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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 22, 2009 5:54:14 GMT -5
since earlier tonight..ive not moved basically sitting at my computer messing around on fb..i feel just ..i don't even know how to discribe it..it's really late here..and i want and need to go to sleep ..so i can get up tomorrow and have a productive day..
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jan 22, 2009 6:31:36 GMT -5
Sorry to hear you are hurting so bad.
Was this that wishy washy Bob guy?
Jerks don't deserve your tears.
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Post by rukryM on Jan 22, 2009 10:01:42 GMT -5
he made me feel horrible..he couldn't be honest..he made me feel ugly...i deleted him off of fb immediately and i hope i forget he exists... Good, and whatever you do, do not accept him again there, I'm sure you know it. Just know that there are guys out there who'll treat you with more respect than he did. so now when someone mistreats me, they immediately fall into the category of people whose opinions i don't care about. Listen to this advice! It's better to forget someone and stop caring about them, treating them like they were air instead of junk. Hating someone and wishing them to suffer only makes it worse for you^^. Just hope you get past it, it's a harsh reality to deal with. |
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 22, 2009 18:08:51 GMT -5
im still awake..i don't understand how im not even tired. i tried popping a couple of st. john's worts to artificially elevate my mood but all it did was relax me ...i still felt the same inside...
i don't want to be with him anymore
i'm not sure exactly how to explain what im going through..maybe it's the shock of it all
-i mean i guess the image of his facebook page and a photo of the two of them together flashes in my mind..which sounds silly i know.
i also feel inferior to this girl now. i don't want to..but i do..it's like he CHOSE her because she was better than me...
but i think that this is the last time that he will EVER make me stress out..
i just hope no engagement pictures suddenly pop up on my home feed..i mean it would be shocking to see it..and right now i just don't want to deal with anymore drama
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 22, 2009 19:25:01 GMT -5
im still awake..i don't understand how im not even tired. i tried popping a couple of st. john's worts to artificially elevate my mood but all it did was relax me ...i still felt the same inside... i don't want to be with him anymore i'm not sure exactly how to explain what im going through..maybe it's the shock of it all -i mean i guess the image of his facebook page and a photo of the two of them together flashes in my mind..which sounds silly i know. i also feel inferior to this girl now. i don't want to..but i do..it's like he CHOSE her because she was better than me... but i think that this is the last time that he will EVER make me stress out.. i just hope no engagement pictures suddenly pop up on my home feed..i mean it would be shocking to see it..and right now i just don't want to deal with anymore drama people don't always choose the better one. sometimes they choose the worser one cuz then they get to feel like the better one.  |
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 22, 2009 20:23:14 GMT -5
i don't want to be with him anymore for sure and i don't want to be like her..there are qualities in her that i would rather not have
but i think I AM depressed..haven't slept and haven't eaten a thing all day...i hope they're such thing as a one day depression..need to stop this nonsense and be productive
i don't know what is the real reason bothering me...it is shocking..but is that it..just shock? could that cause me to feel empty..or whatever it is that's going on
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Post by nelo on Jan 22, 2009 20:49:51 GMT -5
I'm depressed all the time, but I hate the medicine I've tried so far, so I try to care less...about everything. It has its problems. I don't want to say it won't feel as bad over time, but without medication or some new happy stimulus, I can't think of anything. Chocolate helps a little.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jan 23, 2009 15:08:28 GMT -5
people don't always choose the better one. sometimes they choose the worser one cuz then they get to feel like the better one. This is so true. A good explanation for why some guys chose the train wreck girls. They want to be the knight in shining armor lifting this down trodden trollop up makes them look really good. |
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Post by nelo on Jan 23, 2009 23:54:53 GMT -5
Hmm...one of my pen pals is a very depressed woman who's gone through a horrifying experience that is still affecting her. When I talk to her, I really wonder if I'm actually feeling depression or mild sadness. I feel the need to make her feel better but it does little for me...hell, I'm ignoring my own problems.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 24, 2009 16:18:18 GMT -5
kind of trying to make sense of things. and somethings are still shady and im sure in the future it will make sense.
right now i remember looking at the girls fb profile and seeing that she had changed her relationship status to being in a relationship. also she had made a comment like..(you know how you can update your status..)
her status said "this should be interesting".
when i had seen that i didn't realize that was actually referring to me at the time..bc she had known about me..and the fact that i was actually in love with the guy she had started dating..so i guess she was enjoying the fact that she was sneaking around with him..and it was "interesting" to her.
i remember seeing that she was in a relationship..and at the time i was relieved thinking, well if she's in a relationship then he can't possibly be involved with her..little did i know it WAS him.
i feel like a fool. think that's part of the hurt. a big part. bc there's no way in h** would i ever want to be with that guy again..not even if he was the last person on earth..not even if it was for me to stay alive...i wouldn't..i couldn't ever think of him in my life.
but it just makes me think now, are they..were they giving eachother highfives and laughing at me..while i was blaming myself annd losing sleep and doing poorly in school...and going through so much pain..and they were happy and healthy as ever ..together..
i was just a joke to them maybe..it makes me feel terrible
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Post by madiocre on Jan 24, 2009 19:29:54 GMT -5
i think the fact that he can't even come and tell you says that no it wasnt a joke to him he wasnt laughing at you but yeah he was a cowardly jerk . look on the bright side at least now you know what happened and the whole limbo is over and you can move on . if he was honest with you, you would probably already be over him now but he wasnt and so you are going to feel terible pain but in time it will get better.
as for the whole feeling inferior dont . i know its hard but seriously dont ....this sounds kinda bitter but he might have chose her cos they r more similar......they are both (by the sound of it ) jerks. i mean you said she has qualities you dont like and he isnt someone you would want to get with again .
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Post by rukryM on Jan 24, 2009 19:45:54 GMT -5
Eventually he'll ditch her too when he's come across something better, that's just how these guys work. So chances are she'll wipe some tears off her cheek someday too.
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 24, 2009 23:21:27 GMT -5
i dunno...
but ive known him long enough to take a guess as to why he went for her
1. $ --> he is neck deep in loans and she's already stable.
2. opportunity for career advancement.. she has connections
3. she is ahead of him career wise and she is young and beautiful, and he finds that attractive
whereas im in the same boat as him. neck deep in loans..
also, behind him career wise. alot of uncertainties with my future.
also, he was thinking with the wrong head.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 25, 2009 2:21:10 GMT -5
i was just a joke to them maybe..it makes me feel terrible i understand how you feel. but really, it just reflects very poorly on them. |
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Post by shynesssucks on Jan 25, 2009 16:09:49 GMT -5
man,
everytime someone responds and i come to this thread i get sad.
this thread has allowed me to get all the stressful things off my chest and kind of deal with it here..reading your responses actually did kind of help.
i think, that if i could completely get over this i could sleep well from now on..i won't have to worry about anyone but myself. godforbid something happens to a family member but that's the only thing in the future i can forsee stressing me out like that again.
i had a dream about a street..a dark street that was barricaded and i was scared to go in there..it's like all the bad memories..i know ive locked the two of them in a world behind that barricade.
i'm going to avoid coming back to this thread and hopefully make a new beginning..try to figure out who i am..bc honestly last few years i made it all about him...tried to make myself how he wanted me to be..but nothing had worked..
now, that his opinion no longer matters i can figure out what i want and who iam..and be good to those people that are good to me.
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