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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 28, 2004 13:11:08 GMT -5
That's very tough, redhead. It's never too late to go back: I got my Bachelor's at 37!
What are you doing to conquer your shyness? It sounds like you're ready to do something about it, but it seems hopeless, you don't know where to start, and you don't see how anything can be done anyway because your fears overwhelm you every time you try. Is that an accurate guess?
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Post by redhead on Apr 29, 2004 3:47:20 GMT -5
It sounds like you're ready to do something about it, but it seems hopeless, you don't know where to start, and you don't see how anything can be done anyway because your fears overwhelm you every time you try. Is that an accurate guess? yes, that is exactly how I feel
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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 29, 2004 9:37:00 GMT -5
Well, redhead, that's exactly how I felt, that's how I knew! If you read my Diary thread, you'll see that I've come a long way. A book that really helped me was "Shyness: A Bold New Approach," by Carducci. Lots of examples and research to make me realise you're not alone and that it is quite possible to overcome shyness, and lots of practical advice on how to do so. There are lots of things that make it easier, including: * Baby steps - slowly expand your comfort zone. Don't try and make giant leaps forward, because it's generally overwhelming and more than you can handle. * Warm-up period: Shy people are often less shy once they get through a warm-up period. During this time, we tend to want to observe rather than participate, then once we start feeling comfortable, we begin opening up. * Focus on others, from observing them to asking questions. This takes pressure off you and keeps you from obsessing about how you look, sound, act, etc. Observing also gives you perspective, because you start to realise that there are other shy people, that some nonshy people are boors you wouldn't want to be with anyway, and that everyone has "issues" but that others like them anyway. Or even because of. * Accept yourself. So hard to do...but if you can do something, even a tiny thing, that you were afraid to do before, and congratulate yourself for it, that is a huge step forward. Focusing on the positive moves you ahead. * Break negative thought patterns. Do whatever you have to when you find yourself thinking the situation is hopeless, I'm a loser, I'll never fit in, etc. I used to get in the car, go somewhere private (the highway) and sing along with the radio at the top of my lungs. It worked. Hard to feel down when you're belting out Dancing Queen by Abba. ;D Hope that helps, and keep your chin up!
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