really imagine making contact again. I dread to think where I'll be at 30. I'm kinda worried, to be honest.
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