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Post by Alecto on Jan 27, 2004 16:05:54 GMT -5
While in school I was extremely shy. Since I graduated 2 years ago, I hardly run in to my old classmates.But When I do, one of the first things they say to me is, "are you still quiet?" or some thing to that affect. Its really annoying. I would think maybe a nice " how have you been doing?' or "what have you been up to?' question would be more appropriate, but all they seem to be concerned about is my shyness. Does anyone else run into this
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Post by Jarous on Jan 28, 2004 12:45:26 GMT -5
I know such remarks hurt - especially from people you care for, but can't you laugh at it and just retorn with a nice "Still so big-mouthed?" or something like that?
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Post by Alecto on Jan 28, 2004 18:58:41 GMT -5
Haha, I could do some thing like that. Some times if I'm in a bad mood and some one says, "You're so shy", or " You're so quiet". I'll usually reply with something like, " no shit", its interesting to see the looks on their faces  |
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Post by EdgedInBlue on Jan 29, 2004 4:05:02 GMT -5
Oh god, I hate it when I run into people from my past! My memories of most of them havn't been good ones so when they ask how I'm doing I feel like saying "well, therapy is working quite well. It's prepared me for times when I'd meet sadistic little bastards from school like yourselves". But a smile, " doin' good, how about you?" and an alibi should work
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Post by canisay182 on Mar 6, 2004 0:36:37 GMT -5
i havent graduated yet but i hate seeing people that act like that too. people can be SO insensitive sometimes.  i like your comebacks though. ;D well good luck  |
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Ghost
Full Member
Posts: 220
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Post by Ghost on Mar 6, 2004 4:34:10 GMT -5
People never ask me if I am still that quiet. maybe a few times, but I can't remember that. If I come at a rare occasion across a old schoolmate, they only ask how I am doing or greet. If I recognize them I do the same I actually work with someone who is going to my former school... I thought I heard the name of my school being dropped when she talked to someone and when I asked her, she confirmed. When I asked "Is it still that bad?" she said "It's worse" ;D. Sidenote: I was long gone before she entered the school, otherwise I wouldn't have brought up the subject when she could've known about my "secret past"  |
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Post by spitzig on Mar 9, 2004 23:15:31 GMT -5
Fortunately, I live in another state, so I don't run into people from high school. My parents moved to the next state over, which isn't far, but means I am likely to never go through my old hometown again.
I used to live in the town for a couple years after graduating college. I ran into a couple of people, but I'd only barely knew them in high school. I think I saw one girl I'd had a crush on with kids, though. The people I disliked in HS, probably would not have done well in college. If they even went.
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Post by Shypuppy17 on Mar 22, 2004 20:29:40 GMT -5
Just recently, I saw one of my former teachers from highschool. I've been out of high school for 9 years now. My teacher asked me if I was still quiet and when I started talking to her, she couldn't believe how I changed. Also, I did run into a classmate and she had the nerve to say "I can't believe a guy married you. You were so quiet." I told her, "I don't think you found love yet."
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Post by Jarous on Mar 23, 2004 0:32:37 GMT -5
Also, I did run into a classmate and she had the nerve to say "I can't believe a guy married you. You were so quiet." I told her, "I don't think you found love yet." Well done, that should teach her something about good manners. People could be so cruel (even if unwitingly). I know it's bad to repay in the same way that hurt you but, man, I'd like to see her expression... |
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Post by Japanese on Apr 5, 2004 21:11:32 GMT -5
I was asked by a couple of people, "Are you still depressed?" At first, I just replied "Do I look like I am depressed?" Then he goes, "No, but you are just as quiet as before..." God, just give me a freedom to be quiet! |
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European
New Member
Be yourself.. is it so easy as it sounds?
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Post by European on Apr 13, 2004 12:52:36 GMT -5
Yep, people have asked me such questions: "Why don`t you talk to us", "Why are you such quiet" and said that I look extremely shy.. But now thanks God I`ve changed, now I can talk, maybe not much, but talk. I have to say it isn`t nice to hear such questions and reproaches. What do they expect? That I will start telling why I`m so quiet, that I`m shy etc.? Stupid.. In my case all these questions were because they really cared about me and they wanted me to become more open.. It happened on my trip to Germany where I went with an unknown group of students. I was really quiet there and I have to say it was really disastrous! I didn`t know what to say, where to go, what to do.. I think they started to think that I`m mute and nitwit.. It was so humiliating that I still can remember that. But I have changed now, now I`m pretty caddish.. perhaps sometimes I still feel modest, but noone anymore has asked me why I`m so strange.. I think that experience was very useful for me and after that trip a lot of things have changed.. till that moment I was getting more and more self conscious but after that I started overcoming my shyness. And I`m proud with that. I think that really helped me and I`m sure it`s possible to get out of your shell, to become more outgoing.. Now I thinkthere is nothing impossible there, but some months ago I thought a bit different way.
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Post by Bashfulme on Apr 15, 2004 2:44:41 GMT -5
I was standing with my boyfriend a while back and he was talking to a very talkative and bubbly woman who will never shut up, she goes on and on... anyways, I was not really participating in the conversation so she said after awhile "you're really quiet" (this has happened to me quite a few times in the past) What AM i supposed to say to that? I just shrugged it off, but I felt like saying something rude like
"yeah, and you talk too much, so, big deal" or
" and you are terribly loud and annoying" or
"well at least I can hear myself think" or
"well, thank you for stating the obvious, but at least i'm not rude to people" (For lack of better comments)
I don't understand why people have to think that there is nothing wrong with talking too much-actually that it is something to be proud of whereas if you don't talk very much, there is something wrong with you.
I think that people have no idea that they are hurting my feelings when they say "you're quiet" or "you don't talk very much". Why must they state the obvious. Really, I don't think they would care too much even if they did know, because they don't understand what it is like being shy.
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Post by Japanese on Apr 16, 2004 1:45:13 GMT -5
I don't understand why people have to think that there is nothing wrong with talking too much-actually that it is something to be proud of whereas if you don't talk very much, there is something wrong with you. Bashfulme, I will invite you to my country one day. The situation is totally opposite. Over there, quiet people have more chances to be welcomed (and accepted) than loud talkers. |
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Post by Alecto on Apr 16, 2004 18:53:34 GMT -5
I see what you're saying bashfulme, my boyfriend and his friends are very talkative people, and sometimes somebody will say, "you're so quiet" I usually feel like saying "no shit", but I'm just like "yeah, I know"
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Post by CaryGrant on Apr 19, 2004 10:11:18 GMT -5
Actually, I like your second response. You're confirming their brilliant observation of the obvious, and if you say it in a way that shows a) you know you're quiet, and b) you're fine with that, it shows confidence and self-acceptance, both very attractive qualities.
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i like your comebacks though. ;D well good luck 
