Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 4, 2008 5:14:12 GMT -5
Man Seeking Woman
SWM seeks emotionally unavailable commitment-phobe for short term relationship. Must be willing to lead me on to the moon and send me back crashing to earth without fair notice. Please be into dangerous recreational drugs and kooky fad diets. Low self esteem and daddy issues are definitely a plus. Please reply by saying you'll call and then never doing it.
Wanted: Emotionally clingy, mood swinging and highly demanding woman who will remake me in her own image.She must tell me how to dress, what to say and with whom to play. She must be a wild she cat in bed for the first 3 months, just lie there the next 3 months and have sex with me once a year after we are married. She must quit her job, move in with me and redecorate my apartment within the first 6 weeks of dating. She must banish all sports, porn and beer from my life in order to make me a better man. We must watch the Lifetime Channel together in order to understand how badly all men mistreat all women.
If you're the women for me, I'm yours. Call or text me at 555-1212.
Woman Seeking Man
Are you a fundamentally selfish man who has trouble empathizing with others? Have you experienced some childhood trauma that has rendered you unable to feel deeply, open yourself to others, and communicate? Perfect - let’s get together! You’ll have a great time – I will give you my time, effort, love, gifts, body, and attention (almost without limit) and you can give me little in return. You won’t have to give me any explicit indication of your feelings for me, be vulnerable with me, work to deepen our relationship, or tell me whether you see a future together. You can give me few or no gifts, after the first month or two you won’t have to plan any special or romantic dates with me, and certainly don’t worry about complimenting me regularly or giving me flowers! I will pride myself on being so low-maintenance as to not need such silly affectionate gestures. I will, in fact, take responsibility for many of those things, spending money and effort making our relationship special for you, hoping of course that my love and generosity will heal your past hurts and unlock your heart so that you will finally appreciate me and start doing all those affectionate things for me. No matter how callous or uncaring your behavior may become, my idealism and optimism will still have me thinking the best of you and making excuses for you to friends and family. I will put up with you for months, or even years, until you unceremoniously dump me (possibly after having cheated on me!). And when that happens, I will blame myself for us not working out. It’s a no-risk proposition for you – what are you waiting for?
Wanted: Emotionally buttoned-up, insecure “Marlboro Man”. The more clammed up you are, the more you hate “using your words”, the more you resist communication, the better! Keep me guessing what hidden gem you are protecting with your silence – I’ll love it! Be selfish and don’t show interest in me as a person. Be totally certain that you are right and everyone else is wrong; always have an answer and always know what to do. Your authoritative “strength” will make me feel safe even if you’re criticizing what I think or believe. Be relentlessly cheerful and insist you are happy all the time – don’t show frustration, anger, upset… nevermind insecurity, fear, or anxiety. I’ll find your aloofness sexy. Don’t ever let me in to your real thoughts and feelings – always keep me at arm’s length. That way I will want you even more. Don’t remember anniversaries, don’t be sentimental, don’t give me gifts, don’t share with me any vulnerable moments, and don’t talk about a future together. In doing so, you’ll have me forever.
SWM seeks emotionally unavailable commitment-phobe for short term relationship. Must be willing to lead me on to the moon and send me back crashing to earth without fair notice. Please be into dangerous recreational drugs and kooky fad diets. Low self esteem and daddy issues are definitely a plus. Please reply by saying you'll call and then never doing it.
Wanted: Emotionally clingy, mood swinging and highly demanding woman who will remake me in her own image.She must tell me how to dress, what to say and with whom to play. She must be a wild she cat in bed for the first 3 months, just lie there the next 3 months and have sex with me once a year after we are married. She must quit her job, move in with me and redecorate my apartment within the first 6 weeks of dating. She must banish all sports, porn and beer from my life in order to make me a better man. We must watch the Lifetime Channel together in order to understand how badly all men mistreat all women.
If you're the women for me, I'm yours. Call or text me at 555-1212.
Woman Seeking Man
Are you a fundamentally selfish man who has trouble empathizing with others? Have you experienced some childhood trauma that has rendered you unable to feel deeply, open yourself to others, and communicate? Perfect - let’s get together! You’ll have a great time – I will give you my time, effort, love, gifts, body, and attention (almost without limit) and you can give me little in return. You won’t have to give me any explicit indication of your feelings for me, be vulnerable with me, work to deepen our relationship, or tell me whether you see a future together. You can give me few or no gifts, after the first month or two you won’t have to plan any special or romantic dates with me, and certainly don’t worry about complimenting me regularly or giving me flowers! I will pride myself on being so low-maintenance as to not need such silly affectionate gestures. I will, in fact, take responsibility for many of those things, spending money and effort making our relationship special for you, hoping of course that my love and generosity will heal your past hurts and unlock your heart so that you will finally appreciate me and start doing all those affectionate things for me. No matter how callous or uncaring your behavior may become, my idealism and optimism will still have me thinking the best of you and making excuses for you to friends and family. I will put up with you for months, or even years, until you unceremoniously dump me (possibly after having cheated on me!). And when that happens, I will blame myself for us not working out. It’s a no-risk proposition for you – what are you waiting for?
Wanted: Emotionally buttoned-up, insecure “Marlboro Man”. The more clammed up you are, the more you hate “using your words”, the more you resist communication, the better! Keep me guessing what hidden gem you are protecting with your silence – I’ll love it! Be selfish and don’t show interest in me as a person. Be totally certain that you are right and everyone else is wrong; always have an answer and always know what to do. Your authoritative “strength” will make me feel safe even if you’re criticizing what I think or believe. Be relentlessly cheerful and insist you are happy all the time – don’t show frustration, anger, upset… nevermind insecurity, fear, or anxiety. I’ll find your aloofness sexy. Don’t ever let me in to your real thoughts and feelings – always keep me at arm’s length. That way I will want you even more. Don’t remember anniversaries, don’t be sentimental, don’t give me gifts, don’t share with me any vulnerable moments, and don’t talk about a future together. In doing so, you’ll have me forever.
