Where to meet people?

[CaryGrant]

Hi All,

I am making a huge (for me) effort to meet people. I have finally decided to settle in one place and create a circle of friends, and I realise it takes time to find potential friends and then even longer to build a deep friendship.

My sister also recently settled here and made quite a few friends quickly - but, she is a bit of a party person. As she pointed out, for example, if you go to a particular local restaurant after 11 pm, you will find people open to meeting others. Not pickups, but potential dates and friends.

Anyway, for those of us who are not into that lifestyle, does anyone have ideas about good places to meet people for friendship or more? I am currently trying or have recently tried: canoeing, rowing, volleyball, writer's collaborative, speed dating, Internet dating, hockey, vegetarian group...and some I've forgotten.

Canoeing, volleyball, the writer's and veg groups seem most likely to yield friends. I can tell I am making progress in being accepted by people in those groups, but patience is required...when you see people briefly once a week.

My sister also suggested temp jobs, as she has a friend who has met lots of people that way. Apparently most of the other office staff are very happy you're there to help them out.

Thoughts?

[max]

Two things not on your list that you might consider are volunteer work, and continuing education classes. They have a lot of weird but fun sounding continuing education classes at some places .. try taking a course on 'becoming a private detective' and see who you meet in class Or take some more serious classes at a local university. Nothing too cerebral, and hopefully interactive. Acting classes? Photography? Public speaking classes?

One thing to keep in mind is that your sister might just be more proactive at making friends, at taking the initiative to set up additional activities. Maybe you could learn from her how she does that. Then tell me Heck, maybe just hang out with your sister once in a while and observe her technique, even if the environment isn't necessarily your thing.

[Oakley]

Yes, continuing eduation classes are good. How good are you at cooking? Take a cooking class all kinds of women attend these classes. You could go to a what used to be called Home Economic classes...covers cooking, sewing, buying food tips, etc.
Get a temp job at a grocery store in a food section where you point out where items are or what these items are used for?
As a last resort go on the internet and ask "how to meet women".

Max's suggestion of hanging out with your sister could give you some good pointers; does your sister have any extra women friends?

[CaryGrant]

Thanks guys...my sister and I spoke last night about this. She used to be shyer than she is now, and she would hang around with her very outgoing friend...however, this actually held her back from overcoming her shyness, because she just rode on her friend's confidence and didn't have to develop her own.

Later, however, she was able to use her friend as a role model by asking herself, "What would H. do in this situation?"

About a month ago I did meet a guy locally who was willing to be my "shyness coach," but then he was locked up in a mental hospital. Seriously. I haven't seen him since. Sometimes the normals are not so....

I think I will go hang out at local places where I know (according to my sis) people meet others, and just observe.

I had thought about the classes and volunteering ideas, but hadn't done anything about 'em. I wouldn't mind taking an Indian food cooking class.

[NewOrleansLady]

Is your sister willing to let you hang out with her? My sister is more outgoing and she likes for me to tag along. Although, most of her friends are my friends now as well, I still only consider them her friends and just let her make all of the plans.
My problem is I prefer doing things alone. I'm probably selfish this way but, even something simple like going to a movie won't work out the way I planned. Somebody is always running late (I like to see the pre-views) or they never want to go home at the end of the night. For some reason, I have friends that don't like to go home. They'll beg and beg to go out and have a drink and that drink turns into 5 drinks, and I feel like the party pooper because I actually want to go home and get some sleep because I had just planned to do the one thing and not stay out all night long. This situation has plenty of different scenerios but, that's basicly how plans with my friends turn out.