Derrick
Full Member
Lost Soul
Posts: 241
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Post by Derrick on Feb 2, 2005 16:55:40 GMT -5
Same here. I've stopped caring about the remarks by some of the gossipy men/women about being quiet. I just do my job, to the best of my ability, and am comfortable with where I am. I keep a positive attitude and try to remain calm and friendly, which is a far cry from the bitter, jealous, mean spirited introvert of just a year ago even.
I'm rather non materalistic to begin with and just don't have the drive that I admittedly should have to be more then I could be. When someone says that they are looking for power, I'm always the one who makes the comment, "power to do what?"
If I had a million dollars, you'd never know it by the way I'd live.
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Post by andy on Feb 6, 2005 13:49:42 GMT -5
have you ever thought ,that it is quiet people that are considerd to be cool and mysterious? For example: clint eastwood-robert redford-charlie bronson-paul newman- spock-jesus ( the still small voice)" the words of wise men are heard in quite more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools".ecclessiastes9.17
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Post by shygirl2005 on Feb 8, 2005 13:43:38 GMT -5
I have this one particular problem--I've always been this way. I can not go eat in the lunch area at my job. I'm too scared to do it. I usually get my food and go back to my office. I do want to get over this. How should I go about doing it?
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Post by zaab on Feb 8, 2005 13:53:32 GMT -5
You prepare and make the whole situation as nonthreatening as possible. You bring some reading material and choose a nonconspicuous spot of the lunch room and eat. Then when nothing bad happens you categorically dismiss the fears you plague yourself with. Then you determine what the next lunch room fear it is you'd like to get over. E.g., perhaps ditching the reading material or going to a more central spot, and then when you're feeling really brave, find people to eat with.
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Post by lsdima4 on Feb 8, 2005 14:03:16 GMT -5
Take a chair and put it in the corner of the lunch area. Then put a big "do not disturb sign" on your back, sit on the chair facing away from the lunch area eat your lunch.
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Post by why on Feb 8, 2005 15:07:40 GMT -5
I have this one particular problem--I've always been this way. I can not go eat in the lunch area at my job. I'm too scared to do it. I usually get my food and go back to my office. I do want to get over this. How should I go about doing it? is this basically about eating in a public place where people can watch you? what kind of thoughts are you having when you decide you can't do it?
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Post by Medici on Feb 8, 2005 15:13:54 GMT -5
If there is a group of your friends who eat there, maybe you could join them? I don't like the cafeteria either. I can eat there, but I wouldn't go alone. If I'm eating alone I prefer to eat at my desk.
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Post by shygirl2005 on Feb 9, 2005 8:03:26 GMT -5
That's funny, lsdima4.
I don't know, I guess it's because I don't really know that many people. I guess I don't like to eat alone? I don't know. I had one friend that would eat with me, but she doesn't work here anymore.
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Post by lsdima4 on Feb 9, 2005 9:04:43 GMT -5
Watch other people interact. What they say, where they look, their gestures, their posture.
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Post by Kathy on Feb 28, 2005 17:56:25 GMT -5
I was shy and introverted. I would harldy talk to the people around me at my previous workplaces. It was difficult for me to relate to them but that wasn't their fault. I was in the wrong job, I had little interest in what I was doing or the people around me. I had little confidence in me or my work. So I left and eventually (after a couple more jobs that didn't fit me) found a position that greatly improved my confidence. For me it was all about finding a place where I fitted. It was a rewarding job that I happened to be good at. It raised my confidence to the extent that I wouldn't call myself shy anymore (maybe a bit bashful from time to time). I'm still quiet and I like to spend time on my own sometimes.
It's about accepting what you are and what you do. Honesty is a big part of being shy. I was frightened of revealing myself in case people would recoil in horror. Or point and laugh. I took myself way too seriously. A good way of combating shyness in the workplace is finding work that is more important than your own feelings. Something rewarding that will force you to be brought out of yourself.
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Post by Ms Pnats on Mar 20, 2005 9:49:53 GMT -5
Work has been the area where I have really struggled. It is a fact the relationships at work is what gets you promoted. Schmoozing with the bosses and co-workers is something I have been terrible at. OTOH I am not sure I want to be promoted into anything of a managerial capacity. I love hands on work and would hate to be stuck with endless boring meetings and supervising other people.
I think it is because I don't give a crap about most of the snakes at work. I like to work alone. I hate talking on the phone and I hate meetings.
I'm quite competent at what I do and so it is easy for me to get a job in my field but keeping it is another matter. I get bored easily so I have mostly done consultant type work on short to medium projects. I seem to be well respected at work for my ethic and expertise bu I have heard people say that I am aloof and hard to get to know.
I start a new job next week and I am terrified. I shouldnt be as I'm going in as a senior level consultant.
I guess I don't get how to schmooze with the boss etc. It seems like such a time waster from doing productive work. I also eat lunch at my desk 95% of the time. The last job I had I actually developed a few lunch buddies whom I did like as people.
So I will go in next week and put on my game face and attempt to impress the boss and co-workers all the while not being myself.
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Post by Ms Pnats on Mar 21, 2005 7:01:18 GMT -5
you can do it, but i wish you good luck anyway. a little luck never hurts. Thanks for the good luck!
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Post by Ms Pnats on Mar 21, 2005 7:03:52 GMT -5
It's about accepting what you are and what you do. Honesty is a big part of being shy. I was frightened of revealing myself in case people would recoil in horror. Or point and laugh. I took myself way too seriously. A good way of combating shyness in the workplace is finding work that is more important than your own feelings. Something rewarding that will force you to be brought out of yourself. I have found that just being myself on the job leads to disaster. I have a corporate face I put on before I go in and take it off when I leave.
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silentsunset
New Member
Embrace this moment just as it is!
Posts: 18
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Post by silentsunset on Aug 1, 2005 3:27:24 GMT -5
Yeah! One woman said that she thought I was just reserved.
It is a lot more fun at work when co-workers are my friends. Who cares about the management? I don't trust them enough to share my truth with them. Well, maybe in both cases trust is an issue.
But I want to have good friends at work. Meeting with them outside of the work environment, being open and honest seems to deepen the relationship (if they are shallow shoppers, then we don't have much to talk about.) I have been at this job for 6 years and I am just beginning to enjoy eating and chatting in the lunch room. I used to blame it on the flourescent lights, but it was more than that. Good grief, it has taken a long time. A year or so ago I accepted the fact that socially I am in kindergarten, well, maybe first grade now.
A co-worker with small children once said when five of us were gathered in a room on a slow day. "We're just practicing our social skills."
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Post by wagnerr on Aug 3, 2005 14:40:30 GMT -5
I don't have too much in common with the people i work with, so that presents a barrier in itself. I do get along with them, but i just don't feel like i fit in with them well at all. I run into this a lot. I'm always looking for a place to belong, and i have yet to find that place.
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