Meeting people you havent seen for a few years...

[Natasha]

Firts of all I would like to say WOW, finally a site where I can talk to people who can relate, not just partially understand what I am going through as a shy person but fully relate to my experiences, so I am happy to have stumbled upon this site.

Ok my dilema is that last October my cousin who I havent seen in 3 years ( she moved to America with her family while I satyed in the UK), asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, I agreed to be her bridesmaid, in fact I was honoured that she asked but right after I put the telephone down it dawned on me that I was going to have to meet her all over again, I am a very different person from the person I was 3/4 years ago Im not as confident as I was in fact I am very shy now. The prospect of meeting her and having her realise that The confident cousin who was once almost like a sister to her is now a shy stranger!!! Also the fact that America seems to be the land of the Ultra Confidet makes me nervous I feel like I am going to crush under the social pressure. her wedding is next saturday the 28th and i leave on the 26th, i am due to spend an entire week there with people i largely dont know. how will i cope? How on earth will I fill the gaps beyond the initial small talk. I feel as if my shyness will isolate me again and disapoint my relatives and her in-laws. has anyone ever been under similar stress?

[Natasha]

well thanks for the help and advise guys A nyway I had a great time on my holiday, I met lots of new people and I was so much more confident. I am so happy I went on the trip because it was a great confidence boost

[victor]

Well done.
Glad it was a positive experience.

[tasha]

tank you Victor

[Natasha]

Guest-natasha said:

tank you Victor

I mean Thank you lol

[victor]

Guest-Natasha said:

I mean Thank you lol

hehe.
So you weren't wishing a tank to roll over me.
That's good.

[glenn miller]

that is good it went a different way then u thought.

[franklin]

just be yourself i guess and be honest. I have been to a few weddings, as long as you dont wear something to revealing, dont chat to people or act like you are just there for the free food (and stuff yourself at other peoples expense while being rude to the other guests) most people i've seen at them seem fine.
I mean everyone, included those getting married are usually worried about things going well, and giving a good impression.
Sometimes just shaking hands, introducing yourself and getting to know the basics about some of the other people is the best idea.
Its a bit weird if the kind of ceremony you get groups of people in cliches of their own. But most i've been to there have been quite a few people there so you'd kind of need quite a few drinks to get to know everyone (and might look like a bit of a meglomanic if you went around shakey hands with everyone).
Some of my mates can put on quite a good public face at weddings, i couldnt be the life and soul of the party though, but if people see that and that youre trying i think you get a good response.
I wouldnt overdress (designer clothes at weddings to me are a no no, i cant afford any anyway) but on the other hand i havent been able to afford some nice clothes for some occasions once or twice and felt i was kind of letting the side down (it effected my ability to feel confident socialising at the events).
I think the old use it as an excuse to pull looks bad too. If you turn up over the age of 21 without someone it can feel abit like people think youre sharking (on the pull), mind you if you do turn up with someone there is the suggestion youre already quite commited to each other (i mean if i turned up with some different to each one id been to, relatives would say i was prehaps too well off or too lax morals) but i think you should be able to turn up with someone new if you are starting youre career, getting to know people (i mean in the oldern days they used to call it courting and alot of people even then i think had a few relationships before settling down, to me it makes sense you get to know a few people a bit then decide who you want to be with (both of you) permanently (or for the long term).

[Cassava]

It's good to hear you had a good time. I only joined this place yesterday so I couldn't give you advice.

When I read the first post I have to admit that you worrying about nothing. You mean a lot to your cousin if she asked you to be a bridesmaid so you should have been worked up about that.

As for the event itself - it would be a great place to meet new people. If things beecame uncomfortable your family would be there to talk to. It's not as if you were going to go to this thing and sit silently in the corner.