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Post by loneangel on Feb 27, 2011 10:27:03 GMT -5
So I've been wanting to go to the movies (alone since I dont have friends) but I'm too shy to ask for tickets and food. I'm afraid I'll stumble on my words and embarrass myself:( I also have to make my mom pay for stuff in stores so I dont have to talk. Is anyone else like that?
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Robe
Junior Member
Posts: 97
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Post by Robe on Feb 27, 2011 14:12:02 GMT -5
Hi, I have the same problem. When I go to a fast food place, my brother always orders for me. When I go to a restaurant, I just point to the menu lol. I have trouble talking loud, so people can't often hear what I'm saying. I wish I could order food myself, it would help me be more independent.
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Post by Rose on Feb 27, 2011 15:50:59 GMT -5
I feel a pinch proud of myself on this one. Ordering food is one of the few things I am not too shy about. It is sometimes awkward, I occasionally stumble over my words, or talk too quietly, but it is their job to put up with it, and I'll likely never see them again anyway. ;D
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Post by Scotty on Feb 27, 2011 16:05:34 GMT -5
I'll sometimes get nervous if I'm ordering food at a new place and I don't know what the procedure is. Like at some sandwich place where they ask 20 questions about what bread, cheese, meats, veg, size, warm or cold...etc
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Post by Paulinus on Feb 27, 2011 18:06:27 GMT -5
I'll sometimes get nervous if I'm ordering food at a new place and I don't know what the procedure is. Like at some sandwich place where they ask 20 questions about what bread, cheese, meats, veg, size, warm or cold...etc I'm kinda the same. Any situation like that where I'm unsure of the procedure can cause nerves, I don't want to be the weirdo non regular holding up the other customers...
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Feb 27, 2011 19:30:49 GMT -5
I used to be like that, definitely. But not so much anymore. I'm most self-conscious when I'm out alone...which is the usual case anymore. I actually went out to the movie theatre by myself today, though....this is like the third time I've done it. The actual act of buying the ticket doesn't bother me too much. My discomfort is more due to being way too aware of the fact that I'm just by myself. But I try and remember that other people do this all the time and aren't bothered by it. Prior to moving away for college, I was scared of even the drive-thru...but that's pretty much nothing to me now. I don't like the idea of going inside restaurants or even fast-food places alone, though, so I typically don't. (Chipotle's an exception, because it's just too yummy ...Subway would be one, too). But again, that's mostly due to just not wanting to be out in public view alone. I wish I could confidently do that, though....I know deep down that it shouldn't be a big deal. Anyway, no worries if you feel you can't do this right now. In time, you may become more comfortable with it. Think of it as a good starting point....to baby step your way to improvement. Perhaps try it out at a place that you don't care for too much...go in and buy something small. That way you can just say to yourself, "Who cares if I mess up? I'll never have to see these people again." Like Zena mentioned. It could be good practice. The more you do something, the more comfortable you can become with it. And the nice thing is....is if you know exactly what you want, it's even easier, because you can practice what you're going to say. Lots of places have their menus posted online, so you could check beforehand if you tend to feel too uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the options while in public. Major movie theaters also post their movies/times online. I've found this to be helpful anyway.
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Post by putter65 on Feb 28, 2011 7:52:23 GMT -5
I work in a shop, serving customers and I often serve shy, unconfident people. I once served this guy with an awfull stutter. Did I laugh at him ? Course not ! We are paid to be patient and understanding and helpfull. And that's what we are.
Don't let this stop you going to the movies !
I am sure if you do it once it will become alot easier !
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Post by Grayback on Feb 28, 2011 14:01:45 GMT -5
That's one of the rare situations where I'm not that shy. When I was still in high school, I often went to the local supermarket ( instead of going to the canteen as I didn't want to sit all alone with everybody else staring at me or so I imagined ) as it was only a short walk from my school. Being so often alone at least allowed me to learn to do things myself, as there was nobody else around to turn to ( that's one of the few "benefits" I can think of in being a loner ). Like Strawberry said, the first time is hard but after a few times it will become easier.
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Post by Tal on Feb 28, 2011 14:04:27 GMT -5
Yeah I know the feeling. I hate shops and I rarely order food anywhere. I'd rather go hungry than order food unless I'm feeling unusually confident or have someone else with me who can go first. That said its all a matter of gaining confidence and speaking clearly and calmly. The more you go to a place the more your learn how the ordering system works, what's on the menu etc and you get better at it. Still the person the other side of the counter has the harder job...of writing the order down, charging you for it, maybe even preparing it.
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Post by sakura on Feb 28, 2011 21:35:37 GMT -5
For me the problem is not ordering the food, but the discomfort of eating alone...I've done this a few times before (eating alone I mean) & I felt so self-conscious, I could hardly swallow my food! But it does get easier after awhile...I also noticed other people around me eating alone, so I felt much better. So, to sum it up : Practice makes perfect !
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Post by Karen on Mar 1, 2011 9:58:18 GMT -5
I'll sometimes get nervous if I'm ordering food at a new place and I don't know what the procedure is. Like at some sandwich place where they ask 20 questions about what bread, cheese, meats, veg, size, warm or cold...etc I'm the same way, I'll eat at the same place for years, if I know the drill its easier to go in and order. I've even looked up places online so I can get a feel for how they work, or what the menu is before I get up the courage to venture in.
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additive
New Member
http://incrementalconfidence.com
Posts: 19
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Post by additive on Mar 1, 2011 15:25:40 GMT -5
I used to be like that, definitely. But not so much anymore. I'm most self-conscious when I'm out alone...which is the usual case anymore. I actually went out to the movie theatre by myself today, though....this is like the third time I've done it. The actual act of buying the ticket doesn't bother me too much. My discomfort is more due to being way too aware of the fact that I'm just by myself. But I try and remember that other people do this all the time and aren't bothered by it. Prior to moving away for college, I was scared of even the drive-thru...but that's pretty much nothing to me now. I don't like the idea of going inside restaurants or even fast-food places alone, though, so I typically don't. (Chipotle's an exception, because it's just too yummy ...Subway would be one, too). But again, that's mostly due to just not wanting to be out in public view alone. I wish I could confidently do that, though....I know deep down that it shouldn't be a big deal. Anyway, no worries if you feel you can't do this right now. In time, you may become more comfortable with it. Think of it as a good starting point....to baby step your way to improvement. Perhaps try it out at a place that you don't care for too much...go in and buy something small. That way you can just say to yourself, "Who cares if I mess up? I'll never have to see these people again." Like Zena mentioned. It could be good practice. The more you do something, the more comfortable you can become with it. And the nice thing is....is if you know exactly what you want, it's even easier, because you can practice what you're going to say. Lots of places have their menus posted online, so you could check beforehand if you tend to feel too uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the options while in public. Major movie theaters also post their movies/times online. I've found this to be helpful anyway. Nice post. Yes I think gradual exposure is the best bet in this case. That's what works for me anyway. Also regarding the stumbling of the words, the solution to that is to stumble with your words in front of people! Scary I know! But by just keeping on muscling through those experiences you gradually desensitize to them.
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Post by spinky on Mar 4, 2011 18:45:55 GMT -5
I'm the same when it comes to entering big ass shops or ordering food. As i'm a tall guy, i stand out like a sore thumb in a queue if i'm on my own, trying to look cool, but ultimately looking like an awkward geek.
Sometimes, it becomes soooooooo awkard to actually go into place that i walk towards the door, and do a 360 and end up looking at the menu in the window before walking off..lol I'm so cringing at the utter sadness of me, myself, and i.
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Post by Karen on Mar 4, 2011 20:41:15 GMT -5
Sometimes, it becomes soooooooo awkard to actually go into place that i walk towards the door, and do a 360 and end up looking at the menu in the window before walking off..lol I'm so cringing at the utter sadness of me, myself, and i. I feel your pain! I've actually driven to places and then just sat in the parking lot not having the courage to get out and go in. Not just at restaurants, but other businesses too. If I don't know how things work at a place I always feel soooo awkward the first few times. ..... I even feel uncomfortable at places where I know how things work, but usually less so
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1229
Full Member
Posts: 182
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Post by 1229 on Mar 6, 2011 15:08:01 GMT -5
Same here. As some of you have pointed out, sometimes it's a little hard to go into a new place when you don't know what to expect or what counter to go up to. But for the most part, I don't have any problems going to a restaurant and ordering food. I also used to think it would be hard to eat alone, but I've gotten used to that as well.
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