1 or many

[fallen]

Hi every1, i was wondering do u get more nervous by talkin to some1 alone or talkin in a group.
for some reason i find it much easier to talk in a group maybe cuz theres not as much attension on u even if its alot of people , when its too 1 person i start gettin paraniod more than my normal paraniod self. thats it basicly

[Japanese]

When I know very much about the topic, I can enjoy talking in a group. But otherwise it just makes me feel nervous about revealing my ignorance to them.

In general, I prefer one-on-one situation, because I am getting all the attention from the other party. Not that I enjoy getting attention per se, but it just means when the other party pays attention to what I say, I have a better control over the conversation than otherwise.

[Jarous]

There are times in a group conversation when I simply want the others to fall silent (or disappear) and allow me to say what I mean.
But there are also times in one-on-one talk when I'd give anything someone would come and join because I am running out of words and can feel the panic building inside...

if I had to choose, though, groups (of sympathetic people) are better for me. I can live easier with a feling of regret of what I had not said than with a burning embarrasement of stupidities I said only to avoid an awkward silence.

[Reflection]

I have always found it easier to talk to someone one-on-one. In a group, I tend to get very quiet and really self-conscious because I am usually the only one not talking or not saying much, and I feel like everyone notices. One-on-one, I am *forced* to talk. It's easier because I'm more self-conscious when I'm quiet than when I actually speak.

Guest-fallen said:

for some reason i find it much easier to talk in a group maybe cuz theres not as much attension on u even if its alot of people , when its too 1 person i start gettin paraniod more than my normal paraniod self. thats it basicly

I never thought about it like that...interesting...

[Nicole]

I'm the same way as you, Reflection: I'm much better with one-on-one communication.

I hate groups where I'm expected to talk, especially classroom settings. Most of my graduate classes are seminars where we're supposed to contribute, and all I can do is obsess about the fact that I'm not saying anything. I'm screaming at myself inside, "Say something! Anything!" but my mind goes blank in such situations.

I just discovered Klonopin, though, which I've resolved only to take on an "as-needed" basis. When I take it, I go from being silent and shy to outgoing and talkative. Yesterday, I raised my hand in class more than anybody else and initiated a lively discussion. I feel like a new person, really. I wish it was safe enough to take everyday, but I don't want to develop a tolerance. (And there are drawbacks - after class, I promptly went home and went to sleep.) I did draw some astonished looks from people in class, though; I think it's the first time they've ever heard me speak.

[Alecto]

I don't know. I'm kind of wierd about it. If I'm with a group of friends/co-workers I feel uncomfortable, and would prefer 1 on 1 conversation. But if I'm having to read something in church or give a speech, I'm perfectly fine with it as long as I know what I'm talking about

[European]

Well.. I think one-on-one is better but it depends on circumstances, e.g. I can talk one-on-one with my friends, parents, brother, relatives, shop-assitent.. But there are also situtations when I just don`t know what to say, how to start/continue conversation and then I better prefer to be in a large company where everyone is talking and I shouln't worry about keeping on the conversation.. On the other I use to "disappear" in large group if you know what I mean.. everyone is talking, laughing.. except me. But sometimes I use to be evry outgoing in a group, talking almost more than anyone else.. so it depends on my mood, other people, topic .. Anyway I think it`s easier for me to talk one-on-one because I just can't/don't like to speak in large groups, to discuss, to say my opinion.. I feel stupid then and that's the thing I would like to improve.. somehow

[CaryGrant]

Depends upon the situation and people. If I feel passionately about the subject or know it well, if I know the people well, then I certainly find speaking up easier. If it's a loud party crowd, I'm not interested.

One-on-one - depends to an extent on the other person. I'm trying to reduce this by learning how to ask questions, and to better understand all types of people.

With women I am highly attracted to, I can usually talk up a storm, but get progressively more wound up and nervous, and eventually have to flee. Working on this, too, lol.

[Evarie Fayore]

I personally prefer one-on-one situations since you are sort of forced to participate whereas in group situations, the temptation to take a back seat to the action is too strong.
Although, when I'm in a one-on-one situation for too long, I often get the urge to flee. I think it's a combination of not wanting to ruin a "successful" social interaction by embarrassing myself, running out of things to say and a fear of appearing boring.

[Bashfulme]

Personally I find that conversations with 2 other people suit me the best. If I am one-to-one depending with whom I am speaking, I often haven't got enough to say or I feel I am boring to talk to. In a group of people, I often take the back-seat of the conversation and hardly say a word the entire time. When talking with 2 others, usually there is someone else there who will think of something interesting to say so I won't feel as responsible if the conversation becomes boring or there is nothing to talk about. Also, I usually speak up more because I don't feel as self-conscious because there are less people.

It really all depends on who I'm talking to.

[mind]

I hate talking in any situation, but i find it far easier and comfortable speaking to somebody one on one when it's the kind of person that can put you right at ease. They just seem to understand that your shy, not get too put off about it but at the same time don't steal the whole conversation ...if you know what i mean? They have the remarkable ability to 'teach' you how to have a 'proper' conversation where you find yourself doin a decent bit of talkin for once.

[glenn miller]

same here. i can only speak 1 on 1. and mostly with someone that is not that talkative. like me.