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Post by shadow on Dec 17, 2004 20:59:12 GMT -5
Hi everyone, I am very new here but have a big dilemma. I am a very shy young adult male who has been cursed with shyness ever since being sexually abused as a child. Having big issues with generally not trusting anyone, I found comfort in being around and riding horses. The problem with this is that it seems that when anyone finds out of my love of horses, being a guy and particularly a shyguy, they will immediately try to find a way to constantly embarrass me. I have gotten embarrassing names, girl's toy horses and other thing to basically call me a girl for liking horses. This is very upsetting to me since I just want to be with left alone and with something I like to do. This basically reinforces that people (especially other males) can't be trusted since all anybody wants to do if the 'smell' a weakness is hurt you.
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Post by franklin on Dec 18, 2004 15:24:14 GMT -5
sexual abuse is not good. Surely what you do with youre time is youre business as regards the horses - i mean jockeys, trainers and cavalry people ride them? There is the expense aspect-most people think they cost alot, so maybe they think you are rich to have one? (i went on one once it cost i think £60 for half a day, which is alot of money to alot of people, you could see quite a way from the top, the animal seemed well behaved and calm, it gave me a sore groin afterward bouncing up and down all day though, it was kind of theraputic but i could see how someone could have a dangerous accident on one) Maybe the teasing (no matter how bad and im not saying people should in anyway) is partly based on the people doing it thinking you are rich ? (some people say some people treat their animals better than other people, maybe it is because you are well off but sometimes people feel you other people badly?) i dont mind people who have horses (i dont like people that fox hunt on them, i wouldnt say i hate them but i dont like bloodsports) but they arent cheap and i can see how people might resent those that have them
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Post by franklin on Dec 18, 2004 15:35:04 GMT -5
why do you say "if someone smells a weakness they want to hurt you?" im no expert but not being funny but that sounds like the abuse still has alot of issues for you. I mean if you take the example of a horse i dont think if it could smell a weakness it would want to hurt you. If you abused it or bullied it it would throw you off i'd expect, maybe not today maybe not tommorrow but if you pushed to hard one day. But if you were calm and honest with it i dont think it would throw you (i mean the one i was on, i think i was about 9 or 10 at the time i jabbered on to most of the time i was on it, lots of tick tick noises, a few words of encouragment everyfew minutes, stroking its neck and then some carrots when i got off it) I thought if an animal trusted you it would respond better than if you kept saying "do this do that" to it.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Dec 18, 2004 15:55:27 GMT -5
Hi everyone, I am very new here but have a big dilemma. I am a very shy young adult male who has been cursed with shyness ever since being sexually abused as a child. Having big issues with generally not trusting anyone, I found comfort in being around and riding horses. The problem with this is that it seems that when anyone finds out of my love of horses, being a guy and particularly a shyguy, they will immediately try to find a way to constantly embarrass me. I have gotten embarrassing names, girl's toy horses and other thing to basically call me a girl for liking horses. This is very upsetting to me since I just want to be with left alone and with something I like to do. This basically reinforces that people (especially other males) can't be trusted since all anybody wants to do if the 'smell' a weakness is hurt you. Hi, Shadow. I can relate. You are very lucky to have something like horseriding that you love in your life. That is a healthy thing and you need to remain strong and not let people ruin that for you (many of whom may be jealous and the rest are probably just jumping on the bandwagon). It might be a good idea to keep your love of horses to yourself as much as you can since you obviously have people around you who choose to cast it in a bad light for whatever reason. About the abuse, it's very, very important to get therapy as soon as you can possibly manage it. It will make all the difference in the world to the rest of your life, I promise you. If you ever want someone to talk to please email me: sweetpeaalone@yahoo.com
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Post by Medici on Dec 18, 2004 16:34:31 GMT -5
What they are teasing you for doesn't even make sense. Didn't John Wayne and the Lone Ranger like horses? I don't get it. A horse can be your best friend as I understand it.
First your horse, then your rifle, then your wife.
Well anyway, hang in there and don't pay much mind to those people ridiculing you. Someday you won't even have to deal with them anymore.
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Post by shyusa on Dec 19, 2004 20:21:12 GMT -5
im shy and i own 2 racehorses whats wrong with that, theres nothing wrong and there is no weakness in something you like, they are probaly jealous because they no nothing about horses, some guys have dogs, some guys have cats, whats wrong with having a horse.
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Post by Monnlightairshadow on Dec 22, 2004 23:52:04 GMT -5
they call you a girl for liking horses? i think they r ridiculous, haven't those people ever heard of cowboys????cowboys ride horses, a lot of boys ride horses and some love horses, a lot of jockeys are guys who ride horses...i see really nothing wrong with a guy liking horses....u know wot i agree with these ppl just keep on doing what you love to do..ignore those ppl who got nuthin better to do excpet put u down..those ppl need to to shut up and get over it. im sure they will when they find somthink useful to do...!
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Post by glenn miller on Dec 23, 2004 5:54:21 GMT -5
just do what u love to do. dont listen to those people.
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Post by Cassava on Dec 23, 2004 8:43:37 GMT -5
Yeah don't let people make yuu feel small for doing stuff you like. The sad thing is I have to agree with you. Many people just like making fun of those they consider "weak" cos they know they can get away with it.
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Post by TANGERINE on Jan 24, 2005 16:18:52 GMT -5
Hi everyone, I am very new here but have a big dilemma. I am a very shy young adult male who has been cursed with shyness ever since being sexually abused as a child. Having big issues with generally not trusting anyone, I found comfort in being around and riding horses. The problem with this is that it seems that when anyone finds out of my love of horses, being a guy and particularly a shyguy, they will immediately try to find a way to constantly embarrass me. I have gotten embarrassing names, girl's toy horses and other thing to basically call me a girl for liking horses. This is very upsetting to me since I just want to be with left alone and with something I like to do. This basically reinforces that people (especially other males) can't be trusted since all anybody wants to do if the 'smell' a weakness is hurt you. SEE I HAVE TEH SAME PROBLEM AND I AM TRYING TO WORK ON IT. NO I AM NOT RIDFING NO HORSE AND I THINK THAT YOU ARE LUCKY TO RIDE AN HORSE BECAUSE NOBODY CAN AND MAYBE THEY ARE JEALOUS. BUT LIKE YOU I WAS TEASED MERCIFULLY MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM SHY. WHEN YOU ARE SHY YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TEH REFLEX TO TALK BACK TO THOSE HARASSERS AND YOU SHUT UP INSTEAD OF LAUGHING OR MAKING LIGHT OF IT, YOU LOWER YOUR HEAD IN SHAME BECAUSE YOU ARE HURT. I AM TRYING JUST LIKE YOU TO REALLY BE ABOVE THAT BUT IT IS NOT THAT EASY. MY FIRST REACTION IS TO TAKE OFFENSE BECAUSE I BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY, AND I GET UPSET, OR SAD, WHILE THIS IS EXACTLY THE TWO RECATIONS YOU AND I HAVE TO AVOID. BECAUSE IT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU RIDING A HORSE, WHAT THEY WANT IS TO GET YOU UPSET, ENRAGED, SAD OR HURT, THEY WANT YOU TO REACT NEGATIVELY, TO LOWER YOUR EYES ETC. SO NEXT TIME, LOOK THEM IN THE EYES AND SMILE WHEN THEY SAY THOSE RUDE COMMENTS, OR ACT AS IF YOU HEARD NOTHING. I KNOW ALL THAT IN THEORY BUT THIS IS WHERE I NEED THE HELP OF SHY UNITED, BECAUSE WHEN SOMEONE IS TEASING YOU OR BULLYING YOU, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CALM DOWN IMMEDIATLY AND I WOULD LIKE SOME IDEAS. I READ THAT YOU MUST IGNORE THEM, OR GET A COMEBACK, MAKE LIGHT OF IT, LAUGHT, SNICKER, SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, AND TO KEEP YOUR COOL . THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, HOW TO KEEP YOUR COOL?
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Post by Jarous on Feb 4, 2005 4:57:30 GMT -5
It is good that all the sad things in life at least keep me surprised and mildy amused ... ridiculous for what one can be ridiculed, isn't it? Hm, worry not, my friend, they are just jealous - it's them who can't afford a horse, can't ride a horse, can't find a companion in animals ... you see, you're the better one here - do not become like unto them!
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tklown
Junior Member
HTID
Posts: 60
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Post by tklown on Feb 12, 2005 13:21:52 GMT -5
I don't know what else to say except to try to ignore them and not let it bother you. It shouldn't bother you, these guys are a bunch of twats. You do what you wanna do, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. You already know this though. You'll make it through this garbage
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Post by wagnerr on Feb 17, 2005 15:04:07 GMT -5
What is so embarrasing or strange about riding horses? In my part of the world, horses are almost as plentiful as human beings! Just zing these jerks back with a smartass comment and make them feel bad. and embarrass them too, if you can.
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