|
Post by wagnerr on Jul 5, 2005 14:37:29 GMT -5
Anybody have any tips for boosting confidence? I'd really like to know.
|
|
|
Post by I am Jack's wasted life on Jul 5, 2005 14:50:54 GMT -5
Anybody have any tips for boosting confidence? I'd really like to know. Well, when i want a boost in confidence i try to dress my best. It's pretty silly but i feel a lot more confident when i'm looking my best rather than looking all slumpy. Although this method only boosts confidence temporarily *sigh*. Also, listening to upbeat music, helps make me feel better about myself. That's all i can think of at the moment.
|
|
cate
New Member
Posts: 43
|
Post by cate on Jul 5, 2005 14:59:58 GMT -5
There's always the age-old "change your appearance", but in my opinion confidence comes from more than just your outlook. In my experience, going to places in which requires you to socialize (i know it is hard at first) and interact with others, like maybe volunteering or trying a new hobby that you enjoy, will make you feel more outgoing and boost your confidence. When I started my job at a restaurant, I was forced to talk and at least "act" happy to the customers, but as time went on i didn't have to act anymore, i eventually became cheerful and wanted to socialize with them. It takes time to build confidence, but if you sincerely try to get out and socialize with others, then you will soon realize that you are a lot happier ( and confident) than before.
|
|
|
Post by GreenFerret on Jul 5, 2005 15:11:21 GMT -5
I don't have any generic confidence-building advice at the moment... I'll have to think on that. But specific to you, Russ, I can make a few points that might help. I'll start out with the assumption that this is a social lack of confidence, not an academic or professional one? You've said you've got a lot of female friends--and having a lot of friends of any type should tell you that you have many good points. Think about how you became friends with each girl you know--even if you initially had a romantic interest that was deflected into a friendship, you should realize that you mastered the only part of social interaction that you can control. You forged relationships with people you might never have known otherwise; and whether or not you're "their type" in terms of dating is something you have no control over. (Remember, too, that there are many girls out there who won't see friendship as a hurdle to developing a love interest. I'm with Scotty now because he became my best friend and confidante--my Shoulder and Ear--before anything else. Before realizing that we were serious about one another, we talked often about the guys/girls that we liked, and what we were doing to pursue them, even. Scotty even got a "let's just be friends" style speach with me... clearly, my opinion on the issue was not set in stone. And I mean, come on, it happens all the time in the movies! ;D) Also remember that multiple people here have mentioned that you would make a good SU administrator. That in itself should inspire confidence. Good advice, btw, Cate! That whole acting happy thing really works, as uncomfortable as it is to start doing. Panda, too--upbeat music is tough to feel low during.
|
|
|
Post by Some Guy on Jul 5, 2005 16:06:21 GMT -5
I would advise going to the gym or getting exercise and maybe listening to good music in the process. However I think you work out a lot anyway so Im not sure if it helps you. I like the idea of trying to improve myself physically and thinking about my final goal and how it is achievable. This might not work for others though.
|
|
|
Post by Samantha on Jul 5, 2005 18:07:50 GMT -5
nope
|
|
streetworm
Full Member
me and my gee-tar at the talent show
Posts: 215
|
Post by streetworm on Jul 5, 2005 18:39:43 GMT -5
For me finding a hobby I really enjoyed helped.
Also, just doing things that make you feel comfortable is good (except for not talking to people). Listen to music you enjoy, dress in clothes that you like, etc. Try to focus on the good rather than the bad. Pessimism and shyness seem to go hand in hand oftentimes. For a long time I actually prided myself on my pessimism, at times it can be a valuable tool, but most people just don't like being around a person who only talks about bad things (why would you). Just try to be happy in everyday life and it seems like things get much easier. They did for me anyways. I'm still shy, but it's much more manageable at least, and I can talk much better now as well.
|
|
|
Post by Kitten on Jul 5, 2005 19:06:13 GMT -5
I would advise going to the gym or getting exercise and maybe listening to good music in the process. However I think you work out a lot anyway so Im not sure if it helps you. I like the idea of trying to improve myself physically and thinking about my final goal and how it is achievable. This might not work for others though. Good idea. In fact, I'm off to the gym now. Russ, not sure either otherwise. Panda has a good idea in just trying too look your best, though it's really only "surface confidence". Still, if you feel you look good, you'll feel better about yourself and probably act a little bolder, and even a little confidence is better than nothing.
|
|
|
Post by Speedracer on Jul 5, 2005 20:09:39 GMT -5
i feel good and more confident when i feel i accomplished something. being a gearhead i usually go find something thats broke and fix it, or build something, or work on some crazy idea i had until i make it work. do something constructive it might help.
|
|
|
Post by wagnerr on Jul 7, 2005 15:53:40 GMT -5
Thanks for replies everyone!! My confidence problems stem from not being able to recover psychologically after making a mistake. Like when i screw up at work, it gets in my head an i just can't seem to forget about it. Sometimes i feel like crying. Other times, i become afraid to say things to people because i'm not sure how they'll respond. I have a hard time speaking correctly, and i often say things i don't mean too. Or they come out all wrong. Also, i have a hard time with women. Can't seem to get anything going with them, and i'm scared to try. They say women like confident men, and this depresses me majorly.
|
|
|
Post by Naptaq on Jul 7, 2005 16:08:34 GMT -5
Thanks for replies everyone!! My confidence problems stem from not being able to recover psychologically after making a mistake. Other times, i become afraid to say things to people because i'm not sure how they'll respond. They say women like confident men, and this depresses me majorly. How to recover from a mistake? well simply do not think about it. Laugh it off. cus u know what. if u think about it too much it'll just grow stronger. that feeling that ur no good. so reject that shit. you know u have the right to express yourself. and hey ur not perfect so if other people don't like what you said then tough luck. they can go out and be perfect then lol they say women like confident men? they talk a lot don't they.. society. u know when ur with the right person u'll be good, u'll be urself and that's all there is to it. peace
|
|
|
Post by Icarus X on Jul 7, 2005 21:54:46 GMT -5
There are two ways to boost confidence: success and delusion. Success is the better way, because then your confidence is justified. Delusion works only as long as you can maintain your delusions. Some people are very good at deluding themselves, and can keep being confident no matter what happens. But most people's delusions will eventually break down when confronted with a complete lack of success. That's a bad thing to have happen.
The other methods people mentioned are really just one of these two. Changing your appearance is just delusion, you're no better at anything than you were before. Working out can bring you actual success and hence some confidence, but if you misapply your newly gained to non-related things like social situations, it's just being delusional.
Confidence is overrated anyway. It makes doing some things easier, but obstinacy works just as well for that. Go do whatever it is even though you know there's a good chance it won't work out. It also feels good to be confident. Appearing confident can help make a good impression on people, but you can be confident without appearing confident, or vice versa. The whole confidence thing is mostly pop psychology BS. I hear the schools are eating it up though, and feeding the kids lots of delusional confidence. In the end of course, that just hurts them. And it'll do the same to adults.
|
|
|
Post by airburst on Jul 7, 2005 22:02:25 GMT -5
Anyone tried taking up martial arts?
|
|
|
Post by Moderator on Jul 7, 2005 22:24:15 GMT -5
At one specific point in my life... I help to boost my confidence when I enrolled in college.
Just prior to that I felt as though I could not do anything right (partially due to treatment of my ex).
I had been out of high school for 7 years and it was really kind of scary, at first. I mean... I wasn't in the study mode I needed to be in.
Once I got over the initial shock of the change of environment... I began to realize I wasn't nearly as stupid as one in particular led me to believe.
Actually, I was able to look at my accomplishment and know that I could feel proud of what I was really able to do.
My point is... approach something that you feel would be an accent to You, as a person. That will make you feel better about yourself and there fore boost your confidence.
As Always, Mary
|
|
|
Post by Naptaq on Jul 8, 2005 7:19:10 GMT -5
Anyone tried taking up martial arts? I've thought about that too. And it would be a great idea. I like martial arts anyway so it would do me double good. haven't tried it tho..
|
|