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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 14, 2009 18:07:47 GMT -5
I've posted on this website initially about being a shy person and later I announced that I felt that my shyness was "cured" after I started to take certain supplements (st. john's wort). At the moment, I am not taking the supplements. There wasn't a reason for me to have stopped taking them other than one day I just had run out of it and got too busy to go to the store. Anyway, Ive been probably off of them for about 3 weeks now. If you're wondering if I've gone back to my shy ways I couldn't really tell you because I've isolated myself from friends, the public etc and I am preparing for an important exam. None of my friends know of my exact whereabouts and I am hibernating to escape the subzero weather. Grocery shopping is taken care of by my generous family and online shopping has become a new interest of mine.
In my life right now, everything is where it should be. If I work hard now my future is bright. I have family there care for me. My mom is an angel. My sibling is caring my father is a wonderful person. I am cared for, taken care for. I should be happy. I am happy.
My studying is interrupted with thoughts of guys and dating and marriage. I've been hurt emotionally by someone that I loved very much. Picture this, one day the person you love just stops all communication with you. Ignores your calls, your messages and even blocks you on facebook and doesn't write you a simple explaination after 3 years of being together. It did break my heart and my mind knows that I am better off to be without such a person that is capable of hurting me in that way but I find myself so often missing him. I am constantly thinking of him. I find myself emailing him almost everyday asking him to speak to me, to give an explanation. My mind knows that he is not worth my time. I have a great future ahead and I don't need him. I keep repeating that to myself everyday.
I wish I had better control over my emotions. Right now it's probably alot harder since I'm in isolation and nothing else to do but sit at my desk and study for hours on end.
to be continued
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Post by nelo on Jan 15, 2009 12:53:07 GMT -5
Prozac will kill your emotions. Problem is that it takes too low to take effect, the side effects aren't fun if you like sleeping at night, and the after effects are dizzy.
I can't imagine why someone someone would do that if they weren't dead or came to some sort of epiphany and thought you'd be better off without them. I wouldn't know anyway...
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Post by rukryM on Jan 15, 2009 15:54:19 GMT -5
It's nice to hear that you're working hard for your exams and trying to forget your ex, but I wouldn't at all advocate isolation. Doing nothing but studying all day long and then spend time in front of the screens is granted to keep you thinking more of your ex, not less. Going out and socialising with some friends is also mentally healthy. I think you'll benefit a lot from that in the end^^.
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Post by nelo on Jan 16, 2009 0:11:01 GMT -5
That reminds me...I started seeing my psych again. I felt much better when I got out. You know you can talk to your family about most things but you don't get any release out of it.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 16, 2009 12:14:40 GMT -5
I got clue today that he has a new girl friend. I don't want to care...don't want to care, don't wan't to care ..don't want to care...oh god, i don't want to care
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Post by nelo on Jan 16, 2009 12:49:16 GMT -5
That was fast...get a new boyfriend and stick your tongue out at him in defiance! I can't think of a serious answer at the moment.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 16, 2009 15:14:42 GMT -5
it's been a few months since he hasn't spoken to me actually.
this morning i logged onto facebook and noticed that he removed the relationship status as single on his profile. I can't view his wall because he blocked me from seeing that recently. Well, that was my clue that he had met someone perhaps is dating her.
I have been crying all morning and I've bee very tense and I wasted alot of study time. what i find hard to believe..and i refuse to believe is that one can not control how they feel and how they react to situations. why did i let that effect me..so what if he has a girl friend. why should i care?
what are feelings anyway? why do we have them? why do they get in the way of getting our work done?
feelings/emotions get in the way of things i need to get done.
I can remember a time when I was never effected by anyone in this way..perhaps if i found out (god forbid) a loved one had a serious illness..only then i could think that i could be shaken in this way..
but who the he** is he to be able to make me lose control...
i feel like this ive been cursed or something. ...
damn it, i don't want another day where i am in ANYWAY effected by what he does or doesn't do..
please, let there be no more days like this
i feel like im being killed slowly...what next? he's going to be engaged and married..
i wonder who she is..
i don't want to care ..i don't!!!!!!
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Post by rukryM on Jan 16, 2009 16:40:40 GMT -5
You're deluding yourself if you think you're going to forget about that obvious douchebag by checking his status on Facebook. I'd advise deleting him, preventing the website to be a reminder of him. Stop texting him, sending him messages and so on, it does nothing good.
And yes, I know it's hard, having been ditched by someone you love is like having the ground removed under your feet. Just try to keep your thoughts busy with something else.
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Post by nelo on Jan 16, 2009 16:40:53 GMT -5
When it seems like your head is going to explode, do you ever taken a deep breath, try to empty your mind and think about nothing at all? Also, its perfectly okay to say hell. Ever try running a few miles? My psych teacher also had this series of muscle relaxation exercises we did before tests.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 16, 2009 18:08:29 GMT -5
aww thanks guys, for trying to help me out even though i am a perfect stranger to you.
i've thought about deleting him. i don't know maybe he'll delete me one of these days off of facebook. but i couldn't get myself to do it. maybe sometime in the future if i ever get over this i would want to know what became of him and if i delete him then i wouldn't be able to keep in touch with him. I do care about him..it's hard to let go...
I don't do breathing exercises but I definitely need to do something I think. I need to start working out my lifestyle right now is very sedentary ..sitting at my desk for hours ..
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Post by rukryM on Jan 16, 2009 18:59:08 GMT -5
maybe sometime in the future if i ever get over this i would want to know what became of him I don't think you want to know about him in the future when you've gotten over him. That's why the best thing for you is to get total closure with this guy. Yes, you have feelings for him, but try to let them go. He's definitely not worth your time and energy. Not to be rude or anything, but seeing what he's doing all the time will just push you deeper down the abyss^^. I don't do breathing exercises but I definitely need to do something I think. I need to start working out my lifestyle right now is very sedentary ..sitting at my desk for hours .. Focus on your exam and then get out and do something new. Perhaps exercising would be a good thing? You might even get to meet some new people there. |
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Post by nelo on Jan 17, 2009 0:39:55 GMT -5
Funny thing is, I'm below average weight and I don't do anything. My metabolism is probably insane. Best way to forget things is to...stop thinking about them. Try playing an online game. Chances are, the people there will piss you off enough to forget anyone.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Jan 18, 2009 1:37:34 GMT -5
Hey shynesssucks,
Sorry to hear things are going so badly for you. I can only imagine...but I'm sure it is terribly hard to get over a relationship, especially one that has lasted for so long.
I'm just going to say, though, that by reading what you posted about him in the other thread...it sounds as though you are better off without him. He kind of sounds like a jerk. Especially for not bringing the relationship to a proper close by ignoring everything.
And it seems he must not be ready for a committed relationship.
Anyway, I second the advice that you should not isolate yourself so much. It's great that you're committed to studying...but it is good to get out every once in a while. Breaks are great for rejuvenation.
And...I also think it's very important that you delete him from facebook.
Seriously...facebook is evil. It does more bad than good, in my opinion.
I haven't had to deal with guys and break-ups....but I had a tendency to make myself feel worse by comparing myself to a lot of my old high school classmates and what they are currently up to. So..what did I do? I deleted about half of my "friends" because I couldn't stop comparing and it made me feel so bad.
Now I'm really glad I did this. It does help a lot.
Some things are just better not known.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 22, 2009 0:12:28 GMT -5
so heres. the update.
there's a glitch on facebook. if somebody blocks you from seeing their wall and you then deactivate your account and then reactivate it for some reason that block is no longer there.
so, i had deactivated my account with the hope to waste less time on that site..and when i relogged back to it..i saw that he had indeed changed his relationship status.
the girl i had suspected there was something going on bn them. i remember asking him about her once and he said that she wasn't his type. well, there it is..there you have it...
i think the lesson is that once you suspect something to be true, don't just blow it off..there's probably a reason you have suspicions...
and it IS probably true..
well i cried a little..and right now i don't know what to feel..i can't cry bc people are home and i don't want them to come in here and see me cry..and if i let myself cry i might not be able to stop for days..so i don't think dealing with these emotions at the moment is going to happen...
he made me feel horrible..he couldn't be honest..he made me feel ugly...i deleted him off of fb immediately and i hope i forget he exists...
i hope one day he feels the way he made me feel..i wish i get over this
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 22, 2009 0:48:56 GMT -5
he made me feel horrible..he couldn't be honest..he made me feel ugly...i deleted him off of fb immediately and i hope i forget he exists... i hope one day he feels the way he made me feel.. i'm sorry you're hurting. i hope you feel better soon. one thing that helped me was when someone pointed out to me that no one can make me feel any way unless i give them the power to do so...that i'm in control of my own feelings...that i can choose not to be affected by hurtful things people do and say. so now when someone mistreats me, they immediately fall into the category of people whose opinions i don't care about. |
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