WHAT OTHER PPL THINK OF YOU ISN'T YOUR BUSINESS...

[crazywithin]

hi everyone,
i just joined this site yesterday.i was looking for some lace where i could voice my thoughs and feelings without worrying about being judged,etc.i'm sure a lot of you thought the same.
sometimes i feel real ooutgoing and sometimes i feel real shy.i was with some close friend sthe whole summer and i felt like i could do anything.
now, that i'm in a different country in school it's different.nobody knows me here and i'm finding it hard to make friends.so now i'm real shy,nervous,and it's killing me.(it brought me to tears of frustrarton a few times)
it's like whatever ppl think of me creates the person i feel i am! if they love me, i feel confidednt...if they ignore me, i feel like a geek...i'm have no idea what to do to start feeling confident,outgoing, and happy with myself again.
if anyone has ANY ideas , iwould reeally appreciate them.
cheers,
brad

[amy]

I know exactly how you feel. I've been thinking about this a lot lately so it was wierd to see your post. It's as if you become a different person depending on who your with. I feel that I can only see myself in the way I imagine other people see me. I get so caught up in the way that they see me that i become that person.
It's frustrating because if I imagine that the people i'm with see me as shy and arkward then i act that way. I can't seem to stop myself, i do it automatically. I just adapt and become the person that they see me as. I would really like to stop doing this. I'm never myself around other people and I find it really hard to share my thaughts and feelings. I just seem to take on other peoples thaughts and opinions. I think the only solution is just to take the risk and express yourself. Tell yourself it really doesnt matter what they think of you. Don't allow them to dictate to you who you should be or how you should feel. Only you should be allowed to tell yourself to feel happy or confident! I know this is really hard to do, and i havn't acctually been able to do it yet, but i think its the right sort of idea. Good luck in your new school, im sure you will find it easier as time goes on:) sorry if this whole ramble doesnt make any sense, im really not very good at expressing myself clearly.

[crazywithin]

damn,
that was some good stuff!
and you know what, it's nice to know there's other ppl out there like me.
thank you,
cheers,
brad,
p.s.next time, post your picture...

[Jarous]

It's true, we are largely products of the environments we live in. It's very hard to act confident when everyone treats you like dirt and it's equally hard to feel bad when others love you and do not hesitate to make that crystal clear...

And the way other people see us is like a mirror to who we are -- what does it matter how we feel if no one knows it?

[glenn miller]

true