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Post by Jacobin on Aug 31, 2004 20:14:40 GMT -5
HUUHH??? Let me explain. My problem seems to be that when im with shy ppl im very extrovert, outgoing, funny and creative. But when i run across some outgoing persons I tend to be shy and wordless, i get intimidated. Its the same topic as my last one but rephrased and improved ;D Ill read the Carducci book for now. You have the same problem? What are you doing to overcome it? Im open to all kind of suggestions and stories.  |
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Post by glenn miller on Sept 1, 2004 16:10:20 GMT -5
i am the same way. when i with shy people like me. then i talk more. and when i am with people tha ttalk more. i dont say any thing.
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Post by Purranha on Sept 2, 2004 13:32:07 GMT -5
I'm shy around everyone but its always worse around extroverted people. I'm not doing anything to overcome it though, nor do I really want to. I'd rather be friends with introverted people, like me.
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Kali
New Member
Posts: 35
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Post by Kali on Sept 2, 2004 15:16:33 GMT -5
I am a lot shyer around extroverted people as well. I think it’s because they talk more and I often find it difficult figure out when should say something. I tend to think that extroverts are more likely to insult me in front of others too, and I’m sure that also has something to do with it. I have no idea how to overcome this or my shyness in general, so I can’t really be much help in that respect.
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Post by GreenFerret on Sept 2, 2004 21:59:56 GMT -5
I know what you mean, Jacobin. When I'm with a person who's shy, I can become the sort of open, interesting person I only wish I could be at other times. And I think it really is true that an extrovert is more likely to insult you in a conversation. A lot of the louder extroverts use a little bit of shock-value and frankness to the point of being rude in order to "spice up" the conversation, in situations when a shy person would be too thoughtful--or too hesitant--to comment.
I have one story... When I was in middle school, my sister and I would sometimes walk up the road to go play with the daughters of our parents' friends. Being the oldest (by only a year) and in the presence of my sometimes-shy sister allowed me to be not only loud, playful, and fun--but I was a leader. I came up with most of the games, and led many of the conversations... It was great. But in all other situations, particularly in school, I was so painfully shy, many people spoke to me as though I were mentally handicapped, and a lot weren't sure if I was actually capable of speech.
I didn't even think about the difference until one day, the girl who was only a year younger than me told me I should go to this upcoming dance at her private school with her and her friends. I was at first amazed that she would think I would even be able to function at an event like that... And then it hit me that she'd always seen me as this extroverted girl. I told her I was too shy to go, and she seemed surprised... But the next year, she went to my high school and rode my bus, and she sat next to me on the first or second day of school. It didn't matter that I'd known her for years--I couldn't act normal. I was terribly shy, and very uptight, and could barely talk to her; school sorta does that to me, I guess. We were never friends after that, because I was never able to act normally around her after she had seen me as a shy person. I just hate the thought that somewhere under it all, I'm this friendly, interesting person; but hardly anyone gets to see that, and it, quite simply, sucks.
What I'm doing to get over all of this, right now, is just trying to always think of good reasons to talk to people. Like when I call the guy I like (the few times I do), I have to sit down and write out a list of legitimate reasons why I should go ahead with it; otherwise, it's just too difficult. And even then, it has taken me probably about an hour of feeling absolutely sick before I can get up the courage and dial the number. In classes at college, I try to keep my eyes peeled and my mind open for comments I could make or especially questions I could ask if I saw a classmate outside of class. I've only been able to fully implement this plan once so far, but the reaction to my question was pretty good, and I feel like I could do it again. I'm hoping to keep taking small steps like this until I can just talk to people--at least the people in my classes--without needing an excuse.
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Post by glenn miller on Sept 5, 2004 5:09:31 GMT -5
it is hard
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Post by CaryGrant on Sept 7, 2004 11:23:06 GMT -5
Introversion...............................................You.............................Extroversion
Think of introversion/extroversion as a continuum, and you're perhaps in the middle. This makes YOU extroverted in comparison to some people!
With people who are more extroverted than you, however, you don't know how to interact to compete with their outgoingness - which might be just fine with you. You can enjoy their, to you, over-the-top behavior, without feeling obliged to participate. This is why I avoid noisy bars and raucous parties - you have to be an extreme extrovert to be noticed, and I'm not.
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Post by mebaby on Sept 8, 2004 16:15:06 GMT -5
omg! that story totally hit home. sometimes i go with my brother to hang out with a neighbor of ours and alround him i am a very loud, outgoing, funny, chats up a storm kind of person. He had told me that i am fun to hang out with and hilarious and i can really be myself around him. For some reason if he went to my school i do not think i would be able to act the same around him. If he ever saw the way i am in school and around other people i think he would be shocked beyond beleif. I don't know the reasoning behind it but i wish i could act the way i do aruond him with people all the time!
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