|
Post by sadgirl on Aug 12, 2008 2:10:44 GMT -5
I'm new at this site, and I’m a shy person who may have lost her last hope. I’ve been fighting a hard shy battle my whole life.
I'm like two forces working against each other. One strong with a positive view on life, who is stubborn and refuse to give up all the dreams that I have, and also believe that I can do the thing I want to do. With that side I manage to begin the things. But then after a while the other force takes in. The much, much, much stronger one. The shy and scared and sad one who don't believe in anything and always talks the other one down. When that happens I step in to a self-created shell that I had my whole life. And inside that shell I walk around on autopilot doing what I have to do to survive but nothing more. Still sad and lonely and angry that I didn't managed to do it and everything feels really, really heavy and all I want to do is sleep or die.
At the moment I'm studying at a university, but I'm very, very close to giving up. Just as I have done with all other things I started in my life. Because I can't make any new friends and because I have no confidence in myself I'm having a hard time learning anything. But if I quit this time too I know that I never will try anything again… I’m too tired too sad.
this time I have absolutely no idea what to do....
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Aug 12, 2008 9:09:59 GMT -5
I'm new at this site, and I’m a shy person who may have lost her last hope. I’ve been fighting a hard shy battle my whole life. I'm like two forces working against each other. One strong with a positive view on life, who is stubborn and refuse to give up all the dreams that I have, and also believe that I can do the thing I want to do. With that side I manage to begin the things. But then after a while the other force takes in. The much, much, much stronger one. The shy and scared and sad one who don't believe in anything and always talks the other one down. When that happens I step in to a self-created shell that I had my whole life. And inside that shell I walk around on autopilot doing what I have to do to survive but nothing more. Still sad and lonely and angry that I didn't managed to do it and everything feels really, really heavy and all I want to do is sleep or die. At the moment I'm studying at a university, but I'm very, very close to giving up. Just as I have done with all other things I started in my life. Because I can't make any new friends and because I have no confidence in myself I'm having a hard time learning anything. But if I quit this time too I know that I never will try anything again… I’m too tired too sad. this time I have absolutely no idea what to do.... i'm sorry you're feeling so discouraged. that's not a fun place to be in. having goals in life is a good thing & can help keep you moving in a positive direction, but when they become something to beat yourself up with there's not much point. obviously, if you're studying at a university you have a track record of accomplishing your goals...otherwise you wouldn't be there at all. from what you've written here, what you seem to be dealing with is a habit of negative thinking...particularly about yourself. breaking a bad habit is much easier than becoming an accomplished and capable person (which you already are), so that's the good news. from what you've stated here, there isn't anything preventing you from accomplishing your goals except you yourself. focus on being your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy, and achieving your goals in life will be much much easier. as far as friends go, just treat that as a goal like any other. if you want friends, make a plan to achieve that. break it down into baby steps and start taking them one at a time. work on your defeatist self-talk. refuse to be a self put-down artist. above all, don't let life become a grind. identify things that you enjoy doing, and do them regularly. it's too easy for students to forget to smell the roses along the way. each day do some small thing for yourself purely for your own pleasure. this will help renew your spirit and strength, and bolster your self-esteem.
|
|
|
Post by strawberrysweetie on Aug 19, 2008 2:02:46 GMT -5
I can relate to much of what you said. It's definitely extremely hard to concentrate with so much worrying. And I also hit lots of low moments where I just want to give up on everything I'm doing. I'm not really sure what's keeping me going, though.
But I think Sweet Pea offered some good advice. Changing habits and ways of thinking can be a very difficult process. It won't happen overnight, but little by little it can be improved.
|
|