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Post by shyflirt on Jan 22, 2005 20:41:01 GMT -5
hi! i was wondering if anyone else has dealt with my dilemma. i'm shy, and i'm attracted a shy guy. as a shy female, my one available and manageable strategy for letting a shy guy know i'm interested is getting dolled up to try to attract him. the problem is that everytime i do this i get (unwanted) attention from guys i'm not even directing this to. the last time i tried to loosen up a bit, i ended up with some old guy (who was with his wife at the time) leering at me for an uncomfortably extended period of time. all i was wearing was jeans and a flannel shirt, but i unbuttoned the shirt and wore a tank top underneath. it wasn't even low cut. i try to convince myself that i don't care what these other guys are thinking and ignore them, but it makes me want to cover up again when this happens. then i wonder if the guy i'm interested in thinks i must not be interested because i'm not acting as expected. any body else dealing with this?  |
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Post by Medici on Jan 25, 2005 11:58:38 GMT -5
Well I can't answer from the female POV. That strategy should work if the guy likes you - he should realize what you're doing.
One time though I was playing tennis and I had removed my shirt. Then some older ladies walked by and they totally raped me with their eyes. I kind of know how it feels. I showered for an extra long time after that, but the dirt wouldn't come off!
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Post by Alecto on Jan 25, 2005 13:01:38 GMT -5
I've experienced the same thing from time. The only time I really get dolled up is when I'm out with my boyfriend. It used to bother me a lot when men oogled at me. Now I try to just ignore it and go about my business.
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 25, 2005 18:38:46 GMT -5
I've experienced the same thing from time. The only time I really get dolled up is when I'm out with my boyfriend. yeah, when i've been in relationships i've felt more secure and i've been able to get dressed up for my boyfriend and ignore everyone else. but when i'm not in a relationship i guess i just feel more vulnerable or something and it's hard for me to wear anything even slightly revealing or even just attractive. about 99.9% of the attention i get when i do is attention i don't want. sigh... |
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Post by Alecto on Jan 27, 2005 20:59:11 GMT -5
about 99.9% of the attention i get when i do is attention i don't want. sigh... I know what you mean about that... its seems to be only the 50 and over crowd that seems to stare me down yick |
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 27, 2005 23:38:31 GMT -5
I know what you mean about that... its seems to be only the 50 and over crowd that seems to stare me down yick for me, it's not the age that matters so much. alot of the time it's the 'young and horny' crowd that's the problem. it's the attitude they have when they're doing it. hard to explain, but it's like they figure if you're dressed attractively (especially if you're revealing anything at all) it gives them a license to be rude and stare/ogle/whatever you want to call it. it's not that i don't ever want any men to ever look at me at all, or admire what they see, but they don't have to do it in an aggressive, rude manner. if a guy looks at you and gives you a nice smile, that's cool. but most of the time, that's not the way it is. |
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Post by Alecto on Jan 27, 2005 23:51:02 GMT -5
I see what you mean about that. Hearing rude comments and such just makes me uncomfortable.
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Post by Toltec on Jan 28, 2005 3:21:20 GMT -5
Where's the line between admiring the view, and being rude by staring? I'm looking for an exact time limit here.
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 28, 2005 3:27:28 GMT -5
Where's the line between admiring the view, and being rude by staring? I'm looking for an exact time limit here. i realize that can be difficult to determine, but for the guy i was writing about earlier it was probably about five minutes. and he's doing it while his wife is right there and completely unaware of what he's up to, which is very disrespectful to her. it made me very uncomfortable and i feel it was definitely over the line. i guess i feel like, if that's all i'm going to accomplish by expending the effort to look nice, what's the point? might as well be comfortable and dispense with the ogling. |
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Post by Toltec on Jan 28, 2005 3:45:44 GMT -5
I can imagine that would be pretty uncomfortable, but that's unavoidable. If you're dressed in a way to attract guys, there's no magical force that'll only let one guy see it.
It bothers me when girls wear shirts that show cleavage, but are noticably uncomfortable and use jackets to cover it up. If it bothers you, don't wear the shirt in the first place.
At least you women get cleavage. There's nothing guys can do to instantly get female attention. Muscles are mostly hidden under clothing.
I need to get some skintight pants.
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 28, 2005 4:08:17 GMT -5
At least you women get cleavage. There's nothing guys can do to instantly get female attention. Muscles are mostly hidden under clothing. I need to get some skintight pants. don't forget to stuff a roll of socks down there in front. that'll get you some instant attention!  |
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Post by Toltec on Jan 28, 2005 4:23:40 GMT -5
That is fraudulent and WRONG.
Like push-up bras, or those little jelly things they have that you put 'round your boobers and they look bigger.
They should be illegal.
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 28, 2005 4:30:33 GMT -5
That is fraudulent and WRONG. Like push-up bras, or those little jelly things they have that you put 'round your boobers and they look bigger. They should be illegal. hey you didn't say you wanted to be moral, you said you wanted to get attention! lol just kiddin around |
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Post by shyflirt on Jan 28, 2005 4:39:29 GMT -5
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Post by Toltec on Jan 28, 2005 4:57:04 GMT -5
I'll take 8.
Inform the president.
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