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Post by putter65 on Feb 27, 2011 16:01:51 GMT -5
I think because nothing good as ever happened in my life, eg no girlfriends, I'm probably making too big deal about this. Yes she came to see, that was good I suppose. She probably see's me as a friend. I bet she would never date me though. I'm not surprized. I know what I look like.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Feb 27, 2011 22:14:58 GMT -5
No, I didn't mean to be funny. Just curious to know what you meant. oh it's just an old argument i've heard alot online that anytime a woman talks to a man about her problems she's not really interested in him - just using him for an emotional tampon. anyway, didn't mean to get that who thing started lol. |
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Post by putter65 on Feb 28, 2011 3:51:13 GMT -5
Oh I see. I've not ever heard that before !
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Post by putter65 on Mar 14, 2011 12:16:20 GMT -5
An update. We went to golf together last Thursday. Had a great time ! Fantastic ! We got on so well !
She did all the asking. She asked me via facebook. Said she couldn't wait to go with me to golf. She sent a few texts, always said she was looking forward to it. After she said she had had a 'great time' - she mentioned future meetings (golf), I asked to her to my house to have a go on my piano.
That was Thursday, we chatted a bit on facebook on the evening. Since then not much. I know I'm being daft thinking something is wrong. I have just got to be patient and not expect too much. She has other friends. Everybody advice is 'ask her out' or 'tell her how you feel' - I just think that's the wrong move. She came to me about the golf and that is what worked.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 14, 2011 14:11:49 GMT -5
An update. We went to golf together last Thursday. Had a great time ! Fantastic ! We got on so well ! She did all the asking. She asked me via facebook. Said she couldn't wait to go with me to golf. She sent a few texts, always said she was looking forward to it. After she said she had had a 'great time' - she mentioned future meetings (golf), I asked to her to my house to have a go on my piano. That was Thursday, we chatted a bit on facebook on the evening. Since then not much. I know I'm being daft thinking something is wrong. I have just got to be patient and not expect too much. She has other friends. Everybody advice is 'ask her out' or 'tell her how you feel' - I just think that's the wrong move. She came to me about the golf and that is what worked. glad you enjoyed the golf. about people advising you to ask her out, that is probably happening because women tend to look for concrete signs that men are really interested in them romantically. if they get the idea you just like them as friends, they tend to wander off in search of a guy who does like them romantically. |
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Post by putter65 on Mar 14, 2011 16:00:00 GMT -5
She told me a few weeks ago she didn't want a man in her life. That was in a conversation between us. She has been stressed out / depressed and I was trying to find out what was wrong. I don't think it was aimed at me but I think it would be insensitive of me to ask her out on a proper date after she has told me this. Maybe in a months time I will consider it.
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Post by putter65 on Mar 16, 2011 14:18:46 GMT -5
I sent a text on Tuesday, no reply yet. It's like the golf thing didn't happen. Just fed up with the whole thing.
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Post by Scotty on Mar 16, 2011 16:36:35 GMT -5
I sent a text on Tuesday, no reply yet. It's like the golf thing didn't happen. Just fed up with the whole thing. Tuesday was only yesterday man, I wouldn't worry about that. maybe she was busy and forgot to reply to it. |
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Post by putter65 on Mar 16, 2011 16:47:49 GMT -5
I know your right. I felt like a million dollars on Thursday. And that feeling has gone completely. After I got home on Thursday I sent her a text telling her how nice it had been etc. She sent one back it said, 'had a great time, see u soon' - I then wrote a bit of light banter stuff on her wall on facebook. She replied to that and 'liked it' - She was living on facebook on Thursday night and Friday but I didn't know what to do. Shall I chat with her or not. I sent her a 'have a nice weekend' message that didn't get a reply. On Friday I sent a message to her on chat. She took her time but replied to it with some smiles etc. I asked her a few questions and she replied a bit.
I sent her a text on Tuesday and I've not got a reply and she hasn't been on facebook since. I know she's busy and she's got other friends but god I feel down in the dumps.
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Post by Karen on Mar 17, 2011 8:36:27 GMT -5
putter, if you base your happiness on whether or not a girl texts/facebooks you back in a timely manner you are always going to get disappointed. For that matter if you base your happiness on another person at all, your going to get disappointed and hurt..... a lot. I should know, I've made that mistake before, it doesn't do anybody any good. It makes you miserable, and it makes the other person feel smothered.
I know its very difficult when you've got a certain person on your mind, but try focusing on what makes you happy in your own life. Don't worry so much about what this girl is doing or not doing, thats the surest way to make yourself unhappy.
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Post by putter65 on Mar 17, 2011 9:40:50 GMT -5
She won't feel smothered because I hardly contact her. She hasn't got a clue how I feel.
I am sure when she contacts me again I will feel better. It's just I wanted our first meeting to go well and it did. But I just need reassurance she doesn't hate me because we spent a couple of hours together. It's more about me than her. I don't want a woman to go off me, even as friends, just because she spent some time with me.
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Mar 18, 2011 6:05:24 GMT -5
putter, if you base your happiness on whether or not a girl texts/facebooks you back in a timely manner you are always going to get disappointed. For that matter if you base your happiness on another person at all, your going to get disappointed and hurt..... a lot. I should know, I've made that mistake before, it doesn't do anybody any good. It makes you miserable, and it makes the other person feel smothered. I know its very difficult when you've got a certain person on your mind, but try focusing on what makes you happy in your own life. Don't worry so much about what this girl is doing or not doing, thats the surest way to make yourself unhappy. Excellent advice. She won't feel smothered because I hardly contact her. She hasn't got a clue how I feel. I am sure when she contacts me again I will feel better. It's just I wanted our first meeting to go well and it did. But I just need reassurance she doesn't hate me because we spent a couple of hours together. It's more about me than her. I don't want a woman to go off me, even as friends, just because she spent some time with me. . . . After I got home on Thursday I sent her a text telling her how nice it had been etc. She sent one back it said, 'had a great time, see u soon' - I then wrote a bit of light banter stuff on her wall on facebook. She replied to that and 'liked it' - She was living on facebook on Thursday night and Friday but I didn't know what to do. Shall I chat with her or not. I sent her a 'have a nice weekend' message that didn't get a reply. On Friday I sent a message to her on chat. She took her time but replied to it with some smiles etc. I asked her a few questions and she replied a bit. . . Isn't this post-golf-event reassurance?  Look...I certainly know what it's like to have such a crappy self-esteem that you feel you need reassurance all the time....so yeah, I know it's easier said than done, and I am sorry for that.  But, it seems to me she did try and give you reassurance that she's okay with you. It's obvious you have strong feelings for this person...probably best to get them out there sooner than later, if that's what you truly want. Timing can be everything, sure...so, I don't know what to say about that.  But still....if you want more than friendship with this girl, you should probably be more clear with it. If you were truly content with just being a friend, than I would think that this post golf thing wouldn't be such a big deal to you. Anyway, I hope things work out the way you want them to. Good luck! |
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Post by putter65 on Mar 18, 2011 8:11:42 GMT -5
I am in a awfull situation that if I tell this woman I love her or whatever she will run a mile. Being friends is the next best thing. I am sure she is okay with me and I didn't do anything wrong at the golf. I feel better about it now anyway. I can be friends with her. Until she tells me to stop texting her, I will continue to do what I'm doing.
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Post by putter65 on Mar 18, 2011 10:39:46 GMT -5
I may be complaining on here and be worried sick I have done something wrong but I have never told her that. I'm not sending texts saying 'is there anything wrong ?' or 'have you gone off me ?' - my texts have been normal and the amount has been normal. She doesn't do facebook much and after our golf event she was always on. I just presumed she was chatting to her other friends so I left her alone. The last few days she hasn't been on at all.
I don't see what I have done wrong. I didn't bombard her with texts and messages. I sent a few, just enough to show I wasn't ignoring her.
Women are just strange. One minute they are all over you and then for no reason they ignore you.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 18, 2011 13:57:50 GMT -5
I may be complaining on here and be worried sick I have done something wrong but I have never told her that. I'm not sending texts saying 'is there anything wrong ?' or 'have you gone off me ?' - my texts have been normal and the amount has been normal. She doesn't do facebook much and after our golf event she was always on. I just presumed she was chatting to her other friends so I left her alone. The last few days she hasn't been on at all. I don't see what I have done wrong. I didn't bombard her with texts and messages. I sent a few, just enough to show I wasn't ignoring her. Women are just strange. One minute they are all over you and then for no reason they ignore you. again...believe it or not...men do the same thing. it's not a gender thing...promise.  |
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But still....if you want more than friendship with this girl, you should probably be more clear with it. If you were truly content with just being a friend, than I would think that this post golf thing wouldn't be such a big deal to you. 