Thinking of quiting college

[Kaytrina]

Hi gang. First post. I started college a few weeks ago. I'm shy and I have found myself alone for most of the first few weeks. The others in my class have lunch together in colege. I make excuses. I say things like I have to get a book from a library or something. They are planning a class night out for a few weeks time. I am dreading it. Basically, I feel like quitting but I have worked so hard to get here. Any advice would be superb.

[spiridon]

Focus on your studies and get good grades. It worked for me - I was practically friendless throughout college, but I used almost all my spare time to study and occasionally surf the Web attending forums and chatrooms (nice illusion of real communication). And that's what I do now in medical school, where studying is emphasized much more. Good academic standing is a great way to boost your self-esteem.
Important note: an occasional bad grade on one test is not the end of the world and it won't hurt you much overall. Treat it as a good learning experience and don't beat yourself up!

[Boglin]

Do not quit. If you quit, you're just going to beat yourself up later for letting your shyness stand between you and college. Since you aren't going to save yourself misery by quiting, you might as well choose the misery that's going to get you a degree.
That said, you should also know that it really does get better. I spent most of my first two years in college alone. I didn't really join clubs or show up to activites. I mostly spent time alone in my room (like I'm doing right now However, by your Junior year or so, things will get a bit better. First off, you'll be a bit more used to these people. It's sounds like, right now, you're being pushed faster than you want to go. If you're not comfortable with that, then don't do it. Maybe, once you've been around longer and have gotten to know these people better you might be up for some lmiited interaction. In the mean time, do some reading or just stick to your studies. You can make friends when you are ready to.
It also gets better because the classes get smaller. Right now you're probably in a bunch of giant freshman weedout courses designed to separate out the chaff. However, by the time you're a junior, most of the class will have been whittled away and you will actually be able to recognize your classmates. Furthermore, you'll have common experiences, so it'll be a bit easier to get into the conversation.
So, as someone who's been there (and is kind of still there), don't quit. Yes, this class night out is going to stink. So is a large portion of your freshman year. But college gets better after a year or two. If you give in and quit, you're probably going to be kicking yourself over it for a long time to come.

[spitzig]

If you quit, is your life going to be better? You'll probably have to work at some crappy job--with ANOTHER new set of people. And, that crappy job won't have a graduation, after which you get to do some job you like(or at least where you make a decent amount of money).

[Rio]

Have to agree with Spitzig, DONT QUIT!!!,

im guessing you hated school? and were looking for an escape? You'll probably find your not alone in this opinion, well just work hard, make a few close friends, like if you dont like groups then just talk on a one to one basis.

At least people are inviting you out, that means they accept you and they[glow=red,2,300] want [/glow]to hang out with you

I think this group night out thing is a good idea, even if you only go for an hour or so, if not then how about suggesting the cinema? at least you dont have to talk ;D

[M1chael]

Dont give up.
Drop the class, act like a snob. whatever.
-
The posts above cover it nicely, but fuck the class and tell them you have other plans that evening.

[SADdaydreamer]

good advice everybody...It's true, quitting college will not solve anything and you will still have to interact with people to some extent. I know the feeling of social inferiority and loneliness all too well... and I can see how this get together can pose a problem and anxiety. The hard truth is, in order to conqer anxiety/fear, you have to face it. This doesn't mean go from one extreme to another. If you feel it will cause to much anxiety to attend, then don't go. Work your way up to that level if you want to. I think in order to make changes, we all have to cope with pain and discomfort. This is my first semester of college as well. I'm taking 2 classes, the biggest one has 12 people. I had to read a page in front of a 12 person class. I knew before hand that my face would turn red and I would studder. I knew if I didn't do it it would not solve anything. I faced my fear and believe it has made me all the more stronger, even though I wanted to dissapear at the time. I told myself I'm proud of myself---as corny as that sounds, but that was a huge ordeal for me. A good thing to ask yourself:
"Will this matter 5 years from now? 1 year?"

[Shypuppy17]

Don't quit. Get your education. Make an effort to socialize but remember, your acamdemics come first. After all, thats the reason you are in college. Quitting will make you feel worse.

[Boblouie58]

Stay in college or you will regret it the rest of your life.
If you live in a dorm you probably have a roommate., get to know this person well. Then branch out to others as you all are basically "in the same boat" not knowing anyone from home. College allows you to grow up, to be challenged in your studies, to meet people and they you. Quit feeling so sorry for yourself and when you see others at lunch carry your tray over to their table and say, "may I join you"? People are people and some are rather insensitive to situations but hey! don't ...sweat the small stuff.

[Ghost]

Agreeing all the way: don't quit. It's your future what we're talking about and you will not feel any better when you drop out. By doing that you would also let your social anxiety rule over.

[mere phantom]

do NOT quit, that is what the world would like for u to do

college isnt about just lunch and weekends, get an education to get a decent job for YOUR future

[HAZE]

i cant think of anything else better to say.. well done done good people gold stars all round. and as for you lady.. just dont even think twice..just get the grades you want and move on, if its really something you want to make yourself in. i know its hard..believe me..i made this mistake twice and it took me along time to recover. you'll be much happyer with yourself in the long-run if you just keep it up. just try not to think about them..thats what got me out..concentrate on your work which is the main reason to be in college in the first place..not to act out all high and mighty like most of them.. just take alook at where most of them end up after the whole experience is over.

Okay then, il look forward to hearing back from you soon and remember you have a this place to come and vent if you need to.. your'll be fine

[Reflection]

I can relate sooo much to this entry! I'm in college right now and feel lonely, too. But please don't drop out. You just have to get through a few years and get your degree; that's the reason you're in college to begin with! Nobody ever said that the things you have to do would be a piece of cake.

Besides, as some noters already pointed out; if you dropped out of college, what would you do? You'd have to be around new people anyway and you'd most likely get a job that wouldn't pay as well as one you could obtain if you had a college degree.

If I were you, I would accept those people's invitation to eat with them, even if you say you have to leave early because you have class or whatever. Freshman year is one of the best times to meet people because everyone is in the same position you are; they don't know anyone yet and they *want* to make friends. By sophomore year, people already have their own groups and it's much harder.

[tom c]

Kaytrina, my advice would be to at least stay in school until you get your bachelor's degree and then take it from there. At least you'll be in the league of people with 4 year degrees- just look in the paper and see how many good jobs say "must have bachelors". I quit college when I was 20, thinking it wasn't my style, and then went back at 31, after years of working at jobs with no future (or no future that I QUALIFIED for).

And while I feel like I'm definitely doing the right thing, it still sucks at times being an older student. I'm not as excitable as them- when they think of the new house and the Corvette, I think of the roof leak and the bills! But on the brighter side, there was no internet when I first enrolled in college- so things are a little higher tech. now!

So don't quit, you're doing what you should be doing exactly what you should be at your age, and I'm doing what I should've done at your age. If you really hate it, maybe try to go on a foreign study for a year in Australia or China or something wild!

[redhead]

I quit uni after three days..THREE days!! I made out to everyone that it was because I didn't want to study anymore and needed a reality check by going there to realise that. I even convinced myself this was the reason, but really it was because of my shyness. The thought of making new friends, socialising and having to introduce myself etc was just too much to bear so I wimped out and came home.

Wish I'd just stayed and got my degree now, after all im used to being a loner after 7 years of it in 'high school'.

My shyness is just getting worse and worse and the more I'm sat at home unemployed the more depressed and paranoid i become.