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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 0:01:26 GMT -5
When a guy says he wants a woman who doesn't play games does that necessarily indicate that he won't play games himself? Or does it mean that he wants a woman who's not as good at playing games as he is so he's always one step ahead of her?  |
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shyni
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Post by shyni on Aug 26, 2005 0:28:51 GMT -5
I think that means he won't play games himself, but with some men we never know.....
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 1:26:00 GMT -5
I think that means he won't play games himself, but with some men we never know..... Yeah, and maybe sometimes that's exactly the way they want it. Who knows?  I know this one guy, ever since he appeared in my life there's been alot of weirdness. For awhile, I was absolutely convinced he was just playing games. Then for awhile, I wasn't so convinced because I found out that other people were contacting me online pretending to be him. But now, I don't know what to think. The games seem to roll on - still have 'people' contacting me on IM and email pretending to be him. Add to that his avoidant behavior and it's pretty damn confusing. I've even wondered if he might have MPD or something. But maybe he's just been playing games all along. I've read accounts of people online who enjoy doing such things because they are misogynists and like to waste womens' time. I guess I won't ever know for sure what's been going on unless he talks to me about it face to face in a direct manner. But I don't know if he ever will. I've never been successful at having a private conversation with him where I could even bring all this up.  |
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 2:19:54 GMT -5
PS - I do feel really bad about the situation. You have no idea. But after all, isn't the person who refuses to communicate directly the one ultimately responsible for any misunderstandings that arise? Isn't it understandable that I would behave as I have under the circumstances? Could anything ever really improve if he refuses to talk it over in person? Just misunderstanding upon misunderstanding will continue to result otherwise resulting in a tragedy of errors.  |
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 2:26:03 GMT -5
PPS - And it has also occurred to me that the same people who are contacting me pretending to be him could be contacting him pretending to be me, or lying to him about me if they know him in person. I want to trust him, but I need to know for sure when he is the one I'm talking to before I can.
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Post by lonelyheart on Aug 26, 2005 4:47:12 GMT -5
I will assume that he wants you to be predictible and 'boring'.
Anyway, he sounds like he may have some issues...do you really like him?
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 5:06:55 GMT -5
I will assume that he wants you to be predictible and 'boring'. Anyway, he sounds like he may have some issues...do you really like him? You really think so, lol? Predictable and boring, huh? Well, I probably am, lol. Would you want that? Predictable and boring? Yeah, God help me, I really do like him. But I doubt he believes that at this point. I think things have gotten too confusing, due to the interference of others very likely.  |
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Post by lonelyheart on Aug 26, 2005 5:51:28 GMT -5
how old are you, and more importantly him? sorry, it might help me give you a better answer, not that i have any experience.
despite being really shy, i would love a girl who challenged me, it would make things more interesting and probably fall in love with her even more.
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 6:02:51 GMT -5
how old are you, and more importantly him? sorry, it might help me give you a better answer, not that i have any experience. despite being really shy, i would love a girl who challenged me, it would make things more interesting and probably fall in love with her even more. Ummm...let's just say that we're both definitely old enough to know better than to let other people come between us. I really can't go into it more here. And I take it what you're saying is that you DON'T prefer boring and predictable. Somehow that doesn't surprise me.  |
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Post by lonelyheart on Aug 26, 2005 6:15:06 GMT -5
oh okay no problems  how well do you know each other and you have been seeing each other for a while i assume? |
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Post by I am Jack's wasted life on Aug 26, 2005 15:02:55 GMT -5
That sounds really weird LIly. I mean...who the heck are these people pretending to be him?? It's like, don't they have anything better to do?
Anyways I think you should just blow through all these confusions and misunderstandings. He said he didn't want a woman who plays games so I'm sure he's feeling weird about it as well. Maybe you should ask or complain to him about these people pretending to be him, assuming he knows about them that is. Maybe you guys can invent a code or whatever in order to find out if the person you're talking to is the real one lol.
Me and my cousin did that. We used to talk on aim a lot and sometimes his friends would pretend to be him in order to mess with me and vice versa, so we formulated this "code" to identify ourselves. If either of us are suspicious that we're talking to an imposter we would ask "What's your favorite number?" And the correct answer is "Blue" so if the person doesn't answer "blue" then i know it's an imposter.
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 16:16:09 GMT -5
That sounds really weird LIly. I mean...who the heck are these people pretending to be him?? It's like, don't they have anything better to do? Anyways I think you should just blow through all these confusions and misunderstandings. He said he didn't want a woman who plays games so I'm sure he's feeling weird about it as well. Maybe you should ask or complain to him about these people pretending to be him, assuming he knows about them that is. Maybe you guys can invent a code or whatever in order to find out if the person you're talking to is the real one lol. Me and my cousin did that. We used to talk on aim a lot and sometimes his friends would pretend to be him in order to mess with me and vice versa, so we formulated this "code" to identify ourselves. If either of us are suspicious that we're talking to an imposter we would ask "What's your favorite number?" And the correct answer is "Blue" so if the person doesn't answer "blue" then i know it's an imposter. Good idea, Panda. But in order to do this he would have to be willing to talk to me in real life somewhere private. At this point that hasn't happened. I'm not about to bring something like this up in a public place. It would just be too weird. There's alot of things that have gone on that he should know about actually. Being shy is such a curse sometimes. And yeah, you would think people would have something better to do wouldn't you? But apparently not. |
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Post by GreenFerret on Aug 26, 2005 16:35:52 GMT -5
They've been impersonating this guy in instant messenger programs, yes? Do you have an email address that you know is his, and would it be possible to send him an email telling him everything? Also about the private meeting--could you go somewhere public but maybe give him a ride and linger in the car for a chat? Or a table in the corner, or a park bench on a quiet street... or do you feel you'd need complete and total privacy to talk about it? The playing games part... To me that sounds like he's interested in finding someone special, and not just a fling. All of this seems insanely complicated, but worth it if you really like him and can push yourself to untangle all the misunderstandings, since he can't see through them on his own right now. Tall orders for a shyie, but you seem to know what you're doing. |
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Post by lily on Aug 26, 2005 16:39:30 GMT -5
All of this seems insanely complicated You have NO idea. |
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shyni
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Post by shyni on Aug 26, 2005 23:08:00 GMT -5
you know what? that man is weird if I were you I would try to forget about the whole thing and ignore him. He's defenetely playing games so I guess when he said he didn't want a women that play games he meant it was because he was going to be the one playing games. I think that what he's doing is weird and annoying show him that you are too mature to play those games..
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