|
Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 17, 2007 23:43:58 GMT -5
I think the really young, naive, insecure girls may respond well to that nonsense. well, that's what most men seem to want...so there's a win win...
|
|
|
Post by phoenixferret on Sept 18, 2007 0:06:58 GMT -5
making yourself seem like an idiot is why shy guys never open their mouth cocky funny is better then what a shy guy usually comes up with, its a step in the right direction. Whether "cocky/funny" is actually better than saying nothing is pretty subjective. Can you give an example of a cocky funny joke or comment that you personally have used? I've run into cocky/"funny" guys before, though only one of them I know was trying to hit on me, and he did it to eeevvery girl, lol. It does seem to be a little hard to explain what it is exactly, but it seems to be a kind of ribbing technique..? Like they'll pick up on your faults and tease you about them, ostensibly in a playful way. My personal gripe, however, is that while the ribbing may be playful--like a cat "playing" with a mouse--it isn't really *friendly,* and the personality the technique alludes to is not one I find attractive. I really have no desire to get to know anyone who highlights my vulnerabilities--even if wittily and with a grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye--while walling himself up safe with arrogance. Playful, mutual teasing is a lot of fun in flirting and in friendly banter alike--but there is a difference, and the "cocky" part makes it clear which side cocky/funny technique favors. In a bookstore this past summer, I picked up one of those cocky/funny bibles and saw a few of the suggested conversation-starters. I only remember two: "Is that a wig? Oh, well it looks nice, anyway," and, "you have man hands." Fun stuff. From what I understand, the goal of that kind of line is to get the girl wanting to smack you, but simultaneously intrigued by your audaciousness--because anything that makes you stand out is supposedly a point in your favor, and getting a girl to hit you on the arm is a great first step toward getting in her pants. If the recipient is a cocky girl, herself, she may not even bat an eyelash--and maybe that's the whole point: that cocky/funny is supposed to be geared toward girls that *know* they're hot stuff, as the dating gurus often seem to readily admit. Because if you're an ordinary person, I think it wears you down a bit. The ribbing gets old, and the arrogance makes the cocky/funny guy frustratingly impervious to any attempts to turn the tables or even up the score, so to speak. The whole idea of cocky/funny seems based in the idea that the male should strut and stomp and dominate, and the female will be gigglingly helpless in the face of so much unfettered manliness. And there are girls that will think the arrogance is sexy, and that the needling jokes are signs of sultry bravado... but personally, I'm not one of them. Women on forums like this talk about how they would hardly spare a word of conversation for a cocky/funny type of guy, and the guys always respond, then why does it work? It "works" because cocky/funny appeals to a certain, specific group of women—not to the ones rolling their eyes and averring that it doesn’t work, so no, I don’t think it’s a case of “women don’t know what they like.” It's just like being cute and geeky appeals to a certain type; just like being a girlfriend-beating jerk tends to attract certain women most often. That's something a guy might want to think about before rushing out to double any dating--will cocky/funny actually draw the kind of women you *want* to date? (If I’m misinterpreting the concept of cocky/funny, maybe someone with access to Double Your Dating or similar would be willing to paraphrase a few examples to give us all a better idea.)
|
|
|
Post by Paulinus on Sept 18, 2007 6:44:09 GMT -5
Think I've finally got the hang of this cocky funny lark: Hey ladies *gets coat*
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 18, 2007 22:07:32 GMT -5
I don't think most men want young, naive, insecure girls. I always get the impression they want confident, experienced girls. well, i guess all these descriptors are relative depending on the degree to which they are possessed by the evaluator.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Sept 19, 2007 2:18:07 GMT -5
I don't think most men want young, naive, insecure girls. I always get the impression they want confident, experienced girls. Some do. But i for one tend to prefer quieter, less intimidating girls that have sense, and don't mind the fact that i hate spending money.
|
|
|
Post by HybridMoment on Sept 19, 2007 12:20:34 GMT -5
Think I've finally got the hang of this cocky funny lark: Hey ladies *gets coat*Now you're ready for some young naive hot chicks.
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 19, 2007 16:53:58 GMT -5
Think I've finally got the hang of this cocky funny lark: Hey ladies *gets coat*Now you're ready for some young naive hot chicks. cheep cheep!
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 19, 2007 16:54:35 GMT -5
I don't think most men want young, naive, insecure girls. I always get the impression they want confident, experienced girls. Some do. But i for one tend to prefer quieter, less intimidating girls that have sense, and don't mind the fact that i hate spending money. cheap cheap! ;D
|
|
|
Post by porcelainalabaster on Sept 20, 2007 0:55:23 GMT -5
It works to get a girl interested, 100% i've done it many times eventhough i have severe social anxiety. One big problem, it will get a girl interested and seeing you as a possible sexual partner but there's more. Once you have piqued her interest you need to show her your value by having stories etc. but because of my severe social anxiety and what may be agoraphobia I don't get out much and don't have much to talk about when they tell their stories. Which leads to uncomfortable silence when they share a mini-story and expect you to keep on the convo and you respond with a half-ass comment or some off topic thing cause u can't keep it going. I know I could create fake stories etc. and that they would get me a lot further but I'm scared of not being convincing or like saying "oh I was there and this happened" and then if they say "oh yeah i been there what do you think of the..." and I don't have an answer. So any suggesting of creating good fake stories to demonstrate higher value will be appreciated.
|
|
|
Post by primal on Dec 21, 2007 16:25:22 GMT -5
well I wouldn't use all his lines...especially some cross over the line- overly cocky. But his premise is correct- when you are "cocky and funny", you can make yourself out to seem like a fun and confident guy. you can make yourself seem like an idiot too. while i was out running errands in my car today, i was sitting and waiting to turn out of a parking lot. some guy drove close by me, rolled his window down and shouted, "hey, baby! how ya doin'?" in this cheesy exaggerated fake-sexy voice. never seen him before in my life. yeah...i did laugh...while i was shaking my head and driving away. i can't believe that kinda thing works for anyone. That isn't something David DeAngelo would encourage at all. For a start, as you said, it isn't funny. The cocky side of it isn't about boasting, more about using it as a source of humour. As long as you're joking, its obvious you're not being arrogant. Its just being playful and flirtatious. (If I’m misinterpreting the concept of cocky/funny, maybe someone with access to Double Your Dating or similar would be willing to paraphrase a few examples to give us all a better idea.) I remember a girl asked me why how come I don't have a girlfriend. So i told her it was because I had so many girls that it would be unfair on the others if i picked one. It was obvious I wasn't serious, so she thought it was funny, and it elicited a better response then "oh im shy and don't get out much". She probably knew the latter was more correct, but that I was confident enough to say what I did rather than focus on the negative is what she liked. The things you quoted (about the wig, etc.) I would classify as negs, where you pick up on their insecurities. Different than Cocky & Funny. Negs are only for playboy playmates; unless you want a slap in the face.
|
|