mai
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by mai on Apr 19, 2011 10:45:58 GMT -5
I'm and very shy girl dating a sweet but extremely shy guy (with a very demanding job). we started seeing each after a helping push from our friends.
the problem is I'm very shy and so he is, on every date there will be minimum of 30 mins of silence, and even if we talk the topics are very general, rarely about personal life and family. so far we went for three dates, once per month, he's very intelligent and sweet, I catch him staring every time I look away, and he always says that likes "talking" to me. I swear I see sparks flying when our hands touch.
the problem is that we are both so awkward around each other, every time we meet he just shakes my hand and smiles and mutters ' hullo', on our last date I thought it'll be a good idea to give him a peck on the cheeks while leaving, BUT I chickened out :'(. he shook my hand and lingered but then blushed and left.
I really really like him, but never told him, I find it very hard to speak my mind. and I think I'm ready for a kiss, but if things go as they are going now I don't think he'll make the first move. and I'm too shy to do so.
What should I do? :-[
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Post by Scotty on Apr 19, 2011 11:07:09 GMT -5
If possible you need to go on dates more than once a month. Try and make it at least weekly. The more time you spend together, the easier it'll be. Also keep in mind that you know you both like eachother. Mutual attraction is a gift, grab on to it. Hug him instead of shaking his hand, and go for that kiss, even if it's just on the cheek. Conversation wise, try to talk more about personally things if you can...and get him to do the same. It'll help you bond and make more of a connection. Also, welcome to SU!  |
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Post by Karen on Apr 19, 2011 11:07:33 GMT -5
I couldn't help smiling when I read this, you both sound so sweet.  I can't really offer a solution, but here are a few suggestions, when you go on dates, don't let the silence stretch out, awkward silences tend to take on a life of their own, and make everything more difficult. It might be a little uncomfortable at first, but when a silence comes up, just start talking about anything, it doesn't have to be particularly interesting, just something, like "I saw this great scary movie last night blah blah blah." Or "hey, have you ever heard of this band blah blah?" anything, eventually something will spark a conversation. Ask lots of questions, or talk about stuff in the news. Once you get to know one another better, the conversation will start to happen more naturally. Oh, also, you might try going on dates to places where there are already plenty of things to discuss, like an aquarium or a natural history museum. Just talk about whats right in front of you. As for the kissing thing, next time, instead of the handshake, just grin and say "aww, come here you!" and hug him. And see how that goes, then maybe on the next date after that try a hug and little kiss, and just go from there. Maybe little steps will work best for both of you, and also, when he sees you actually want him to kiss you, it might give him a little more courage to try it. Good luck! I hope everything works out well for you. Edit: ah, Scotty got there before me on the hugging thing! Thanks Scotty |
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Post by geekguy on Apr 19, 2011 11:18:32 GMT -5
All the good advice appears to have been said, so I'm going to add my voice to the "go for the hug!" initiative :3 Seriously, hugging is so nice |
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mai
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by mai on Apr 19, 2011 11:41:54 GMT -5
thank for for the warm welcome, this place feels like home already  Scotty, Karen and geekguy, thanks for the suggestions, sounds doable - the hug- , although I'm pretty sure that he will at least wonder about the sudden change in my character. Let's hope I have more courage this time. I promise to let you know how it went |
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Post by missklew on Apr 19, 2011 15:02:49 GMT -5
I would like to suggest getting naked. You don't have to talk much when you are doing it. ;D
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Post by brightestdark on May 9, 2011 7:03:19 GMT -5
How about this - it might sound a bit cringy but might be worth a try to get the communication flowing a bit more. How about suggestion to him before you meet that when you do you play a game where you ask each other questions about it each. Tell him you should each arrive with paper with 20 questions on then take it in turns to ask each other a question. You will find out lots more about each other and that should help in future if you know more about each other.
I know how you feel as I still like a shy guy and whenever we meet (which isn't often as we live in different countries) we usually say hi, how are you etc and then after a few minutes I run out of things to say and so does he. He never asks me questions really other than 'how are you?' and I find it hard just to make conversation. But if you're actually dating then it might be good to suggest a game of asking each other questions, as then you are both prepared and you can take paper in so you don't have to try and remember questions to ask in your hand.
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 9, 2011 21:41:58 GMT -5
I really really like him, but never told him, I find it very hard to speak my mind. and I think I'm ready for a kiss, but if things go as they are going now I don't think he'll make the first move. and I'm too shy to do so. What should I do? :-[ go to a rollercoaster park together. |
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