Okay, So I am back after a very long time. Mostly I stopped posting because everything with me and my internet guy went very horribly wrong--all my fault, btw.
So we met and everything, but after he left things were weird and we weren't talking as much and I was to start college soon... Long story short... I did some things I'm not very proud of with another guy that I met online who happened to live a lotttt closer to me than my boyfriend did. I felt guilty and told my guy in new york what happened and he dumped me, which was expected I guess.
Soon after I begin dating the new guy and... lose my virginity to him. :/ It made me feel insanely guilty. He decides to attend school at my college and moves in to an apartment and stuff. Things were going okay but I kind of ruined that relationship as well and he broke up with me last week. V.V He was really smart though and tried to help me with some of my social issues, but now we are somewhat friends I guess.
I also went to a counselor here at school to try and talk about my issues with socializing, but talking to her was too much for me to handle so i cried a lot and never went back. I haven't made very many new friends since school started, but I really do want to try and get better at this whole thing.
Anyway, that's how things have been going in my life and I'm going to start posting again! Yay! :3
Okay, So I've started to notice that my ex-boyfriend/friend is starting to not want to hang out with me as much. I think he still just wants ... the sex part of the relationship and I don't want to just have sex with someone who has even TOLD me they don't like me. I just feel guilty after, so I ended the whole sex part and now i'm finding he is less willing to call me and just hang out. :/ I don't like guys. D;
Last Edit: Feb 17, 2011 14:22:54 GMT -5 by adriana
Friday night I went over and spent the night at his apartment >.< (iknow) We didn't do anything, although he wanted to. Then this afternoon we planned to go out to eat something but we ended up getting in a huge fight and he told me to 'get my stuff and get out' of his house. So I did. I think our 'friendship/relationship' whatever it was--is over now. :s
Well I've been a bit busy with school work and such, but here I am once again. Nothing much has really been going on, I'm still pretty much attached to my ex-boyfriend and we're back to being 'friends' I guess. It's not really friends though, We call it "Friends+" I've been spending the night at his place almost every night. I know that this is a very unhealthy relationship because I pretty much am in love with the guy but he definitely will never take me back. It's such a horrible fantasy. I just pretend that we're together whenever I'm with him. I miss being his girlfriend. It is so pathetic lol.
Anyway, I don't have any spring break plans. Which sucks so bad. My friend decided she doesn't want to be my roommate next semester (which hurt my feelings, but I won't be telling her that) so now I'll be with strangers. :s I hope I'll be able to become comfortable with them and be able to talk to them--but it's a scary thought.