Anyone here experienced feeling despondent?

[anticrank]

What I mean is a feeling of demoralized, dejected and being stuck in a rut. The feeling where you're at a loss of what to do with your life. That feeling whereby you feel trapped at a dead-end, have lost motivation. It's extremely difficult to describe, near the borderline of impossibility.

Have any of you guys ever experienced such a feeling?

Have any of you guys experienced the following;
A feeling whereby all the options for improving your social situation just seem too overwhelming? Where the thought of joining clubs, classes and all the other clichés seem to require courage that you just can't sum up, which you then end up beating yourself up about?
You doubt your likeability and value so much (possibly as a result of loneliness, or the wrong sort of company, a stagnant social life), that it makes you want to hide away?
Felt that you are a social failure and that anything you do will be futile?
Or have you felt 'why would (so and so girl/boy I fancy/type) want me when there are so many (insert; confident, attractive, virile and others) people out there', as a result

Ever felt that feeling that life is passing you by?
Ever been unable to see a way out?
Ever felt that 'this is it'?
Ever been kept awake and disturbed by a racing mind? The thought of never moving on?

Please share your experiences here with situations, thoughts and feelings similar to the above. I have been through all that before, so I know what kind of utter hell and misery it is to feel like that. It's only made ten fold worse by that fact that 99% of people cannot relate or understand, leaving you feeling completely disconnected. If any of you guys can relate to such experiences, please share.

[Crashtastic]

Umm..yeah totally. I go back and forth with that feeling on a regular basis. It's a hard thought process to get out of but I try to push out those feelings because well they're pointless and they get you no where. I mean it's a pain in the ass and I'm not always too successful at countering such thoughts but you have to bring yourself back to reality. Like, when you think about how you can't make any friends...It's like surrendering to that idea and you then close yourself off to it even more than you were. The only times I have ever had new people come into my life are the times when I was a little open to it. You have to consciously make the effort to think differently.

Any time that I have had the ability to do that I've felt better and more in control...and there for more confident. No I didn't go out and make a bunch of friends that day lol but I felt happier and content with myself. On a day when I wouldn't have all of the negative thought swimming around in my head I would go to work and be able to have conversations...my coworkers seemed to talk to me more and I was in turn able to make conversation with them. When you feel like crap it translates in your body language....and most people aren't going to talk to someone who looks like they don't want to be talked to. I know I wouldn't It takes a lot of time. For some people it takes none and that's great, but for me and other shy peeps, it's just something you have to work at. Life deals you all kinds of crazy stuff, some shyness isn't even the half of it. So I can take it lol

[marle]

I completely understand being 'stuck in a rut' and feeling like 'this is it'.

The prospect of my situation changing for the better has felt extremely remote since I was 10-ish. The older I get, the more microscopic still my chances are. I feel overwhelmed by the odds.

I think of slowly drowning in deep water- the further you sink, the harder it is to get back up to surface. The farther down you go, the greater the water pressure that's weighing down on you. It also gets darker as you move farther away from surface light.

I definitely feel like life is passing me by. I keep looking forward to old age for some reason. Like I know nothing is going to happen between now and then, so it's easy to mentally fast forward to the end of my life. I think the reason the future feels so remote for some people is because there is so much possibility there. Also people usually have a lot to focus on in the present. That's just not the case for me.

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

Ever been kept awake and disturbed by a racing mind? The thought of never moving on?

I think I should be experiencing this more often. There are some occasions where the reality of my situation hits me. A deep hopeless feeling comes on. And I get rather scared. It's in those moments when I appreciate how 95% of the time my emotions are deadened. I don't usually have a "racing mind" - I usually feel somewhat dull and in a mild malaise.

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

You doubt your likeability and value so much (possibly as a result of loneliness, or the wrong sort of company, a stagnant social life), that it makes you want to hide away?

In a way I all ready feel "hidden." It's about an inability to engage with people. I don't even know if people can really like me or dislike me if they can't know me.

[missklew]

Yes, I have figured out it was working for someone else that was making me so miserable.

[CharlotteGirl]

Well yes I`ve surely felt similar things before, even if perhaps not quite in the way you describe. Certainly used to get very depressed and always feel that everyone else had a much better social life when I was younger. Possibly still do really. On the other hand, perhaps it`s just that 99% of people inwardly don`t want to relate or understand! Even the supposedly happiest, most successful, confident people can presumably simply experience feelings of emptiness/despondency from time to time, for no apparent reason. Moreover, ordinary people as well as celebrities for that matter can of course experience major crises in their lives, so what do they ever really have to be so happy about?

[Audio the obscure]

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

What I mean is a feeling of demoralized, dejected and being stuck in a rut. The feeling where you're at a loss of what to do with your life. That feeling whereby you feel trapped at a dead-end, have lost motivation. It's extremely difficult to describe, near the borderline of impossibility.

Have any of you guys ever experienced such a feeling?

ABSOLUTELY (forgive the caps, just stressing I feel the same way), anticrank. I'm going through it now and it's a horrible feeling.

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

Have any of you guys experienced the following;
A feeling whereby all the options for improving your social situation just seem too overwhelming? Where the thought of joining clubs, classes and all the other clichés seem to require courage that you just can't sum up, which you then end up beating yourself up about?
You doubt your likeability and value so much (possibly as a result of loneliness, or the wrong sort of company, a stagnant social life), that it makes you want to hide away?
Felt that you are a social failure and that anything you do will be futile?
Or have you felt 'why would (so and so girl/boy I fancy/type) want me when there are so many (insert; confident, attractive, virile and others) people out there', as a result

Yes, all of it. I feel like no matter what I do to try to change my situation, it seems to remain unchanged. It's as if I've gone back in time and become a spectator to my life because no matter how much I want to change it, I am having great difficulty doing just that!

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

Ever felt that feeling that life is passing you by?
Ever been unable to see a way out?
Ever felt that 'this is it'?
Ever been kept awake and disturbed by a racing mind? The thought of never moving on?

All these too I feel just about every day. I'm getting less and less motivated (or determined), though I see the need and want to improve my situation, I don't have that "get up and go" motivation to actually DO the things that make for changing my situation. Even visualizing doesn't seem to help me change my circumstances. I don't sleep well. And when I sleep, I wake up very nervous and apprehensive, worried, fearful of the future and my lack of accomplishment.

Dec 7, 2012 16:50:25 GMT -5 anticrank said:

Please share your experiences here with situations, thoughts and feelings similar to the above. I have been through all that before, so I know what kind of utter hell and misery it is to feel like that. It's only made ten fold worse by that fact that 99% of people cannot relate or understand, leaving you feeling completely disconnected. If any of you guys can relate to such experiences, please share.

I can most definitely relate to what you've put here, anticrank. (I put my own post on the rant thread earlier talking about similar feelings) I hope and send out well wishes to you for things to get better for you. Take care .

[helise]

this is old. but, you've captured my feelings this month perfectly. there's nothing like getting your hopes up to have them dashed at the opening of someone's mouth. when putting forth the greatest effort I have put forth ever to engage someone in an interesting conversation where I thought I was being very engaging discussing matters of interest to my listener, I was flat out told I was boring. When I offered this person the option of coming up with things for us to talk about, they stated they couldn't come up with anything to talk with me about. this person is quite social with his other friends and seems always excited to chat with them. after many conversations, I thought we, too , were on our way to becoming friends. but, I guess he was simply being nice by chatting with the shy who doesn't talk to anyone and has no friends. he once stated he was only chatting with me cause he felt bad and he thought he could help me with my socialization issues. I should have realized earlier it was merely him pitying me not any sort of friendship in the making.