my story, shy and depressed

[jbq]

Hi everyone ,
My name is jassem im from middle east ( Kuwait ) . im kind of a shy person of course anyway im 32 years old , I don't work , I fell like im a loser , I spend my day drawing , writing ,and watching tv .
Actually I have been working in the water and electricity ministry for about five years , after that I got a breakdown , it was severe depression , I went to Psychological hospital , and I spent there for about 7 months and after that I got better with the medication of course , but I couldn't go back to my work , I feel like I would humiliate my self if I got back , I mean my friends at work they would ask me where were you all that time , what my answer would be , if I told them, they would feel sorry for me and they would treat me different than before and I don’t want that , I don't want peoples treat me like a chilled , like I have problems , I know I do , but I don't others know , I want to keep it for my self , I don't know .
I don't have a lot of friends , I have just a few though I don't go out with them because im afraid that I got self conscious , and feel like losing control , and of course humiliate my self in front of them and disappoint them , like they expected different act from my side , and they would expect from me to be socialist and talkative with them all the time which im not , im not a social person , nor outgoing , what I do , I don't have a girlfriend because of that , im awkward , I don't feel that I can fit in , I just don’t'.

[missmidnight]

, if I told them, they would feel sorry for me and they would treat me different than before and I don’t want that ,

you never know, they may have had similar things in their past, too. I know at least 4 or 5 people who have been institutionalized at some point in their lives, and I've had a few relatives go through nervous breakdowns.... so it's more common than you might think.

And a few friends is a lot better than zero, maybe there's one that you could talk with one-on-one about some of this.

im awkward , I don't feel that I can fit in , I just don’t'.

welcome to the club

[HybridMoment]

Maybe you can just tell them that you had an illness and that you would prefer not to talk about it. Unless they are really nosy they will probably just be glad to see you again.