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Post by canisay182 on Feb 16, 2004 21:16:34 GMT -5
some people are complete idiots! last week i heard this guy was going to ask me to the dance and i hate rejecting poeple so i started talking loudly about my "boyfriend" (who doesn't really exist) when he walked by. some guy overheard me talking and he came up to me and said "you dont seem like the kind of girl who would have a boyfriend." at first i was completly embarassed but then he said it was because i was shy. i mean dont we deserve to have boyfriends or girlfriends? should we just like be locked away from every other person on the planet because were shy? people are so annoying!
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Post by Alecto on Feb 16, 2004 21:49:30 GMT -5
That guy sounds like a jerk. i've had similar comments from people when they find out I have a boyfriend. It gets very annoying
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Post by Shypuppy17 on Feb 21, 2004 0:37:41 GMT -5
That guy was rude. I met my boyfriend in college who later became my husband and some of my classmates used to say, "you're so quiet, we didn't think you would be the type to have a boyfriend." Some people are so ignorant. Some people can say hurtful and they don't even know how much it hurts the victim.
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Post by Placido on Feb 21, 2004 1:41:28 GMT -5
As Morrissey once sang:
I am human and I have a right to be loved, just like anybody else does.
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Post by shorty on Feb 24, 2004 23:58:12 GMT -5
I understand completely. The worst thing in the world to hear is, "oh, but you're so quite." or "you're so shy." why don't people understand that everyone goes through shy times. that doesn't make you who you are as a person.
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Post by Jarous on Feb 25, 2004 0:09:42 GMT -5
The worst thing in the world to hear is, "oh, but you're so quite." or "you're so shy." why don't people understand that everyone goes through shy times. that doesn't make you who you are as a person. Oh, but it does. Shyness is a big part of our personalities and we should learn to accept it (by then it would hopefully stop crippling our lives). On the subject of people's comments like 'I haven't expected you to do this...', try to see it trough their eyes. They probably truely haven't (be honest, you haven't yourself!) and maybe are just in a loss of words. Sure, they could be more tactful, but again, they have no real experience with this and can't understand how it hurts. |
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Post by spitzig on Feb 25, 2004 14:40:21 GMT -5
Oh, but it does. Shyness is a big part of our personalities and we should learn to accept it (by then it would hopefully stop crippling our lives). I disagree. I do not consider it a personality trait. I consider it a reaction. This is in contrast to introversion/extroversion, which I do consider a personality trait. I think the difference is key in the degree to which they are changeable. |
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Post by Jarous on Feb 25, 2004 15:33:23 GMT -5
I disagree. I do not consider it a personality trait. I consider it a reaction. This is in contrast to introversion/extroversion, which I do consider a personality trait. I think the difference is key in the degree to which they are changeable. I concede the point. My mistake. But the two are usually interlocked (alright, not always). Can we eliminate a physical/mental reaction altogether? My bet is we'd better learn how to adapt our life-styles to it. |
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Post by spitzig on Feb 28, 2004 23:22:18 GMT -5
Can we eliminate a physical/mental reaction altogether? What do you mean? |
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Post by Jarous on Feb 29, 2004 2:13:22 GMT -5
As you said shyness is a reaction to external events. I mean if we have all our lives reacted to say speaking with opposite sex by blushing, can we ever control it, stop blushing and react in a more 'normal' way? I honestly can't distinguish between traits and reactions on this level - they both form our personality and I believe we can never diametrically change them and alter our nature. |
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Post by spitzig on Mar 1, 2004 1:10:59 GMT -5
As you said shyness is a reaction to external events. I mean if we have all our lives reacted to say speaking with opposite sex by blushing, can we ever control it, stop blushing and react in a more 'normal' way? I honestly can't distinguish between traits and reactions on this level - they both form our personality and I believe we can never diametrically change them and alter our nature. Well, I do think that being anxious about things is a reaction, and not a trait. Blushing would be both. Different people have the capillaries fire in different amounts(or whatever causes blushing). This is somewhat controllable with medication. However, WHY does a person blush? If it's anxiety/embarrassment, I do think that is controllable. Also, blushing often causes anxiety/embarrassment, I think THAT anxiety/embarrassment is controllable, as well. Personally, I'm not that bothered by having a red face. I read a book where someone discussed their opinion of parties. She used to be shy and anxious about them. After a lot of meditating, she learned to not be anxious about them. She was still introverted and didn't particularly enjoy them, though. |
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