my career

[robbie]

I’ve been volunteering at the hospital as a pharmacy technician and my people skills are awful. I can't talk to people at all and I try my best to think of things to say to people all the time but I just cant think of anything to say that wouldn't be awkward, the ONLY time I talk is when someone talks to me first, all I do is try to hide from everybody there at all costs and pray my heart out that they don’t notice me. I’m pathetic. For years I’ve been looking for what i want to do as a career and there is nothing that I would like. Someone mentioned pharmacy technician to me once so I pursued that since you don’t have to be in public that much and it doesn’t seem too hard. Well I’ve been volunteering there for 5 days now and of coarse everybody there hates me. Everybody just wants me to leave the second I walk in the room because all I am is just an awkward silence all the time. This is how every single social situation in my life ends up being. Today I just acted really rude to someone and didn’t respond when she tried to be nice to me she tried several times to talk to me and I felt really bad, man I need help.

[strawberrysweetie]

First of all, you are not pathetic. You're not alone, many of us struggle with the same things.

Jan 8, 2010 21:35:05 GMT -5 robbie said:

For years I’ve been looking for what i want to do as a career and there is nothing that I would like.

I feel the same. I can't imagine enjoying anything really.

Good for you for at least attempting something, though, trying to give something serious effort.

You may hate me for saying this, but I think it's true....it's only been 5 days, that's not very long at all. Maybe a bit more time there will make you more comfortable. You cannot know for 100% certainty that people actually hate you.

If they notice you avoid them, though, they may think the same of you...that you hate them. Unfortunately, if things are truly awkward....no one really likes it and will try to avoid it, I think.


I feel much the same way you do, though. I avoid so many things, even though I realize this makes things 10x worse. I had to go take my car in about a week ago to get it fixed....and right when I got there, I sounded like an idiot, tripping up over all my words and had to slow down just so that my sentences would come out with the words in proper order, lol...it does feel like crap.

I've been thinking (for years actually ) that I should really get into volunteering myself, in order to improve people skills.

If you have help in your area and the ability to do so, please do try and get help. It may be helpful just to have someone to talk to.

[robbie]

Thanks i hope you're right.

[robbie]

Today I was watching Chris and Martin having , what looked like to me, the best time ever but its just another average day at work for them. They were having so many great laughs it wasn't even fair. They're like this every time I see them at work together. They're infinitly better than me at talking. My career is looking bad too, the last few days I've volunteered all I've done is file papers. There is so much that I need to learn in order to do this job effectivly and I'm not learning anything. Every day is just "go file papers" and I open a droor thats at my knees and lean over stapeling papers together for 4 hours. So pretty much all I got from work is an even deeper hatred of myself for not being able to talk and a hurting back from leaning over all day, okay just 4 hours but it feels like all day. I also found out today that I can't get a job there, at the hospital, unless I get certified and I tried this online corse to get certified and took a test that cost 150 dollars to take and failed miserably, twice. My parents pay for it and my mom wants me to keep taking it untill I pass but I can't that test it makes me sooo mad. So yeah, thats whats going on right now, nothing good.