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Post by LonelyHeart on May 16, 2004 9:29:35 GMT -5
Hi, i'm 20/m/australia and i feel very anxious and nervous around girls, sometimes i start to blush for no reason and i think that they think that i'm weird for doing that or something. i do notice some people checking me out but i'm too shy to know how to respond. any tips? help to relax? i always see guys with good looking girls in groups having fun and it makes me sad when i'm alone. btw.. MSN and E-mail - evolutionmp@hotmail.com Please write anybody!! I always like e-mail / IM buddies to chat to as i'm basically a loner these days.  |
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Post by canisay182 on May 16, 2004 13:40:38 GMT -5
if you see someone looking at you then try to talk them, but if you cant, like most of us here, then maybe just go sit a couple seats away from them. they might come and talk to you. if you start talking to them and you blush, you could say something like "sorry. im a little nervous talking to someone as beautiful as you." almost all women like compliments and some even think blushing is cute (me). good luck! ;D ;D
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Post by LonelyHeart on May 16, 2004 20:59:49 GMT -5
I could... but then again I don't want them to think that i'm interested in them when i'm not.  |
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Post by Jarous on May 16, 2004 23:22:54 GMT -5
I do assure you it's thousand times worse for them to think you are not interested when you are.
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Post by CaryGrant on May 17, 2004 11:24:16 GMT -5
LonelyHeart - I had the same stinkin' problem: I was worried that some woman would think I like her when I do not, and then I would have to deal with that, I guess by rejecting her, which I feel terrible doing.
I found two ways around this - approach women I am interested in, so I am in charge, and second, get some practice "rejecting" women. This last sounds bad, but it wasn't, really. Here's what I did:
1. Went out on tons of first dates thanks to speed dating and internet dating.
2. At the end of the date, I smiled and said, "It was very nice meeting you. Have a good evening." And not a word more.
I thought I was going to be struck dead by lightening for not asking them out again, but other than an intense surge of anxiety, nothing bad happened. Most women were relieved someone was honest and upfront, because they didn't want to go out again, either (it's so hard to know if there's chemistry until you meet someone). A few women were taken aback, but they lived with it. If I liked someone, I could always email or call her the next day and see if she wanted to go out again, and generally she would be pleasantly surprised. And if the date went really well, then generally one of us would ask about a second date before the first was over.
Now, about the other issue, being nervous around girls, the cure is the same - go out on tons of first dates. After enough of them, you will no longer feel nervous about first dates. Along the way, you'll have some second dates...and will get over that. After that, I can't help you, because I haven't yet found anyone I want to date more than once or twice yet.
And, finally, find some girls you are NOT attracted to physically but that you LIKE otherwise, and be friends only with them. Have fun, and don't forget to laugh at yourself.
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