Getting Stood Up... A Good Thing?

[jwn57030]

This weekend I was stood up. It sounds like a bad thing. Sunday night I did feel bad, so I went to bed early. In the morning I had to make a decision whether to mope and sleep in, or force myself to get up and to try to start my week off fresh.

I made the choice to force myself out of bed. As I was getting ready for work some thoughts of how my weekend was bad crossed my mind, but slowly other thoughts popped in. The most important being that since I was so low, the only way I could go from here was up. Slowly as I focused on that thought I began to feel better.

As the day went on I talked to my co-workers at work about my weekend. As that happened I realized that even a year ago I would have been to shy or timid to share something personal like that. That made me feel even better as I realized the progress I have made in the recent months on improving my social skills.

After I got home I had another thought, just a couple of years ago I would not have even been able to ask a girl out. The fact that I was able to ask a girl out and be stood up was great progress. 5 years ago I wouldn't have believed it was possible I would be able to ask a girl on a date.

My whole point is the best help you can give yourself is changing your frame of mind. I didn't change over night from a negative depressed person to a happy positive person, but after years of work I am finally there. I was able to transform myself from a sad person this morning to completely happy content person tonight.

So, I encourage everyone to try to find something positive about the day no matter how bad it was. You will be amazed at the results.

[Scotty]

That's a great attitude to have!

[cilantro]

That's something I've been doing, too. I can mentally record my progress in life with good points and feel motivated by that instead of recording the negatives and worrying about what still isn't.

I'm glad you're able to do so many more things now, and I hope they continue to roll in for you!

[Crashtastic]

I adore you for this! lol There is always something that is good if you look for it and I have to remember this myself.

[jwn57030]

Thanks for all the great replies. It makes me more confident that sharing something personal about myself is not as scary as I used to think. I look to the future with more success.

[ura]

Framing things in a postive way is generally good for you and you've done it and since you're progressing as well that really is a good thing.

[jwn57030]

I thought I would give a quick update to this thread. I recently met someone and we have been dating for a couple of weeks. Its good and bad. The good thing is I have been able to find someone that I really like and seems to enjoy spending time with me. The only problem is that right before she met me she went through a bad breakup so right now she does not want anything serious but she still does want to spend time with me and get to know me.

Also one scary thing is that she said she is not completely over her last boyfriend. So right now i am really taking it day to day. Some days are really good and some are really challenging my emotions.

Even though it's hard I think I really am gaining insight into myself and I am sharing things with her that I have never shared with anyone else. To me this means I have taken another step away from my shyness to being more open with people, even if she ultimately hurts me. Also, The fact that I currently am maintaining what is at this point probably the longest relationship I have had is also a good thing.

I really don't believe in superstitions like 4-Leaf clovers, or even that much in the power or prayer, but right now I would love anyone to pray for me or do any superstitious thing to send me good luck and good vibes for this to work out.

[Audio the obscure]

Read your first and your latest (update) post. Congrats on that you're dating someone and maintaining the relationship. Congrats also on your willingness to be open with her even if she may ultimately hurt you later. I'm sending well wishes, hope wishes your way that it will continue positively and that she will get over her past relationship and be willing to have a committed relationship with you. (I don't express myself right sometimes, so I apologize in advance if I'm not wording things in my post the correct way. Please know that I mean well and even though you don't know me yet as I'm a newbie who used to be on here a few years ago, I'm hoping for all the best for you in this your new relationship:).) In my humble opinion, I believe relationships are the most challenging thing in life for growth - but oh so fulfilling and worth it when all works out:). All the best to you !

[jwn57030]

Thanks for the well wishes. Your post was worded just fine. It was great to read and actually has made my day a bit better. Plus it put a smile on my face. Yes it has been really challenging but I am learning so much about myself in a short time and I am trying very hard not to make the same mistakes in the past that have stopped me from having anything but a second date. Right now I have had a very large challenge as I have not seen her in a week and a half as she was out of town. I am suppossed to see her tommorow though. The last week I have had days when I was really missing her, but I have managed to handle it much better than I have in the past. Probably stealing a line from a movie here, but she truly is making me be a better person.