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Post by trabajo on Feb 19, 2004 17:00:10 GMT -5
I find it so depressing to look for a job. every employer naturally wants enthusiastic, vibrant, driven, talkative, hard-working employees.
but being cripplingly shy, i have no experiences that i can put forward to employers to convince them that i am any of these things. i don't even think i am any of these things anymore. i'm not good at making friends or being friendly with people i work with, so i have no genuine references.
basically i'm screwed even when trying to get the most pathetic demeaning jobs.
going round and round in my head thinking about it makes me even more depressed. and depression makes the whole situation even worse, i'm even harder to sell as an employee.
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Post by Boblouie58 on Feb 19, 2004 22:50:20 GMT -5
I never worked at anything until I finished college then I went to work for a very large Bank in Texas. It really scared me at first, as I didn't know anything but as I went along with the people helping me I grew more confidence in what I was doing. You don't indicate how old you are nor what kind of work you would be good at or if you are "a fast learner"? Many people who haven't had a job before or are unsure of themselves start out as a dishwasher at a restaurant or some such to be around other workers. As you gain "work experience", you can apply for other jobs and continue to work yourself up the ladder of success or the corporate ladder. Heck, just be "honest with an employer" and tell him/her you have no experience, you are shy BUT you are willing to learn and will be someone who can report to work on time. Not every place you try will accept you on these terms but someone somewhere will "take a chance on you" and when they do...you do your darndest to do a very good job for him/her and the company. Good luck!
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Ghost
Full Member
Posts: 220
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Post by Ghost on Feb 27, 2004 15:19:32 GMT -5
Think of it this way: most employers will like someone who is calm and not that loud or easily distracted. Don't worry, almost all people have some trouble with applying for a job. It's natural
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Post by Glass on Feb 29, 2004 0:34:15 GMT -5
Yeah, I get the same impression when I've gone for some part time work. I'm a uni-student. U know u'r in trouble when they start answering for you Just cause someone talks more doesn't mean their anymore dedicated to the job, or commited. So it is annoying.
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Post by Jarous on Feb 29, 2004 4:34:46 GMT -5
Action should speak for the person, not words. I believe many of us would make the best employees with excellent expertise, knowledge, patience, dedication and reliability. Alas, none of this can be seen during interviews (and not only job int.) and we usually end up rejected. I think there should be more jobs deciding upon performance within say a test month, but even so the employers would have to somehow decide whom to include in it. And that will again exclude us. What remains then is honesty. Do not try to pretend you're confident/outgoing whatever. You'll leave an impression you're hiding something or acting unnatural/strange. Say openly you're shy a lot, but have this list of skills and are willing to improve in whatever is needed. Hopefully, the interviewer will appreciate the courage you had to muster to tell him and with regard to your (reported) abilities will give you a chance to prove you're up to the job.
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Post by glenn miller on Mar 1, 2004 12:02:11 GMT -5
yeah i should try that. since i have had a hard time getting a job. and not that good with interviews.
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Post by traveljunkie on Mar 1, 2004 13:36:58 GMT -5
I have done enough interviews over the years that I can put on a good game face. I guess as a survival instinct I have become a very good BS'er when it comes down to interview time. When it comes to having a roof over your head and eating. You do what you have to do.
When I do get hired. I feel that my employers tend to think what happened to that confident person I hired and start to wonder who they did hire. lol Too late for them. ;D
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Post by Alecto on Mar 1, 2004 19:54:57 GMT -5
I'm pretty good at BSing and acting confident during an interview also... I suppose survival skills do come into play. They probably are wondering what happened to that confident outgoing person they hired
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Post by glenn miller on May 18, 2004 1:13:14 GMT -5
yeah that is probebly true.
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laura
New Member
Posts: 22
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Post by laura on Jun 14, 2004 15:07:03 GMT -5
i am trying to find a job too. all my life people yelled at me or balmed me for things becuase i wouldn't stick up for myself. i have absolutly no confidence in doing anything right. i'm afraid i'll screw up and people will yell at me or make me feel crappy again.
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Post by jill on Jul 7, 2004 22:03:47 GMT -5
I also need to find a better job and have put it off . I fear the interviews the most and the whole looking for jobs in general
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Post by sadsadsoul on Jul 8, 2004 3:55:14 GMT -5
Yeah, don't most jobs require references? If you have not one single friend nor acquaintance what can you do? Tell the truth, or is that too weird.
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Post by paralyzed on Jul 17, 2004 7:42:41 GMT -5
God I feel so at home in this thread!! I have a crappy job and am so hesitant to go apply for a job that has a decent future. I have a weak job history and therfore poor references. I'm fairly certain most employers want references from previous employers, not friends.
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Post by trabajo on Jul 29, 2004 13:08:50 GMT -5
wow, it's cool that i come back to find this thread filling up with more and more folks like me, it's a sad situation but it's kind of reassuring.
i finally managed to get a job. i was so grateful to get it that i like it, but it's quite grimey to be honest and barely gives me any money at all.
i get all kinds of shit from family telling me to find a better job but i just can't step up to it yet. my self esteem is pretty shitty, and i know that i can't yet make myself act the part in any kind of interview.
i guess for us it's a slow process, building confidence and skills and experience up to a marketable level.
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Post by losergeek1138 on Jul 29, 2004 14:24:44 GMT -5
the lack of reference thing has hurt me too. i've always had to put parents' friends down as references which makes me feel wierd. i've had a couple jobs and they were both pointless "teenage" minimum wage jobs. also on the job is the place i'm likely to be LEAST apt to socialize. when i worked at the movie theater everyone hated me cause I was pretty much anti social and got fed up with all the slacker teenagers making MY job harder, because I had to make sure i worked in an exemplary manner in the technical aspects of the job to cover for my complete lack of people skills in order not to get fired.
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