Very shy in person only?

[Outcast]

Hello guys.

Have you ever been complimented before by someone? That when you chat with them online or talk to them on the phone, you don't seem that shy a person? In fact, you maybe quite the opposite. Because a friend/acquaintance of mine told someone i know, who told it to me.

This person told me i was really good at conversing with other people either on the internet chat or sometimes phone conversations. It's when i meet people and friends in person that i really become overly shy and quiet.

Well, it seems to me, more and more people are saying this about me. And i just can't help but wonder why i am like that. How come i act differently when i am talking with someone either from the phone or chat?

It just makes me wonder. And maybe if i could figure that out, maybe i could find out how to cure this shyness most people have. Then again, maybe there are many different kinds of shyness to even attempt that.

Edit: I am not really sure about this. Since there are a lot of different kinds of personalities out there. So, maybe this could only be just about my personality. Of my being an introvert and all.

[Sweet Pea]

i used to be very shy when i was in school. as an adult, i've gradually grown out of it for the most part. but i still have my moments. things that are emotionally difficult for me tend to bring out my shy tendencies still. and every now and then i'll suddenly get shy when i least expect it (hate that). but i'm sure most people i meet nowadays don't really think of me as shy at all. the shy attacks are more likely to happen in person rather than on the phone or online like you said. i also tend to be somewhat reclusive and private, although i really think this is a separate thing from shyness. honestly, i really just dislike alot of people and don't want to have to deal with them any random time they feel like it. therefore, i don't encourage alot of dropping by without calling ahead, etc. i do meet someone every now and then who would always find my door open however, just because of some peculiar reaction i have to them that i simply like them and would like to see them anytime they're in the mood. this is very rare though, and unfortunately they don't always return the sentiment. i actually envy extroverted people who can enjoy hanging around with just anyone who happens to be around. over time i have discovered that my preference is people who have a shy, quiet nature. i actually have a friend who's a bigger recluse than i am, and i have drop by status at his place which is major, lol. i think it's because he knows i'm not the judgemental type. we're also just friends, and we both know it would never be more. i think that helps. you start getting into the realm of romantic type relationships, things get more awkward i find.

[annaa]

I am shy in person, and using the phone gives me a lot of anxiety.
But on the internet i'm a complete twit. I say just about anything.

[Stranger]

I'm probably as bad on the phone, but I seem to be more open in writing. I'm guessing it's because I've got a bit more time to respond, and feel less pressured to have a snappy answer.

I can only guess, but perhaps in your case you're more comfortable because you're only communicating to them via voice, and not through body language, so you've got less reason to be apprehensive about things--less things to slip up with, less ways to look "out of place," etc.

[konnor]

I used to get this alot. For me I had a problem with blushing and so it was quite clear why I struggled in person and was alot more extrovert in non visible scenarios.

It's good that you are getting complimented for it. I'd say try and build on that. I find that it helps keep friendship stronger when they are aware a little deeper down there is a chatty person itching to get out

[Outcast]

Yeah, i think the fact that i have more time to think of a good response during chat sessions might have something to do with it. Plus, the fact that the other person will eventually have to read what you typed. Oh, and yes, you can edit what you say, and people wouldn't even notice your trying to think of a good response or stuttering. Because sometimes, when i am really nervous in person, i can't think of anything good to say. Not to mention my voice is embarrassingly soft and weak. I think another reason it's a bit easier for me to talk on the phone or chat with a person is because it's more of like a one on one talk. You know, your not really put in a spot, not like in a group meeting or discussion. When you know all these people are looking at you. I can get really conscious. And that's another thing i suppose, on the phone or chat, no one is looking at you, so your less conscious of your looks,or actions. Although i can handle one on one talks in person as well, it's still kinda different when its on the phone or chat. I don't really know why.

Oh and Konnor, i also have that blushing problem when i'm being put on a spot. I really wish i could control that. Yeah, its kinda nice to get that compliment from people. Letting them know, beneath that shy exterior, lies a really friendly,and perhaps fun person.

But sometimes, when i think about it. I get confused. Is it really me,talking on the phone and chatting so friendly? If it was me, why am i so different in person? Oftentimes people would see me as a snob in person. A serious person that isn't so friendly. But when i get comfortable with a person, i can really be friendly and at ease with them.

Well, maybe i'm just over analyzing things again and it's all just part of my being an introvert right? It maybe best to just go with the flow, and see where it takes me then. ;D

Thanks again for the replies.

[annaa]

outcast said:

Well, maybe i'm just over analyzing things again and it's all just part of my being an introvert right?

Absolutely.