Do you think being shy makes you appear younger?

[dumpling]

People tend to think I'm in my mid-teens when really I'm an adult.
Yet I don't think I look 14, so I'm thinking that maybe it's because I'm shy.

Do any of you fellow shy people get mistaken for being significantly younger than your actual age?

[Sexy Spork #37]

Totally - although I never attributed it to shyness. I just thought it was because I had a baby face, but maybe it's because I'm shy.

In my college, everyone thought I was 16 when I was actually 18 and on a course I was on a few weeks ago, they all thought I was around 16 or 17 and I'm actually 21. I was in Sydney a few months back and I wasn't allowed into a pub because they said that I was 'clearly nowhere near 18'. And I was 21.

I don't know why we look so young - maybe it's because we're less stressed. We do have less pressure on us than outgoing people.

I definitely think I look young, though.

[strawberrysweetie]

Dec 7, 2011 3:15:59 GMT -5 dumpling said:

Do any of you fellow shy people get mistaken for being significantly younger than your actual age?

yes. Yes. YES. YES!

I definitely get told I look younger than I am. A LOT. A hell of a lot.

I don't know. Sometimes, it sort of makes me feel good. But really, to be considered as young as some of the people think I look, sometimes it really makes me feel bad and/or pissed, lol.

So...I'm currently 24. Just a couple of months ago, shortly before turning this age, one of my brother's 17/18 year old friends was shocked when I told him...I asked what he thought I looked, and he said he was thinking '13.'

Other people at my workplace have sort of given me crap about it. Well....actually, they're not toooo bad about it, but people definitely point it out a lot. "Are you even old enough to work here?"---one guy shouted that out to me.

My height has a lot to do with it. And my youngish face, I guess.

Seriously, though...I often think...."What the hell? 12-year-olds don't have a chest this size." The height's just most obvious, I guess. People have tried to give me children's menus many times.

I wish I could make myself look my age at least, but I don't think it's possible. Maybe if I was better with my hair and make-up ...okay and clothes ...maybe it would help a bit. But I feel nearly hopeless with that type of thing. Plus for my current job, it wouldn't be at all appropriate to even dress myself up or anything. The plainer, the better.

meeeeeh.

Oh, but I don't really think my shyness has anything to do with people thinking I'm younger. My shyness makes me FEEL much younger than everyone else, though. Because I lack experiences, and I feel I majorly lack social skills.

[silence]

Always been a big problem for me. I do some causal work and meet a lot of different people aged around 16-22. I've taken to lying about my age I often say I'm 19/20 (which is a lot lower than my actual age) and every time they act surprised and say I look younger than that, which is really depressing. They would really shoot me down if they found out my real age. It's so rude you wouldn't mock someone to their face if they had a massive nose or something so why do they feel comfortable doing this to me. I gave up giving my real age at about 24 beacuse I couldn't take it any more. If I'm in a situation where I can't lie I start panicking and become really defensive, which probably comes off as crazy. I know loads of people still get ID'd at all ages and most don't care but it me its like a stinging blow.

Yeah it's an issue mostly due to face and hight I'm 5ft, big eyes, round face and not very well put together, I don't have many nice clothes as shopping is a big worry of mine. When I work we wear uniforms and have hair tied back, which does me no favours. My voice is young sounding too. But also my shyness and incompetence don't help, I have nothing going for me so I'm not sure which the biggest factor is. Still in regards to looks there are still some kind people out there that tell me when I'm 40 it'll be great.

[lostmyself]

When I was 15 I had no problems getting into places for 18 year olds. I think I was tall for my age. I think height can make you seem younger or older than you are.

idontfearsilence, I know it doesn't really help you now but it will be great when you're older. When people reach their 40's/50's they spend a lot of time and effort trying to look younger, you guys won't have to

[Rose]

I think shyness can definitely make you appear younger. People seem to mistake me for a teenager a lot. Though I haven't got an "out of school today?" comment for at least a year. Maybe there's hope I'm finally growing into my age, appearance-wise.

[urbanspaceman]

I think this can definitely be the case.

I used to have this a bit, partially I think due to something Sexy Spork mentioned, about the pressures of life. Sure we all have our worries and problems to deal with, but shyness definitely has the effect of keeping certain pressures 'at bay' while you're busy being avoidant and making any excuse not to take part in life in general! I'm talking about myself here by the way, not to offend anyone else ;D

I'm thinking mainly of high pressure work environments/jobs and the inevitable strains relationships can put on a person. When you're extremely shy or have social anxiety these things aren't necessarily such a huge factor in how you live your life I think. Mainly as shyness plays a big part in either avoidance of these things or puts major road blocks in developing confidence in both. Hence while chronic worrying and overthinking certainly won't help your health, absence of these other significant pressures can mean you don't have the worry lines or battle scars that other more 'experienced' folk have of the same age!

Or maybe it's just genetics

I've no idea if I've worded any of that the way I would like really, or if it makes any sense. Been a long while since I attempted to post a semi-serious (or any) post on here!

Also, I think the inevitable effects shyness can have on a person's social life totally influences other people's perceptions. Lack of exposure to social situations, or ability to practice talking to a variety of people, and the ways of getting to know new work colleagues, potential friends, even family members can make you seem so much younger in the eyes of other people. Of course it can make life easier when you practice or at least take part in the art of small talk to get a conversation going, but sometimes I think it's a blessing not to bother with that! It's something I'm not fond of at all, and I bet a lot of others aren't either. Making crappy conversation with folk I don't really want to talk to anyway! But yeah, my point being.....something....

You can seem a lot younger when you don't take part in these rituals of socialising, which like I said a lot I'm not keen on. But tends to be the only route into getting to know people and discovering things you both have in common or have a deeper interest in discussing. Shyness, or the more socially acceptable form of shyness I think is typically associated with younger people, with a much larger stigma attached to shyness or social anxiety in adults, like it's just something you should 'grow out of'. And here we all know it's not that simple.

Hope that makes sense to someone!

[1229]

I think the inevitable effects shyness can have on a person's social life totally influences other people's perceptions.

I agree. For the longest time people always thought I was way younger than my age. It hasn't happened in a while, but I've been told I carry myself youthfully. I've always taken it as a compliment and never thought it was related to being shy/quiet until now. Even so, I'd still take it as a compliment.

Hope that makes sense to someone!

It does!

[strawberrysweetie]

"I'm sorry you look like a child." *smiles*

Within a minute later: "That was supposed to be a compliment!"

No it fucking wasn't. How about....'sorry, my fist is about to go into your face'

Seriously, though. I initially took it as a joke/something meant to be lighthearted and not intentionally offensive, but then when she said that, I actually felt MORE bothered. Because if anything, that would have been joking/teasing, not a fucking compliment. NO NORMAL ADULT WANTS TO LOOK LIKE A CHILD.



Stupid, stupid, stupid life.

[Astroruss]

I can't say my shyness has ever made me appear younger than I am, honestly. I do feel a lot younger than I really am through the way I handle problems.

For example, I've been out of school for just over two years now and I can't find any good work. I have a full time job, sure, have had it for seven years now. But I can't get into a good career and make a life for myself. My inability to deal with this and other problems really frustrates me and gets me all upset. I get anxious and nervous all the time with new things and experiences.

I think this problem makes me appear younger, because I come across seeming like a little boy and not a man.

[Karen]

Feb 7, 2012 16:52:08 GMT -5 Astroruss said:

I have a full time job, sure, have had it for seven years now. But I can't get into a good career and make a life for myself. My inability to deal with this and other problems really frustrates me and gets me all upset. I get anxious and nervous all the time with new things and experiences.

This is me too.

Exactly this... right down to being at the same job for the last seven years and not being able to move on and make a proper life for myself. I get really anxious and nervous all the time about new things as well, sometimes I think more so now than when I was younger.

[anticrank]

Re does being shy make you appear younger

The simple answer is yes. People often think that I'm still a teen even though I'm 25. I have a friend who's 24 who often gets mistaken for being 14. My theory is that a lot of us don't develop those horrid, aggressive, chip-one-your-shoulder attitudes that seem so rampant among young people in western societies. I find people from countries like Japan, Korea, China and Thailand also tend to look a lot younger than their real age. The thing is people from those countries also tend to be relatively introverted. Another factor could probably be that their diet is nowhere near as atrocious as is say, the American or British diet.

In the main, I have found more introverted people tend to look younger than their real age.

[missklew]

After thinking about this, sure some people look younger as their skin and features just naturally look younger, but really is how people dress which makes them look older or younger.

We tend to adopt certain "costumes" during different age period and there is a tendency to get stuck in the teenage costume unless there is something that forces us to change.

Like a job.

There is a woman I work with who I suspect is quite young but she wears suits and shoes that are outdated and it makes her look older. I think she might be 30s but her dress makes her look 40s.

Then I took at teens waiting for the train and they all have very similar dress and hair styles and it is easy to say look that person is a teen.

If I see a woman with an 80s big puffy hair style, it really dates her

So if you are being mistaken for a teen, change your dress and hair style.

[Sexy Spork #37]

Interesting perspective. I never thought how to dress could affect things, but I guess anything could.

I know I look like a bum. Even my mum told me I look like a homeless person. But that's deliberate. I've had the same clothes for years now, and all of them are black or grey. And my hair's long. I'm definitely stuck in the past. People have told me I always look the same. I just ignore them. I don't care how I look, but if you do, maybe updating your wardrobe will do the trick.

[user1mame]

Well, i think it does. For me, am shy also bt cos am really tall and seldom talk or smile. People think am ovr 20 when am 19