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Post by neverafraid2change on May 30, 2011 7:33:46 GMT -5
and more CONFIDENT! ;D
I would love to make new friends. I was once a very shy person but I've made great progress and I would like to share with you how I do this. Let's be friends and help one another overcome shyness. Let's talk, share, and learn from one another. Communication brings us closer. Together, we can help one another overcome what's holding us back from living the life we want and be the person we want to be.
If you would like to be my friend, please message me as I don't want to give out my email unless it's private.
I'm looking forward to meeting new friends!
--Thomas
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Post by pink2010 on May 30, 2011 10:38:58 GMT -5
Hey Thomas!
I would love to know how you overcame your shyness.
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Post by ura on May 30, 2011 10:43:22 GMT -5
Hey Thomas! I would love to know how you overcame your shyness. This, how did you do it? |
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Post by neverafraid2change on Jun 1, 2011 4:41:36 GMT -5
I was once very shy and I hated it. I look at other people who are so much more confident in what they say and do and I wondered to myself, "Why can't I be just like them?". The secret is, instead of thinking that you're shy, think you're confident!!! You're a human being just like everyone else. They're just people like us. I think shyness has a lot to do with being overly conscious of our actions and others and being too sensitive. There are too parts of the psyche called the conscious and the subconscious. We are shy because we're always consciously thinking about everything. We do the pre-thinking before we talk and we over analyze everything. All we gotta do is be more spontaneous and let our brains work more on the subconscious level. We shouldn't take everything so seriously. We're not perfect and we will make mistakes. There's nothing wrong with messing up, so we shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes. We are of equal to anyone and we can speak our minds. We shouldn't worry about what people think about us or what we say. The key is to practice, practice, practice. We have to talk to people and speak our minds without holding anything back. We have to put ourselves into uncomfortable social situations. We have to be surrounded by people. We have to put ourselves in the spot light. The key is to remain calm and believe that we can do anything we put our mind to. But remember not to be so aggressive or go to far. Moderation is key. We all can do it. It takes determination and a strong desire for change to become the person we envision ourselves to be. I've done it. You can do it too!  |
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Post by pink2010 on Jun 1, 2011 21:43:54 GMT -5
Thomas, You have given us powerful words of encouragement, and I enjoyed reading every word. I am going to start practicing now and somehow convince myself that I am confident. I feel that we do over analyze things. Personally, when I'm out in public, I feel that I'm being judged by everyone. But, that is not the case most of the time. All in all, I have to be brave and ignore my tendency to SHY away from social situations. Thank you!  |
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Post by Rose on Jun 1, 2011 22:30:48 GMT -5
We shouldn't take everything so seriously. ^ This line in particular stood out to me. Well said!! ;D Our thoughts can be very powerful things, no doubt. By the way, welcome to the forum. |
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Post by neverafraid2change on Jun 2, 2011 2:56:56 GMT -5
Pink 2010: You're welcome! It takes a little time but you can overcome that feeling of being uncomfortable in public being surrounded by people. The more you go out and be in public places surrounded by people, the faster you'll be used to it. Try to say hi to everyone and initiate small talks. People will talk to you if you talk to them. It takes practice and doing it little by little. Every time you do something that you hesitated to do, you have made a big step towards reducing your shyness and pretty soon being social will become second nature for you. Zena: Our thoughts are indeed very powerful. And thank you for welcoming me. |
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Post by Grayback on Jun 2, 2011 8:20:19 GMT -5
Thomas, your post is quite encouraging for all of us who still struggle with shyness in our everyday life.
It's good to know that it is indeed possible to overcome our shy nature as sometimes it seems as though it's impossible.
I feel that this is particularly true for me as I do spend a good amount of time analyzing things, imagining what could happen ( and generally in a pessimist way ) or what I should have done differently and many other little things like that.
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Post by neverafraid2change on Jun 3, 2011 23:15:31 GMT -5
Grayback: Yes, that's true. I tend to do that too. Just have to cut back on our ability to analyze things in details. When it comes to people, we shouldn't over analyze their our interaction with them and their interaction with us. Just chill, listen and talk our mind with people we meet. |
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1229
Full Member
Posts: 182
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Post by 1229 on Jun 4, 2011 18:50:48 GMT -5
If only there was some shortcut around that. I do agree though, that every once in a while that gamble to strike up a conversation with someone new does pay off. I've been the one to start the conversation with practically every best friend I've ever had. So, yeah, forcing yourself to say "hi, can I sit here" or whatever can really pay off. |
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Post by neverafraid2change on Jun 5, 2011 0:26:32 GMT -5
1229: That's great to hear! and yes it does work. We have to try and initiate the convo. If we talk they will listen and talk back. |
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Befriend the trees...they are good listeners. ;D