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Post by spikefan777 on Sept 25, 2005 15:51:53 GMT -5
So I'll be sitting with my group of friends at lunch on like a tuesday and we'll just be talking about ....stuff... and suddenly my friend... lets call her "Bob", will say something to "Joan" like "So what do you want for breakfast on saturday?" Their planning on having a sleep over you know? its bad enough not being invited but must they bring up their plans every 10 minutes? And why do they need to know like 5 days ahead of time what their going to have for breakfast? I don't know if "Bob" purposely says stuff like that to make me feel any worse about staying home, not having a life, on friday nights or what. So what do you guys think? Are my so called friends trying to rub it in my face? And why don't they invite me anyway? Do they think that because I'm shy that I don't do stuff like attend sleepovers?
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Sept 25, 2005 21:09:21 GMT -5
So I'll be sitting with my group of friends at lunch on like a tuesday and we'll just be talking about ....stuff... and suddenly my friend... lets call her "Bob", will say something to "Joan" like "So what do you want for breakfast on saturday?" Their planning on having a sleep over you know? its bad enough not being invited but must they bring up their plans every 10 minutes? And why do they need to know like 5 days ahead of time what their going to have for breakfast? I don't know if "Bob" purposely says stuff like that to make me feel any worse about staying home, not having a life, on friday nights or what. So what do you guys think? Are my so called friends trying to rub it in my face? And why don't they invite me anyway? Do they think that because I'm shy that I don't do stuff like attend sleepovers? Have they ever invited you to do anything in the past? ... and did you accept? Have you ever invited THEM to do anything? SS ================ |
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Post by shytothebone on Sept 26, 2005 1:55:44 GMT -5
No one ever wants to include me in on anything either because I'm shy and shy people tend to get labeled as loaners. Not like I would do something or go some where if someone asked but at least they can be considerate enough to ask.
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BrownKeys
Junior Member
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?
Posts: 99
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Post by BrownKeys on Sept 26, 2005 22:14:45 GMT -5
It sounds like your so-called friends are doing that on purpose. I only say this because that would also happen to me a lot with my so-called friends and other people. They just do it to make it seem like they are better than you are something and it can irritate the hell out of someone. I mean, why would you bring something like that up if you know the concersation automatically excludes someone else who is in your presense? Why can't they just talk about it in private?
Than again, they could also be doing that on purpose because they would like you to say "can I come too?" Maybe they are afraid to ask you upfront... I don't know
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Post by GreenFerret on Sept 27, 2005 3:17:42 GMT -5
Than again, they could also be doing that on purpose because they would like you to say "can I come too?" Maybe they are afraid to ask you upfront... I don't know I thought of that too... Maybe next time they do that, you could ask something like "breakfast? What have you two got planned?" and see if they take the opportunity to elaborate and extend an invitation. On the other hand, there's the likelihood that they are just thoughtless and too self-absorbed to care if anyone else overhears. In that case I really doubt they're trying to make you feel bad Spikefan--they're just dim-watt bulbs, and haven't thought about what they're saying beyond their next syllable. My best friend in fifth grade was also best friends with another girl that I didn't really know very well, and they would always talk about their plans together even when I was with them. I eventually realized that it had nothing to do with me, and all to do them being excited and too thoughtless to save it for another time. It's like couples who start fondling one another at friendly gatherings--it's kinda rude to the other people, and annoying when you just want to have a conversation, but most people aren't bothered enough to do more than cough politely and start a new conversation. You're probably not the only one in your group who thinks these two are full of themselves.  |
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Post by nameless on Oct 1, 2005 10:19:30 GMT -5
i remember my time in high school, i lost some very good friends because of one particular person. we were in a "tight" group, sat together in class, at lunch etc. i found out they were always meeting up after school whereas id only meet some of them now and again. i then found out it was this one particular guy was organising everything and just never asking me to come, he would even tell the rest that he had asked me and id said no! it was interesting a few years later to find out everyone thought he was really annoying and couldnt stand him! well, it made me feel better at least!
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Post by spikefan777 on Oct 1, 2005 11:30:33 GMT -5
i remember my time in high school, i lost some very good friends because of one particular person. we were in a "tight" group, sat together in class, at lunch etc. i found out they were always meeting up after school whereas id only meet some of them now and again. i then found out it was this one particular guy was organising everything and just never asking me to come, he would even tell the rest that he had asked me and id said no! it was interesting a few years later to find out everyone thought he was really annoying and couldnt stand him! well, it made me feel better at least! I'm so sorry. That's horrible. What a loser lol he so had that coming. ;D |
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Oct 1, 2005 11:39:07 GMT -5
i remember my time in high school, i lost some very good friends because of one particular person. we were in a "tight" group, sat together in class, at lunch etc. i found out they were always meeting up after school whereas id only meet some of them now and again. i then found out it was this one particular guy was organising everything and just never asking me to come, he would even tell the rest that he had asked me and id said no! it was interesting a few years later to find out everyone thought he was really annoying and couldnt stand him! well, it made me feel better at least! It's really nice when your own family does it to you. One time I lived about a mile from my mother and sister. I had to frequently listen to those two go on about all the shopping trips they went on, movies, and dinners they went to and not once did they ever invite me. Or how nice it was my parents didn't come to my college graduation. The most recent thing was how my mother lied to the rest of the family. I wanted her to go to the airport to see me off and she didn't want to and then she lied and said I never invited her and that I insisted she not go.  |
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Post by whynot0224 on Oct 1, 2005 16:48:46 GMT -5
Like someone in this thread stated, have they ever asked you this question or to do anything with them before?
The same thing has happened to me also. Yesterday, my friends were talking about going to the casino. I was in the other room reading and studying. Of course, I wanted them to ask me also but they never did. One of them knows that I like to gamble also. And by the time he finally did asked me, it was too late. They were about to head out the door! :rolleyes:
Sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask. And sometimes I wish I had the courage to ask if I could come along but I always think that's rude, so I never do. Opportunities always pass on by.
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Post by shygirl28 on Oct 1, 2005 21:30:58 GMT -5
I know how it feels. At work one night a while back, somebody was asking everybody except for me, if they wanted to go out. I felt hurt I wasn't asked. I didn't want to invite myself either. The next time I saw that person who made the plans, I confronted her & asked her why I was invited. She apologized & told me I wouldn't like to go out because I'm quiet. I told her that just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I don't like to go out & have fun. After that, she never spoke to me again. From my experience, people who say "your quiet, you don't like to go out" is just an excuse for them not to invite me because they don't like me. Sometimes, people who exclude don't relize they are hurting one's feelings. They aren't worth it.
One suggestion can be initiate a gathering. If they claim they are "busy," then they aren't worth your time
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Post by spikefan777 on Oct 2, 2005 13:26:05 GMT -5
And sometimes I wish I had the courage to ask if I could come along but I always think that's rude, so I never do. yea I thinks it rude to invite yourself too, but somehow people get away with it...  |
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Post by nameless on Oct 2, 2005 16:15:43 GMT -5
Like someone in this thread stated, have they ever asked you this question or to do anything with them before? The same thing has happened to me also. Yesterday, my friends were talking about going to the casino. I was in the other room reading and studying. Of course, I wanted them to ask me also but they never did. One of them knows that I like to gamble also. And by the time he finally did asked me, it was too late. They were about to head out the door! :rolleyes: Sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask. And sometimes I wish I had the courage to ask if I could come along but I always think that's rude, so I never do. Opportunities always pass on by. i know what you mean, you kinda feel like your tagging along! |
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