|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 4, 2013 14:04:24 GMT -5
So, at last, I've finally found a good job. I'm the Tech Instructor at a public library now. It's only part time, but it pays very well and hopefully I'll become full time eventually. There's a very cute librarian here I'm interested in and am working up the guts to ask out. I can talk to her, but she's kind of quiet and blends into the background. Which is wierd because she's the manager of the place, hehe. She's short and cute brunette, which of course I go nuts over. But it's hard to find out anything about her. She looks about in her mid twenties or so, but she doesn't have any man or kid pictures on her desk. When we chat about work she's open and receptive to my ideas and plans for my instruction classes and she's quick to say good morning to me everyday, and she always gives me a cute shy kind of smile at me, even at my dumb jokes. And when we close at night and I walk out with the women to the parking lot so they get into their cars safely and so they have no mechanical trouble, she kind of gives me an even cuter smile as she gets in her car. I try to park next to them every day of course, especially hers. But i can't get anything else out of her! She always reads at lunchtime, which I understand because I used to do it all the time and still do actually, and I don't want to disturb her. I think she kind of likes me; it helps that I'm the only the strait man that works here. And one more thing. As I took my computer cart up the elevator to my classroom she goes with me to unlock the door. One day last week she held the door open for me as I push my cart through, and she couldn't get the door to stop and stay open. She was puzzled by it, but I reached up and fiddled with the pneumatic dial and got it to stay open. I had to stretch a bit but could reach it. As I did, I could have sworn she gave me that cute shyish smile at me and adjusted her long pony tail. I'm not a tall man at all, only 5'6" but I've still got a good six or seven inches on her, and everything I've learned suggests that when they does the cute smile and hair toss/adjustment combination it means Bingo! Flirt City going here! I'd appreciate more input from everybody as to how to proceed. I've missed Valentine's day, but I'd like to work on this process with her more.
|
|
|
Post by Stranger on Mar 5, 2013 2:07:52 GMT -5
The flirting algorithm:
1. Muster up confidence. 2. Set flirt intensity I to 1. 3. Flirt with intensity I. 4. Read response. 5. If response = unambiguous yes, ask her out. Return WIN. (Go to dating algorithm.) 6. Else if response = unambiguous no, stop. Return LOSE. (Go back to search mode.) 7. Else increment I, go to 3.
|
|
|
Post by missklew on Mar 5, 2013 9:13:56 GMT -5
So, at last, I've finally found a good job. I'm the Tech Instructor at a public library now. It's only part time, but it pays very well and hopefully I'll become full time eventually. There's a very cute librarian here I'm interested in and am working up the guts to ask out. I can talk to her, but she's kind of quiet and blends into the background. Which is wierd because she's the manager of the place, hehe. She's short and cute brunette, which of course I go nuts over. But it's hard to find out anything about her. She looks about in her mid twenties or so, but she doesn't have any man or kid pictures on her desk. When we chat about work she's open and receptive to my ideas and plans for my instruction classes and she's quick to say good morning to me everyday, and she always gives me a cute shy kind of smile at me, even at my dumb jokes. And when we close at night and I walk out with the women to the parking lot so they get into their cars safely and so they have no mechanical trouble, she kind of gives me an even cuter smile as she gets in her car. I try to park next to them every day of course, especially hers. But i can't get anything else out of her! She always reads at lunchtime, which I understand because I used to do it all the time and still do actually, and I don't want to disturb her. I think she kind of likes me; it helps that I'm the only the strait man that works here. And one more thing. As I took my computer cart up the elevator to my classroom she goes with me to unlock the door. One day last week she held the door open for me as I push my cart through, and she couldn't get the door to stop and stay open. She was puzzled by it, but I reached up and fiddled with the pneumatic dial and got it to stay open. I had to stretch a bit but could reach it. As I did, I could have sworn she gave me that cute shyish smile at me and adjusted her long pony tail. I'm not a tall man at all, only 5'6" but I've still got a good six or seven inches on her, and everything I've learned suggests that when they does the cute smile and hair toss/adjustment combination it means Bingo! Flirt City going here! I'd appreciate more input from everybody as to how to proceed. I've missed Valentine's day, but I'd like to work on this process with her more. That is great news about the job and all! Ask her out for a coffee or for lunch.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 5, 2013 13:56:43 GMT -5
The flirting algorithm: 1. Muster up confidence. 2. Set flirt intensity I to 1. 3. Flirt with intensity I. 4. Read response. 5. If response = unambiguous yes, ask her out. Return WIN. (Go to dating algorithm.) 6. Else if response = unambiguous no, stop. Return LOSE. (Go back to search mode.) 7. Else increment I, go to 3.
Oooh! I didn't know they'd made an algorythm for this! Thank God, my prayers have been answered. I'll plug it into my optical data conduit network port, and see what happens. Then I'll watch her bright cute optical sensors and shee what kind of data receptance she provides. I'll also have to keep my own optical sensors off her own nice conduit port too.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 5, 2013 14:01:43 GMT -5
That is great news about the job and all! Ask her out for a coffee or for lunch. I don't know, she seems to have a lot on her mind all the time. I know she has to deal with the govt's branch admin stuff a lot, in addition to helping sort books and checking them out to people all the time. This place seems kind of understaffed. She was sorting books for shelving a while ago this morning and dropped a bunch of those bothersome little thin childrens' pic books, the ones that slide like surfboards off flat surfaces and give librarians back aches shelving them. I helped her pick them off the floor, she said 'No, I got them' but I helped anyway. But still, nothing else happened.
|
|
|
Post by jwn57030 on Mar 5, 2013 23:23:14 GMT -5
I do have one practical thought. I noticed you mentioned she was a manager. I would double check your work place policy on dating. Mine for example allows 2 people to date who are in separate departments and would never have any chance of ever being each others manager. If you report to someone else and is no way above you in the food chain you are good to go.
My less practical thought is to go for it. Being shy I have been afraid to go for it way too many times. More recently I have been getting the nerve to go for it. Sometimes its a complete failure, but I have no regrets about getting turned down because at least I tried. I even find it a confidence boost when I go for it and get shot down, because at least I tried.
I am not sure if I can comment on if she is flirting with you. I have a 50/50 success rate with figuring that out. There's some I thought were completely flirting with me and I asked out and got turned down. Turns out they were just being friendly. I like the idea above of trying lunch. You might try mentioning that you didn't bring your lunch and were going out to get lunch. You could ask nicely if she wanted to come along not like a date but just like you would ask any other co-worker you weren't interested in. Maybe if she really is flirting with you she would pick up on it and possibly ask to come along. It might be easier to get to know her as a friend first.
|
|
|
Post by putter65 on Mar 8, 2013 17:02:37 GMT -5
the lunch idea is good or coffee.
Stop over analyzing everything though ! Just do it ! Good luck !
|
|
|
Post by jwn57030 on Mar 9, 2013 17:47:11 GMT -5
the lunch idea is good or coffee. Stop over analyzing everything though ! Just do it ! Good luck ! Your exactly right. That used to be my biggest problem. Once I stopped thinking and just acted I tended to get better success.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 25, 2013 12:42:20 GMT -5
the lunch idea is good or coffee. Stop over analyzing everything though ! Just do it ! Good luck ! Your exactly right. That used to be my biggest problem. Once I stopped thinking and just acted I tended to get better success. I've chatted with her a lot more last week, but i still can't seem to break through her layer of professional civility. She still smiles at me when I look at her (God, she's soo cute) but she also smiles at everyone in that polite kind of way. Arrggh! I wish women came with an operating/interpretative manual!
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 27, 2013 23:15:53 GMT -5
All bets are off. She has an engagement ring now.
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 30, 2013 17:52:56 GMT -5
All bets are off. She has an engagement ring now. oops. sorry.
|
|
|
Post by jwn57030 on Mar 31, 2013 15:32:04 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that. Hope you find someone else soon.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Mar 31, 2013 23:35:33 GMT -5
I should have checked her fingers before. I was too busy trying to flirt and get to know her better, and to keep my eyes off her. Actually, I'm only assuming it's an engagement ring. She still doesn't ever say anything about any fiance or boyfriend. And no pictures of him either, and she still goes by her maiden name. It's quite peculiar, really. She did throw me a nibble on Friday. She was locking the library doors and turning off the door sensors but couldn't reach them. So she came over to the circ desk and said she needed a tall person. I went over to the door and was just able to reach the sensor by stretching up on tiptoe. She thanked me and I said, "No problem! I like feeling like the tallest person in the room. I don't get that very often."
|
|
|
Post by jwn57030 on Apr 1, 2013 22:35:17 GMT -5
Spotting the ring can be a challenge, especially if your trying to talk. It can also be hard because I have talked to women who aren't married or engage and have rings on both fingers, also women who are married and have no rings. No pictures might be a good sign. How do you know its her maiden name if you don't know if she has a boyfriend or is married?
I don't want to be discouraging but I think you are having the same issue I have had many times in the past. Taking something completely innocent and turning it into a signal. Sometimes its hard to tell whats a signal and what isn't but I think I am getting better at it. In this case, the way you wrote it just sounds like she needed help with a switch and nothing else. I would say keep working on being friends with her and doing something else outside of work, but until something actually happens, keep yourself open to other experiences and other women.
|
|
|
Post by Astroruss on Apr 9, 2013 12:28:35 GMT -5
Spotting the ring can be a challenge, especially if your trying to talk. It can also be hard because I have talked to women who aren't married or engage and have rings on both fingers, also women who are married and have no rings. No pictures might be a good sign. How do you know its her maiden name if you don't know if she has a boyfriend or is married? I don't want to be discouraging but I think you are having the same issue I have had many times in the past. Taking something completely innocent and turning it into a signal. Sometimes its hard to tell whats a signal and what isn't but I think I am getting better at it. In this case, the way you wrote it just sounds like she needed help with a switch and nothing else. I would say keep working on being friends with her and doing something else outside of work, but until something actually happens, keep yourself open to other experiences and other women. I know it's her maiden name because it's the same name as her mother's on her contact info available on the staff directory that we all filled out. You're not being discouraging, you're being realistic, and it's high time I started being that too.You're right, I need to stop worrying about this and maybe try other dating opportunities besides all the cute women here at work. Lots of women in this profession, thankfully, but they're hard to talk to. Shybies seem to excell in this field.
|
|