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Post by HybridMoment on Dec 30, 2004 2:35:01 GMT -5
I agree with Seabreeze. Though I can't speak for everyone, it seems to me usually shy girls like shy guys. But shy guys like confident girls. I find this a little dissapointing, but oh well.
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Post by Toltec on Dec 30, 2004 6:22:09 GMT -5
I find myself more attracted to shy girls personality-wise. Unfortunately the ones around here don't put any effort into their appearance, or they actually try to hide their sexuality. I knew a shy girl who would wear a sweater every day, even in the summer, to avoid showing her breasts. They weren't exceptionally big or small. Just normal, and she was ashamed of them. Then again, the sweater thing might not have been related to her breasts at all. I used to wear a jacket every day, no matter the weather. It was a security thing. I didn't feel right in public without having it on. One day I got brave and decided to go to school without it. I got so nervous I pretended to be sick and got a ride home.
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Post by Cassava on Dec 30, 2004 8:06:50 GMT -5
I agree with Seabreeze. Though I can't speak for everyone, it seems to me usually shy girls like shy guys. But shy guys like confident girls. I find this a little dissapointing, but oh well. Wrong. Shy guy here looking for a shy gal. Dated a confident girl... didn't work out at all.
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Post by Medici on Dec 30, 2004 11:27:40 GMT -5
I prefer someone who is confident, quiet and reserved. She should have a lot of energy and interests and not be bitter or depressed. Bitter and depressed is not attractive.
Shy and sensitive are fine and good so long as they don't include the bitter and depressed parts.
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Post by Human on Dec 31, 2004 13:37:47 GMT -5
But then if you choose to have a confident girl , will you be able to handle the kind of activities she used to do quite often? like going out with a group of friends, visiting family, making parties..etc If you say Yes, then how often will you talk during these social events, don't you think that she might feel embarrassed because you are so quiet! Don't you think that she might reach the conclusion that you are like a barrier for her, as she is not able to do what she likes to do, or at least not able to enjoy it when you are around. But on the other side if you choose a shy girl, then you will both share a lot of interests. It won't be hard for her when you say: "no I don't want to go to that party, I prefer to stay with you at home or go out together somewhere", on the contrary she might even enjoy more the time you both have together rather than with many other people around. Do you realy think that if you marry a confident girl that will help you overcome your shyness? Well I'm not sure! If someone has been through such an experience then pls let me know as I'm also trying to make up my mind
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Post by seabreeze on Jan 1, 2005 6:55:20 GMT -5
I find myself more attracted to shy girls personality-wise. Unfortunately the ones around here don't put any effort into their appearance, or they actually try to hide their sexuality. . yeah i think ur right. i know in my case i do tend to hide myself alot, especially from guys. i guess it must be an unconcious way of avoiding attention, especially from the opposite sex.
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Post by Spartan on Mar 17, 2005 21:32:17 GMT -5
I used to think of myself as pretty shy. Then I took a chance and started talking to this girl I like. She is not shy or really outgoing. I started to realize that I'm not really as shy as I thought. I think I'm just quiet and I used to lack quite a bit of self confidence.
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Post by carly on Apr 5, 2005 16:44:42 GMT -5
I read a book like that, saying how shyness is a gift. At first it made me feel better, but really...thats not the point. Shyness isn't a gift in and of itself. You can be nice, sensitive and observant without being shy. I mean I think we all are nice people shy or not.
I think if I was more talkative people would get to know me better and like me for me. Not cuz I'm shy. I'm really getting annoyed at myself because I know I am smart enough to express my opinons....but me being shy stops me.
So, yes shy people are usually always nice, but nice people aren't always shy. And we can and should keep our nice shy side, but work on the life interfering parts.
I agree with the previous post. It does have a lot to do with self-confidence. Being shy is not a bad thing, but being not confident and having poor self-esteem is. I think an improvement on that, would improve some of my problems at least.
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Post by Vanessa on May 2, 2005 2:35:37 GMT -5
Well said, Carly :-)
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Post by pnoopiepnats on May 2, 2005 7:08:33 GMT -5
wow, did i say that? what an idiot. when was this? about six months ago? well, since this old thread is being revived, i think i should set the record straight by saying that i've had reason to revise my position. shy men are not teddy bears. they are men. and they want to be taken seriously AS men. any woman who ever lets a shy man think she has an idea of him as a cuddly, adorable, passive teddy bear is probably not going to get very far with him. shy men want respect, they are individuals like everybody else. so if you're ever interested in getting close to a shy man, i recommend you avoid words like sweet, adorable, sensitive, etc. i really don't think they want to hear that crap. .I think everyone wants respect. Yep shy men ARE men! yay!
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Post by zaab on May 3, 2005 2:52:25 GMT -5
i recommend you avoid words like sweet, adorable, sensitive, etc. i really don't think they want to hear that crap. I for one don't mind. I'm not John Wayne nor do I want to be. I can be as tough as any guy, don't get me wrong. But I like my sensitive side just as much. I think its cool that I feel things about ten times more intensely than any other guy does. This is my gift. Any guy can act tough and disaffected. I'd recommend you respect shy guys for their whole self, assuming they don't dislike the sensitive side which would be a bit sad if they did.
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Post by zaab on May 3, 2005 3:18:27 GMT -5
i hear what you're saying, but i think that's the whole problem. too many people think they know who a shy guy is just because he's shy. he's automatically this warm, cuddly, sweet, passive, sensitive guy. well, actually, maybe he is, and maybe he's not. *shrug* you won't know til he lets you know. you shouldn't assume any other traits based simply on shyness. i'm not saying you should assume they don't like any part of themselves. i'm saying i don't think it's right to assume ANYTHING period. Very true. Just on this board there are a large array of personalities. And people don't become shy in exactly the same manner. We're all not sensitive and we're all not passive, at least in areas not pertaining to intense socialization.
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Post by zaab on May 3, 2005 3:41:23 GMT -5
right. i guess it just hit me when i saw that old post that i was guilty of stereotyping shy men there. but we shouldn't be stereotyping ourselves or each other. we shouldn't be trying to live up to a label or expecting others to. shyness is one trait which may coexist with those other traits, but may not. we are all unique. and our traits aren't static either. we grow, develop and change just like everyone else. so we shouldn't expect ourselves or others to always be the same. Yep. Well said.
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Post by Bunjimoon! on Jun 11, 2005 22:01:06 GMT -5
pleeeeeeeeeze,
It's an individual preference!
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Post by sporadic on Jul 1, 2005 23:09:49 GMT -5
But I like my sensitive side just as much. I think its cool that I feel things about ten times more intensely than any other guy does. Same here, it's just annoying that everybody else seems fairly oblivious to it.
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