A recovered shy person.

[Robert]

Yes it is possible.

For the first 26 years of my life I was painfully shy.

I'm talking that turning too jelly in the presence of a girl.

Trying to be one of the guys, but not being able to pull it off.

Getting bullied at school.

I would try to say something intelligent, but I just sounded stupid.

Even in the rare cases that girls threw themselves at me, I was so terrified that I would just stand there like a dope.

I wanted to be liked, I wanted to fit in, and the more that I tried, the more alone I felt.

Nothing worked.

At times I dreamt of death, a release from my pitiful life.

Until one day something happened too me.

What happened to me?

Simple.

I said F*** IT!!!

I was so tired of trying to fit in.

So tired of being the third wheel.

I was tired of being inconsequential.

So I gave up on caring what people thought of me.

I quit trying to impress people.

I started doing and saying what I wanted, and did not care what others thought.

And my life changed.

Now when I say that I quit caring about what ever other people thought, I do not mean that in an anti-social or sociopath way, but I quit caring about the way people viewed me.

You see, for me my problem is that I wanted everyone to like me, but I could not get hardly anyone to like me.

I quit caring what the bullies said, what my family said, what my so called wayward friends said, and only cared about what close family and friends said. Their (TOLERANT) view was the only thing that mattered to me.

I was so used to living my life based upon others approval and or disapproval of me and then correcting my life in order to fall inline with what they thought I should be. This is a recipe for disaster in my opinion and led me to a very lonely existence for many years.

Today I listen to people, I take criticism, and I listen to opinions, then I weigh all of these things against my own Moral Compass.

So what is a Moral Compass?

A Moral Compass is the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, giving or selfish, and I want to be a good person so I follow the Compass in the direction of what is right, good, giving, and my life has totally changed because of this.

Today I have many friends. I am no longer looking in from the outside. Today I am part of the group, part of a fellowship, and the same can happen for you.

My transition did not take place over a day, week, or even a year. It took many years, and it was at times painful, but it was so worth it.

So there is hope out there fellow shy persons and I wish you the best.

If there is anything that I can do to help please let me know.

Robert.

FYI I'm now 38 years old.

[Boblouie58]

Robert, congratulations on being your own person and being in control of your life. Being shy has its moments of course and many of them are very painful but those of us who will try and try again to overcome can. It wasn't easy for me but I knew my previous existence was certainly not the way I wanted to be for long.
Getting out and "among them" as I say, is a big key. Them is defined as people in all walks of life and all colors. People are people, some shy, and some confident.

Whatever it takes to get out among them counts for something. So your face feels hot, or you light up like a Christmas Tree, well so what. People will accept with any short comings you may feel you have and they will accept you as one on them.

Getting out and being "part of" anything will make for a better sense of being. Everyone needs to continue working on getting "out among them" and enjoying life.

Boblouie58

[Robert]

"Robert, congratulations on being your own person and being in control of your life."

Thank you, but lets just say that I'm more in control of my life now. I still have a ways to go.

"Getting out and "among them" as I say, is a big key."

Amen.

"So your face feels hot, or you light up like a Christmas Tree, well so what. People will accept with any short comings you may feel you have and they will accept you as one on them."

Ah... that brings back some memories. You just explained the way I once was and how I felt.

I remember forcing my self to go to social events, and forcing my self to talk to other people. The key to my success was a healthy reliance upon God and going to the social event not to see how much fun I could have, but going to see how I could make the occasion more enjoyable for others, and in doing so I found that I had fun. Weird how that worked.

"Getting out and being "part of" anything will make for a better sense of being. Everyone needs to continue working on getting "out among them" and enjoying life."

And in doing so, eventually you become one of (them), in the best since of the word.

Robert

[CaryGrant]

Thanks for sharing, Robert and boblouie. It's great to hear from formerly shy people, or maybe now we could call you "minimally shy?" I think shyness is a continuum, and you two would be toward the nonshy end. It's great to have much less shy people here to help those of us more toward the shy end of the scale.

[robini123]

"or maybe now we could call you "minimally shy?"

I like that phrase CaryGrant.

It is fitting.

"It's great to have much less shy people here to help those of us more toward the shy end of the scale.”

Thank you. And if there is anything that I can do, please let me know.

Robert