I know this isnt going to help my situation I just need to put something down. I am so bored of being bored. If I'm not at work I'm either online or watching a dvd. I take pleasure in nothing these days, not feeling any highs or lows - just nothing. I cant regulate the things that I do and they end up taking over and becoming obsessions. I'm constantly looking to buy things to fill a void that I know they wont fill. I'm lonely and lack the will to reach out and make a connection with people. I long to make a massive change in my life but I have no motivation, and even when I do, I'm not sure what to do.
It's funny, at school the teacher used to say I was easily led, and I was, I still am, but I laughed alot more back then. Now, at work - I am a Team Leader ... and I can fulfil that role because I know what the goals of the day are. But in my life, I have no goals, no hopes or dreams, so I do nothing. I look for instant pleasure (long term pain) rather than battling on, aiming for the long term pleasure (short term pain). So here I am - bored of DVDs, the internet, my own company and the four walls that surround me, unsure of which path to take, feeling completely numb.
no goals? set goals. give yourself a good talking to. kick yourself in the ass. you know what you are doing is dysfunctional. force yourself out of your rut. and let me know if you need any help with that kick in the ass thing.
Post by deadendphilosopher on Nov 10, 2008 12:50:29 GMT -5
I understand that numb feeling. It's kind of like being half dead. When I feel like that, for motivation I tell myself I have hit rock bottom, and the only place to go is up. I think Sweet Pea had good advice to set goals. Is there anything that excites you? Anything you would want to do or experience in life if there were no obstacles? How would you ideally like to feel?
Life has some very exciting, meaningful, and fulfilling dimensions one can entirely forget about when one is feeling numb. Dimensions that make life well worth living and fighting for, when the numbing blinders are removed.
I think the best way to thaw numbness is to start by accepting the numbness and/or whatever else you might be feeling. Realize that no matter how you feel, it is ok. If you try to push numbness or other feelings away you will not move through the numbness or unpleasant/painful feelings to the other side. Internet and T.V. are addictive distractions from our feelings. I wouldn't suggest trying to cut them out cold turkey, but I would suggest you make a little time to just be with and notice whatever you feel without trying to change it. Don't indulge it, just feel it. No effort at all. In my experience, this can work wonders over time. Since numbness can be a rather boring and unpleasant emotion I like to give it my attention as I am walking. For me the motion of walking is soothing and helps me feel like I'm not stuck. When I take these mindful walks sometimes nothing seems to really happen (though it's a relief not to control the way I feel), and sometimes the numbness disappears leaving other emotions ranging from despairing grief and fear to joy, wonder and excitement. When I don't try to control or avoid the pain or hang onto the joy, the pain is actually quite bearable because I feel it flowing through and out of my body. It's actually very refreshing. (This is especially true after running - it seems to stimulate some sort of internal flow).
There's a book I would highly recommend called Healing Through the Dark Emotions of Grief, Fear, and Despair. It's basically about emotional alchemy - learning to tend and befriend our "negative" emotions so they live out their life and transform into gratitude, hope, joy, and meaning. It addresses "psychic numbing" substantially. We live in largely emotion phobic culture (which superficially embraces emotion) so this process is not 2nd nature to most of us.
Post by audioalone on Nov 10, 2008 15:03:16 GMT -5
Hi Steve! Welcome to the board .
I understand your situation. I get that way myself at times. When I can no longer stand being bored, I do "anything" - something to break out of the rut. If your health is good, why not go for a walk (or a jog/run, if your cardiovascular system can handle this . I find when I get some fresh air and exercise, I come back home feeling a lot better. And like Nap said, happiness comes from within. [In the Realm of Is, it definitely comes from within. If you feel like talking, pm me, I'm a good listener ;D]
Sometimes a person just watches too much tv or dvds or whatever a person's into. When I do that, I really get bored!!! There's lots of different things to do to fill time - I'm sure you can figure out what you would like to do. Not everybody is inclined to do this of course, but sometimes praying helps (and you don't have to be in a church to pray!). When I'm depressed or bored I get out of it sometimes by reading - either the Bible or other reading material. Maybe take a class - something you might like to learn or expand your knowledge on - perhaps an art class, or woodworking, or something else. Just throwing out ideas, Steve, for consideration. There's nothing like doing something completely different than the "usual routine". Sometimes it is what a person needs to do. I know, because I needed to do something different than old audio's "usual routine".
Last Edit: Nov 10, 2008 15:04:24 GMT -5 by audioalone
I'd encourage you to get rid of all your electronics for a while, at least stop using them. It CAN be a very addictive recreational activity, just sitting in front of the screens all the time. Do as the ones above have mentioned; exercise, take a class, go for a walk in the park, or go and pick up a girl for that matter. Don't you have any friends or mates you can spend some time with? It's easy to say it, but think of something you could see yourself do and try to pursue that interest^^.
Sometimes a short road trip cures what ails. They also say that a change is as good as a rest, and maybe if you see some new sights, (even in a weekend or overnight getaway in a nearby area), you can come back rejuvenated. It can help to recalibrate and pull you out of your droning funk.