Afraid to State your opinions?

[wagnerr]

This has happened to me as long as i can remember. I state my opinion, either vocally or in a discussion forum, and i put a lot of heart and thought into it.

Then, later, when i get either get replies or comments about what i just said or wrote, i feel exposed and vulnerable, like i've opened myself up to people i hardly know, and i become fearful that i perhaps mispoke.

Then, inevitably, comes the expected criticism of what i've said or posted, and i feel like crap.

This doesn't happen here; Here, i feel i can post with impunity. I mean on our school's discussion forum, where we are required to participate and post our opinions about things we have been studying. Too often i feel personally attacked for my political views, because everyone around me seems to think in the other direction.

We never talk about current politics; my professor is always careful to steer away from that. But he encourages us in class to think critically about past problems and situations. Whenever i formulate my opinion or analysis, i state it and try to have integrity about it.

Then, everyone else seems to side against me for my views, and they all agree with one another, and i feel so isoloted. I'm beginning to shut up and keep silent in class because of this, and i don't want to clam up, but i'm too afraid of everyone ganging up on me.

At times i feel they are simply attacking me because i'm a good target to shoot at; they never do it to anyone else.

[Tal]

Then, later, when i get either get replies or comments about what i just said or wrote, i feel exposed and vulnerable, like i've opened myself up to people i hardly know, and i become fearful that i perhaps mispoke.

When making your opinions public, you do open yourself up to criticism. That's unavoidable, unless you just parrot what others have said.

Personally I find it happens or I feel it could happen on any forum. There's no escape from it, other than silence. I sometimes envy those people who can make a confident argument and stick with it despite overwhelming criticism. On the other hand, I think the ultimate form of wisdom is to be unsure of everything and never to unquestioningly believe something.

Criticism does hurt and you will be picked on if your oppontent perceives you to be an easy target, but you can always use it to further improve your arguments and your understanding of an issue.

Today I oppose things I would have supported only one or two years ago, all thanks to many people criticising me.

[Tal]

Balanced arguments are great for you to understand an issue. However I've found that if I state two sides to something, my words are often ignored. I think it comes across as indecisive. If you don't want to attract attention it can be useful, but if you do, its better to stick with one side of the argument.

[wagnerr]

talisman said:

On the other hand, I think the ultimate form of wisdom is to be unsure of everything and never to unquestioningly believe something.
quote]

You're very Socratic here, man.

[blondie86]

i know exactly how you feel russ, now i've become so bad i can't even state me opinions or make a simple decision. it's like all the criticism has dug so deep into my mind that i can't even express myself anymore. Someone asks my opinion or to make a decision and my mind subconciously goes completely blank.

[Medici]

Don't worry guys. Its really a phase that you grow out of eventually. I think it has a lot to do with being young and being in school. These days, school age people up through college don't really contribute anything to society and don't get paid well or recognized for their work, if they even do any. So many of them fall in a sense of ennui or something like that and become cynical, depressed, lacking in any kind of confidence, apathetic.

Not that this can't happen to older working people. It certainly does. But, as you get older you are valued for your work or you have a family that values you....things happen. Life changes. You just have to hang in there.

[wagnerr]

I learned somethign valuable from this rant and thread; i learned not to discuss my beliefs, of any topic, to anyone. Its really none of their goddamned buisness anyway.

So thanks, guys. I think i can avoid a lot of unwanted criticism and chalenges to my beliefs if i say as little as possible in the first place.

[Lonely Heart]

I feel exactly the same way wagnerr.

[wagnerr]

Maxine said:

Russ that was not the point we were making, stand your ground and shout your odds and if people challenge you have an arguement ready to back up your beliefs, if anything you might find if you can do it you'll feel a hell of a lot more confident about doing it in the future.

I didn't mean to be negative. I only meant that i would be careful of what i say in the future, especially with strangers. I tend to be too blunt about things.

[Moderator]

Everyone, is entitled to their opinion. I know some years back my husband never seem to have an opinion, or wanted to voice it.

Over time... I guess he felt more at ease to share it.

The thing that I feel is important is to remember that Everyone is Entitled to their opinion, just as we are.

That does not make it right or wrong, and often times can vary depending on your perspective of what you are discussing.

Where there seems to cause problems is when one has and voices their opinion and feelings, but does not see that others can have quite different opinions and/or feelings.

We just need to be open to allowing others to see things differently than we happen to. Doesn't make it right or wrong... Just different.

[pnoopiepnats]

yep all teh tiime. If I did that, noone would take to me. well that ist mostly happening anyways.